Ok you guys, I have given my advise, now I need yours.?

Question

I'm in my mid 50's, single and took a break from dating a year ago.
I just felt like I had so much going on in my life, I had no room or nothing to give to another person.
Trying to deal with family issues, work issues, financial difficulties, bouts of depression, natural menopause, a bad back, some nerve damage. See what I mean?
Hey, it's helloo getting old :)
I met a man a year ago through a mutual friend, I don't think I was being set up because I had already made up my mind to take a break from dating, which I have done in the past. I've only seen him maybe about 6 times within the last year.
He let me know he liked me and wanted to go out, but I told him nothing personal, I was on a dating break. I have told him this every time we saw each other through mutual friends.
Last week, I saw him with our mutual friend and told him again, I'm on down time for me, nothing personal. This time he said, well maybe that's just what you do need.
Once I got home & thought about it..

I knew how much I missed just being held. How much I missed having someone to eat w/at night. So, I accepted, we went out dancing w/ other friends. He was on cloud 9. Now I've been told,"be careful, he is very sensitive" and HE IS! He also has serious back problems, he's never been married, no children & won't answer any of my questions about him. I also found out he's very depressed. When I went whew..I'm having a hot flash, he said he get those too.?? Do men really get hot flashes? Ok, now 2 dates and he wants me to come over every night which is a no brainer, NOT. so I think he's taking that as I don't even like him. My problem is I think he's going to ruin a possible good thing before "I" get started, he is really very nice but why do men have to rush a relationship like this? Insecurity? Should I just back out now and tell him nicely, it's not going to work out? I'm leary of his depression from his pain, other than that everything seems good. What do I do now?

I call it a dating break to get order back into my life. I take time for me maybe to get over a realtionship that ended poorly before I want to get into a new one, that's all. Just another reason I call it a break. I was mostly concerned with being warned by a few of his friends of him being "so" sensitive. I guess I'll have to decide how sensitive he is and if I can handle it. I'm a very indepent person, stronger than most men I've ever met. Also, he just told me he has to have back surgery he can't take the pain anymore, I told him I'd help him. I also explained to him how I've helped many of my single friends, like I've grocery shopped and cooked for them, taken them fast food because they were bed ridden. Just today he asked me to come over & watch tv tonight 4 times. I said tonight is not good for me. He said, so you don't like me anymore? I do like him, but not that comment & I don't feel the need to rush, just trying to learn from past mistakes. I may be once bit, twice shy?

Answer 1

Katie, maybe it's time to become less rigid with your life. Why have "dating breaks" at all? If you meet someone you want to date, date him. If you're really not interested, don't date him. If I were to give advice to you, I would say that, in general, you should develop a more "take it as it comes" type attitude.

Answer 2

You feel like your getting on in life, family issues to deal with, health problems, may have some doubts about being set up, saw this guy 6 times in the last half year, finally the guy said something of interest. Now you wonder if you should date him . You refer to your friend as mutual which may mean that you have some dependency issues with your friend and you are now wondering if you should consider dating this guy.

Answer 3

i don't have much dating exp but he may be right and the only way to find out is to try give the man a shot