Situation: A man went before the parole board a couple days ago and, fortunately, was turned down flat. He was in for the kidnap, rape, sodomy, and attempted murder of a childhood friend of mine. One of the main reasons he was turned down for parole is that he has never shown any remorse at all for what he did to her. To make matters worse, this piece of human filth is distantly related to me.
Problem: If he had been released, he would eventually have ran into me. I really don't think he would survive meeting me face to face. I can honestly say I hate this person with every ounce of my being, and would snap his neck in a second, even though I know it would be wrong for me to do so.
What can a person do to get past pure unadulterated hatred? Is it possible? Would it even be right to try not to hate such a cold blooded animal?
2007-10-05 18:21:34 · 16 answers · asked by Enigma®Ragnarökin' 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
For those who are saying to pray; I do appreciate your thoughts, but I'm not Christian.
2007-10-05 18:53:01 · update #1
oldhag: no danger of him coming after me; He and a couple of his friends tried that once, and they will NOT try it again. Now I have my lady and my daughter to protect, so it wouldn't be a good idea for him to ever come here.
2007-10-05 18:56:13 · update #2
not sure i can help you with this one-some people deserve to die-------sorry this is not really helping but i dont see where hated of this is a bad thing-----enjoy the night
2007-10-05 18:26:35 · answer #1 · answered by lazaruslong138 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I haven't read the other answers, so this may be a repeat. Is there any way you can tell him or write to him what you are feeling? Then demand a response of some kind? That might help. Also, it would remind him that you are quite angry. I know I wouldn't want to face an angry Navy Seal. I'm sure you've tried physically working it out as well. I hope you can work it out.
2007-10-06 09:58:05 · answer #2 · answered by Purdey EP 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hate that you have for this person is not doing anything to him; he probably couldn't care less about how you feel about him. Your hatred is not helping your friend who was hurt either, since you cannot change the past. You hatred is simply poisoning your own life and robbing you of happiness.
At this point, I usually pray to God and ask him to dish out the appropriate response. Then I just walk away from the pain, hatred, and hurt and let God deal with it. It is God's problem to run the universe and judge the world, not mine.
2007-10-06 01:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by Randy G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The hate you have for this person is the hate anyone would have for such person, I don't blame you. But to hold the hatred in your heart will only ruin you. I'm not saying you should forgive him - rather be glad he's put away in jail and got turned down for parole. If you believe in divine justice, he will get his deserves. If you don't then atleast he's rotting in jail.
But remember... while its natural for you to want to kill this person if you encountered him , don't think about that. Just be glad he's put away. I hope I've helped...
2007-10-06 01:33:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
((((((myfuzzybluefriend))))))
This is hard one. Hate eats you from the inside out and it hurts him not at all. That's my noble, well thought out psychological answer.
That being said we are still human or, er, demon, and we react in certain ways. A lot of hate is really just intense anger and disgust. Which is what this "person" deserves. I can offer you all the cliches but that's all they are. The fact is some people don't deserve to breath the same air as the rest of the human race.
But by all means don't snap his neck. As you said, you have your family. Protect at all costs, do not destroy. There is no sense of justice in that.
Much love my friend.
2007-10-06 09:13:35 · answer #5 · answered by ~Heathen Princess~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a punching bag and put his picture on it. Beat the H*** out of it for a couple of weeks then have a big funeral for it and bury it in your back yard. You could even have your friends over to punch it some, and have an Irish wake for it after wards.
You could make a tomb stone for it that reads "Here lies my hate and anger for "________" may it stay here in the ground and never touch my life again!" Or something like that.
Then if you run into this creep just look through him because he is dead to you!
Blessings my friend, my thoughts are with you!
2007-10-06 02:23:11 · answer #6 · answered by DrMichael 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't know if there is really a problem with feeling this way as long as it isn't taking over your life. i tend to be passive aggresive, but if some sick perv laid a hand on either of my daughters i know i would kill that person. so i can understand a very small bit of where you're coming from.
i don't believe in killing for the most part, but it is sometimes a necessary evil.
with your emotions, as long as you can still restrain them and they aren't poisoning you, then i think they are just a part of you that you will have to accept.
i don't think you have to hate the person, you can hate the act. however, strongly disliking the person to the point of having no association with them is not out of the question.
2007-10-06 02:07:43 · answer #7 · answered by luvjeska 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a tough one. I am a pacifist by nature but I can really relate.
My disabled mom was mugged and beaten up last year by a thug who was never caught and I often, consider what I would do if he was caught.
I honestly think I would want to beat the living daylights out of him for victimizing helpless people like my mom and , I'm sure, others.
I actually fantasized about it for a while.
I wish I could tell you how to let go of that hate, but I'm struggling with it myself. Maybe we both need to see counselors...
Peace and good luck
2007-10-06 01:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by DontPanic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You asked if there is a way to forgive someone like him:
yes
accepting Jesus as Savior and asking Him to help is the only way.
Acts 2:21
Romans (10)
John 3:15-21
2007-10-06 02:16:55 · answer #9 · answered by robert p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no easy answers to real situations, when it comes down to it.
For myself, I tend to look for inspiration in and from others. I try and find words and examples that inspire the best in me rather than submit to a lower level of existence:
"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it."
and
"Let no man pull you low enough to hate him."
are 2 quotes that resonate with me.
I wish you Peace and (((hugGs)))
2007-10-06 02:49:03 · answer #10 · answered by Orpheus Rising 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's fine not to hate this man.
You hating this person doesn't accomplish anything. And, if you want to harm him for the things he has done in the past, you are just as bad as him.
What a man can do to get past it is forget it, or just realize the point of hatred. It does not matter that he is related to you distantly or closely. It would be a better choice to use your energy in feeling sorry for the people he hurt, instead of placing your energy in hating him.
2007-10-06 01:40:35 · answer #11 · answered by somefatguy 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋