I have nothing against vegans it's just that every time we go out to dinner it's a battle because we have to go somewhere he can go and 99% of the time he picks where we eat without asking anyone where they would like to go. This is really getting on my nerves, is this normal on my part to get upset about?
2007-10-08 20:00:01 · 22 answers · asked by mary m 2 in Food & Drink ➔ Vegetarian & Vegan
** I've sat many of times at a place that he eats at , that I hate, without eating and it doesn't seem to bother him. When I was pregnant the smell of the food would make me sick and he would still choose to eat there, even if I just sat there hungry and pregnant. So I do make great sacrifices for him and his diet, I was jsut irritated because he wouldn't do the same.
2007-10-09 04:32:31 · update #1
Start off by saying you respect his dietary choice, then ask him if he would consider discussing the meal choices with those going before making a decision.
If he still refuses and feels he's more important than everyone else... invite him less often. This works with my (for lack of better words) mean, grouchy, antisocial grandmother.
Good luck!
2007-10-08 21:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by Chef J 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Vegetarian food is pretty common but vegan food is not. Many veggie dishes often contain butter, some sort of cheese or egg so true vegans have a hard time finding things to eat @ most restaurants.
One solution would be to make a list of your favorite restaurants & call them to see if they can acommadate your father-in-law's needs w/ adequate notice.
Then you can let him know about these restaurants & offer to make a reservation for the next dinner and let the restaurant know that vegan options will be needed.
Chinese, Thai & Mexican restaurants are the easiest ones to try. Japanese cuisine often uses fish broth but you can ask if it's possible to get truly vegan dishes. Indian restaurants often use butter for their veggie dishes, so you need to check that.
Middle eastern restaurants are another option. Italian restaurants can be tricky though because many dishes have cheese or are flavored w/ meat broths.
Interestingly enough, many steak houses offer hearty vegan side dishes such as baked potatoes, roasted asparagus, sauteed mushrooms, green salads. You can check w/ local steak houses & check out their options too.
2007-10-09 03:59:40 · answer #2 · answered by Treadstone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you rather he sat at the dinner table without food and stare at you?
It's rude for him to force his choice on you, because I'm sure you don't want to eat tofu at a vegan restaurant, and it's rude to take him to a restaurant he can't eat at, because he's tired of not being able to eat anything at a normal restaurant. It's pretty easy to find vegetarian food, but nearly impossible to find vegan food at most restaurants (because most restaurants cook everything with butter or on a shared grill with meat). If you want to avoid this fight, just don't go with him to dinner, and don't invite him to yours. If I were in your shoes I would alternate restaurants. Let him pick one time and you get your choice the next.
Also, not all vegetarians/vegans like salad. I haven't had a single once since becoming a vegetarian (four months ago), and I would only eat something that bland if there were no other options.
2007-10-09 07:53:42 · answer #3 · answered by Divided By Zero 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
there are many places people can eat that both the vegetarians and the meat eaters can enjoy the meal. try blind folding him as a surprise and take him to a place that caters to both. make sure they have a very high veggie menu. if he trys to complain just nicely let him know that they serve vegans there but he has to also consider the feeling and wants of other people who are with him. if he cant understand this leave him home for a while while everyone else goes out. eventually he will come around.
2007-10-09 10:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by jones68178 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why cant he just go to a place that you enjoy that sells burgers.. (Im sure you like burgers?) AND salad? Vegans eat salad, obviously. Or, when he comes over, how about not going out to eat at all, maybe make a dinner at home, something for the vegan and the non vegans.
I am vegan, and I wouldnt ask that of people, just as they wouldnt demand I go to a place that sells just meat. We pick places where I can have my salad.. which I love to eat anyway.
2007-10-09 04:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its not rude that he wants to go somewhere he can eat at. But most restaurants these days offer vegan options, so your choice should not be limited too much. However I don't see why he should always chose the restaurant, or at least not without asking anyone else. Whoever chooses can always make sure they have vegan items on the menu when making the reservation. He may have less options to choose from but that is part of being vegan.
2007-10-09 03:12:10 · answer #6 · answered by curious 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Your father-in-law "only wants to go to restaurants he can eat at"? How dare he want to enjoy a meal with his son and daughter-in-law! I'm just shocked that he wants to be sure he can eat at a restaurant. Shocked, I tell ya. /sarcasm
I mean, would you rather he sit there, miserable, eating nothing, while you stuff your faces with food? That's what's rude.
Look, you can ask him to discuss what restaurant you go to and not make a unilateral decision--but you do have to take his dietary needs into consideration when you go out to eat.
What you should do is compile a list of restaurants you enjoy that have vegan options and let him know that such and such a place has, for example, a roasted vegetable dish they can do with olive oil instead of butter. Or they can give him a portabello sandwich--something like that. You can also try Middle Eastern places, Indian places that can leave off the dairy, Asian places that can leave off the fish sauce, etc.
And you can just enjoy a meatless meal at a nice vegetarian restaurant and make your father-in-law happy.
2007-10-09 11:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by VeggieTart -- Let's Go Caps! 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Is there food you can eat at the places he picks? If so there is no reason to complain. Sure you might not get as big of a variety but at least your father-in-law gets to eat too. How would you feel if you went to a place that didn't accomodate your lifestyle. Save the steakhouses and such for when your father-in-law doesn't come along for dinner.
2007-10-09 11:25:33 · answer #8 · answered by al l 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try KOSHER! You can safely entertain your father-in-law at kosher dairy restaurants. They offer "parve" selections which contain no animal products. You can ask if the item has eggs, but most won't. Veggie burgers, falafel, and portobello mushroom items are staples there nowadays. No issue with cooking on a "meat-contaminated" grill, either.
Too often the fight about food, and restaurants, is one of control. If you make it an issue, you are only hurting yourself. It is an important relationship; after all, he is your hubby's dad. He is not being "rude." Rather, he has made an ethical choice and abides by it. It's not worth getting ruffled about it. It's just a meal. Enjoy... especially if he picks up the check! Your children will benefit ultimately, too, if you can focus on what you enjoy about the relationship with their grandfather,
2007-10-09 03:37:50 · answer #9 · answered by SlothMom in Slothburgh 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it is pretty rude and you have a right to be annoyed. He is the one with the unusual diet and he should understand that people shouldn't have to cater to him. Besides, there is always something on the menu he can eat.
On a lighter note, it is nice to let him choose a place now and again, just not all the time or from what i gather forcibly.
2007-10-09 04:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by docboy2u 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋