Im fed up. I just had the most stupidest argument ever. We're were talking and she gave me advice out of the blue when i didnt even ask for it, and i just simply told her, i dont want her to give me advice when i dont ask for it, and she blew up, shouted at me, and accused me of being rude and criticizing when i was just saying they truth. And then she refuses to get me these things i need and walked out.
She was acting like a total kid. stubborn and out of order. She always blames other people for things when its her. i just cant live with it anymore.
How can i handle this stress that caused by her? i cant move out, i cant afford it. im almost 18 by the way.
2007-10-10 00:53:14 · 12 answers · asked by Just_Call_Me_Shady 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Im 17 and my mothers the same. She's so mean that I have no respect for her anymore.
I just have to pretend she isnt there anymore, its all I can do as Im stuck here with her.
2007-10-10 00:56:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tedrfand (?) has got it right. You cannot change your mother. You can only change the way you react to her. She will probably still be telling you what to do when you're 40 (mine does). You don't want to be getting stressed for all those years. Just accept this is what she is like, smile, thank her and do your own thing.
If she is determined to have a argument then try to stay calm and say - 'mum, I really don't want to argue with you' and walk away.
I know it sounds like you're having to be the adult while she acts like a child and that's because it's true, you are, but it will make life so much easier for you.
2007-10-10 09:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by susie03 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she offers advice or whatever just take it, you dont have to do it. It sounds like you were a bit rude, reverse the situation & if she spoke to you like that you wouldnt like it so neither should she. You cant answer back in a, to be honest, discourteous way & then expect her to go out & buy you stuff, get real. When she offers advice (even if you didnt ask for it) just say "oh, right, thanks" & move on. Youre just begging for an argument by talking to her like that!
2007-10-10 08:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by tedrfandthedog 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
to be fair.. your living in her house - so you should live by her rules..
I can completely sympathize with you as I am your age (im turning 18 soon) and can totally relate to the controlling mother! - but there isnt much you can do.. you live under her roof..
maybe when you turn 18 things will change...
When you see an argument occuring, walk away.... - its just the age! all my friends experience it too! But their parents started giving them alot more space when they turned 18!
When you start uni/college or whatever and you start mixing with different people etc - you will see an imediate difference - well thats what happened to me anyway. Me and my mum were always at each others throats - but when I started college, met new people, started to go out to "older places" :P and started to plan to move out etc - we argued less! ..we still argue though! its not going to change!! but - things will improve... I think most teens go through this with their parents!
2007-10-10 08:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by Busybee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The trick is to get your point across without offending her. Cater to her ego.
"Mom, I really appreciate your advice, thank you for taking the time to look at my problems and try to help me with them, it means a lot. But maybe I should try to tackle this alone."
That's the best way to actually get her off your back.
But when I was 17, the last thing I really wanted was to make peace. It's more likely about winning for you now, getting the upper hand. And in that case, she'll just get worse in return. So decide which it is you want and make it happen.
2007-10-10 08:02:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she's acting like a immature kid. My parents give me advice out of the blue. I just pretend to listen and walk away when they're done. You'll be old enough to move out pretty soon anyways.
2007-10-10 07:58:51 · answer #6 · answered by debbie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she's struggling to accept you're becoming an adult, it's hard for some parents. You be the adult and sit her down, calmly explain why you got upset and that you have to sort some things out on your own. Reassure her that when you need help, you'll ask for it and hope that she'll be there for you then. Good luck!
2007-10-10 08:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by raceylaidee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am 29, I have been moved out of home for years, but my mother STILL gives me unwanted advice, and STILL is unreasonable when we attempt to have a talk about it.
I know this doesn't help, but some mothers are just REALLY ANNOYING!
2007-10-10 08:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by fire_woman_1978 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said your nearly 18, act it. You said 'you told her' well ask yourself how your speaking to your mom, maybe you don't realise that it's how you say things, not what you've said that upsets people. Then you say she refuses to get things you need - Grow up You don't demand respect you earn it. Shake yourself up a little a start acting like tha adult you want to be.
Maybe when your a parent you'll finally realise.
2007-10-10 10:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by MrsFidge 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just wait until you become a Mom. Everything isn't roses for her either............ Show some respect, listen, and then use your own judgment,,,,, She has a lot of responsibility but that doesn't give her the right to be so angry... Maybe she needs some time for just herself.. She really just wants the best in life for you.....
2007-10-10 08:18:28 · answer #10 · answered by Rhonda W 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋