can u give me some advice on how to disapline my 4year old? he is the perfect child at nursery and always does as the teacher tells him.but soon as he gets home es compeletly the opposite.he doesnt listen,hes always arguing and fighting with his little brother (who is starting to follow in his big brothers steps)i hate aving to shout at him n dont want to hit him or send him to bed, so wat other options do i have?i av tried the naughty step it worked 4awhile, but doesnt do owt now,e knows wen es dun wrong and does apologise wen i tell him to.is it jst me?or is this just how they grow up?
2007-10-10 00:10:20 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Here there is a bit of advice which I have followed through for my son and it has worked. I am sure that this will work for you too.
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/discipline.html
2007-10-10 00:17:00 · answer #1 · answered by Raj 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm willing to bet that at some point you have said "Oh, ALRIGHT! Anything to shut you up" to your son.
You need to be firm - not shout. Keep your temper, but PERSIST. Do not ever, ever, ever let him get away with bad behavior or laugh at it.
Use a reward system - isolate him (one minute per year of life on the naughty step - no more) when his behavior is bad, and physically stop him if he attacks his sibling. Ask him if he knows why you are not happy with his actions. When he explains what he did wrong, ask him if he is sorry. Accept nothing that is not a genuine apology.
Praise him to the highest heights when he is good! Especially with his siblings. Be proud of him loudly, in public, when he does the right thing. Encourage him to take a pride in being the Big Brother.
None of this is his fault. He's FOUR! You have to show him how he is supposed to behave and he will!
Be careful only to criticize the DEED not the CHILD! eg "You are such a lovely boy, why would you do such a silly thing?"
Good luck - you have plenty of time so don't rush him!
INSISTENT, PERSISTENT AND CONSISTENT
2007-10-10 00:20:06 · answer #2 · answered by The Dalai Farmer 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could try taking away some of his favourite things such as his favourite dvd or toy. This is the most effective form of disipline i know.
My mother is a foster carer to a 6 year old boy who did not respond to any form of traditional disipline (eg - being shouted at, put on a naughty step etc ..), but when she took away his favourite thing, or told him that he was not allowed to go watch a favourite tv show or take away someting else she knew he cared a lot about for a small period of time, and she found this works a treat for stubborn children.
I know you said you dont want to have to send him to his room, but you will have to introduce some form of disipline unless you want a little monster on you hands who in a few years time, you will not be able to stop fighting (will be too heavy to move him away physically). Im afraid if you dont want to disipline him, you will end up with a disrespectful young man on your hands.
Harsh yet true
2007-10-10 06:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Mama to Michael + bean ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter went through this when she was at nursery. She was an angel when she was there but turned into a devil child as soon as she saw me. I had a word with her favourite teacher at nursery and she took her to one side during nursery time and had a good chat with her. I have no idea what she said but it worked a dream. I think it has something to do with the fact that it was someone else telling her how much it upset Mummy when she was nasty and how much i loved her. Apparently, my daughter was really upset that she was making me sad. Worth a try, i had tried everything-naughty step, smacked bottom, bribery, crying (me not her) but none of these worked so i was desparate. I would do it again with her school teacher if necessary but touch wood-she has been fine since. Good Luck, hope you get your angel back soon.
2007-10-10 00:45:41 · answer #4 · answered by nooka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consistancy is the key with disiplin. When you use the naughty step are you being consistant and enforcing the correct amount of time for him? If it isn't working maybe you should put him in his room for his time out so you and he both can chill out for a few minutes and then reapproach the issue with the bad behavior. Also if there are any favorite toys he likes try taking them away for a day or so and make him earn them back with good behavior, make sure you are giving him praise for the good behavior when he does be good. Sometimes bad behavior is a way to get extra attention if you haven't had enough time to spend with him one on one...kids want attention even if it is negative attention because your having to stop what your doing and address him or her. Good luck to you!
2007-10-10 01:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Lori M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it probably is just a phase that he is going through or maybe he is behaving like that because he knows he will get a reaction from you even if it is a negative one. Why not try and use the naughty step again but this time try and bear with it and I think it will pay off for you good luck.
2007-10-10 01:56:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Pain is a good teacher, i mean if your at work and you shock your self cause you put the wrong wires together, are you going to put those wires together again.
The only other thing you can do is, take away his luxury's.
Teach him that he has consequences for his actions, and that nothing in that house his really his. Teach them all respect, cause that is the main flaw in the young people today, they have no respect.
2007-10-10 00:24:59 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better start working hard on him now, cuz he's due for kindergarten next year! The best thing I can suggest (and its very unconventional...a lot of people don't agree with it but do try it when there are no other options) is, when your son is acting particularly awful, take him by the arms and kneel down so you can glare - not stare - GLARE into his eyes for a very long uncomfortable period (usually only a minute or two) with an angry expression. In a low but firm tone, tell him that he is acting like an animal and if he doesn't stop it, youre going to treat him like one. Wait for him to ask "how" (they usually do). You tell him youre going to lock him in a cage and feed him bugs for dinner. Never faulter, either...kids are sharp at picking up when youre fooling or not. If you do it right, he'll calm down, just incase youre *not* "fooling". Make sure to maintain that stern expression throughout the rest of the day. My daughter was a blessing and my nephew was great, too....but my niece was a horror. This certainly worked on her. Its all psychological....screaming and hitting never work and makes you look badly. So you have to figure out how to mentally intimidate him while showing him love at the same time. Its a tough, tight rope to walk across, but with a little imagination, you can make it work great with a fantastic outcome. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-10-10 00:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
He may be jealous of his younger sibling. Children will do anything to get attention, even if it is bad attention. Try telling him how much you love him, and that you need him to be a big boy, and to help you teach his little brother to be good. Make him feel important. He has lost part of the attention you gave him before his brother was born, and he is fighting to get that attention back. By including him in teaching the little brother, he will feel that he is still important.
2007-10-10 00:16:55 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
1. Time out in a chair . He keeps getting up you keep putting
him back until he stays for the duration of his time out .
2. Crack his little butt , when all else fails , a good smack on
the bottom isn't child abuse .
3. Quit letting him run YOU.You are the parent , start
parenting . Quit feeling bad , he's testing you .
5. Be strong , he's at that age .
2007-10-10 00:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by vpsinbad50 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋