some advice?

Question

can u give me some advice on how to disapline my 4year old? he is the perfect child at nursery and always does as the teacher tells him.but soon as he gets home es compeletly the opposite.he doesnt listen,hes always arguing and fighting with his little brother (who is starting to follow in his big brothers steps)i hate aving to shout at him n dont want to hit him or send him to bed, so wat other options do i have?i av tried the naughty step it worked 4awhile, but doesnt do owt now,e knows wen es dun wrong and does apologise wen i tell him to.is it jst me?or is this just how they grow up?

Answer 1

When my daughter was 4 she was just the same. It is as if they use up allthe good behaviour in school.

We never really solved it, but she did grow out of it. One thing that helped was to make sure she had a snack as soon as she left nursery, sometimes on the way home.

It is almost certainly (like most of these things) just a stage.

Answer 2

When the younger child is not around try getting down to his level and playing games with him, get to know him as a little adult and not just a child. Let him know that the other child is naughty, not just him and even ask for his advice. I have had five children and found that it is well worth spending time understanding, interacting, and asking opinions. I think if you treat them as children they become children and think they have a right to be disruptive and destructive.

Answer 3

You could try whispering - it has had an amazing effect on my two. Kids get adult deaf, so although shouting seems to be the only answer somethimes they think that they may miss out on special things if they don't catch what you are saying. Star charts with stickers are also great incentives. Good luck

Answer 4

too much advice to fit in one box..but the basics..if hes good at school,he can be good at home..in my opinion,be consistent,explain why he cant do what hes doin,and give him consquences..ie..we are wearing wellies today cos its wet,and if we dont we cant go to the shop/park..dont touch the tea,its hot,and you will get hurt,and that would make us both sad..ther are so many books and programmes,but as long asyou pick some ground rules and stick to them,really stick to them and ask others in your family to stick to them and respect your authority,he will notice in hours,ive seen awful children tamed in minutes.never hit a child,and explain why we dont hit people,and punish him quickly and firmly if he does..ive always found that cause and effect is the best way..you broke the toy so the toys have been put away,we will do something else..you hit your brother so you cant play with him ,go to other room..and finally,use his little brother or other children as a reward and example..look at sam eating his dinner up,he can have a star/treat/reward..are you goin to eat up and have a star/treat/reward like sam?make sure he sees other child get rewarded,and dont give him his unless he does.tell him he can try again next meal or for another chore.
just be calm,firm and consistent..if he knows he has nothing to gain from kicking off then he will lose interest quickly and realise that doin it your way will get him attention and rewards..good luck,and have faith.i can recommend dr tanya bryon from the hose of tiny tearaways on tv www.raisingkids.co.uk/fea/fea127_tanya.asp

Answer 5

Well at least he is behaving well at school! That is a major plus! I read a book that helped me learn to deal with my son and he is now 11 and is pretty well behaved. It is called How to Behave So Your Children Will Too.
You could read that book. It has a lot of good suggestions.

Answer 6

Aunty it is how young ones growup,be it girl or boy.But then what you do is praise other children for having a calm nature in front of him and also wish that you could have one infront of him.This will have an impact on him and he will surely try to change.best of luck.try ur best

Answer 7

Take him to a homeopath, they are very good at children's behaviour issues. It sounds like he needs Lycopodium. You can find your local homeopath at www.homeopathy-soh.org (the Society of Homeopaths).