What happens when you start to drift?

Question

When I was fifteen years old, I ran away from home. Now, I don't recommend this to anyone, but, I was brought up in a fine Christian home. A "Mommie Dearest" meets "American Psycho" Christian home. And there came a point in time when I realized, against my own heartfelt feelings, that if I did not leave that home, I would surely die soon. So I ran away. Now, 15 year old kids don't usually fare very well on the street, but I met a lady named Pat. She was a an elderly lady. She saw me on the street and offered to buy me lunch. I ate. She asked if I had a place. I said no. She said "come with me". I did. She gave me a free place to live, and her house was full of witches. Some hated me, because I was young and cute, some didn't acknowledge my existence, but most of them showed me a tender kindness I had never known before, and rarely since. I stayed in that house for a while, and learned the tarot, how to cast spells, how to love, but , then I started to drift. I forgot about this love.

They weren't all witches, there were astrologers and all kinds of what I thought at the time wack jobs. But, I drifted away from this little space in time and had forgotten about it for many years, ... until I came on R/S. And if you want to know what the question is, it is thus; What happens when you start to drift ? Do you just forget, like I did, or is it something that is waiting to be remembered?

Answer 1

I ran away from my good Christian JW home a few years ago.

I'm not 100% sure on what you mean by drifting. I drifted 'mentally'...drifted away from reality. I think I spent about 75% of my childhood getting lost inside my mind. Imagining I was someone else, somewhere else, with friends and different parents.

It would really p*** my dad off when he realised as he was ranting and screaming into my face, that I'd turned off and couldn't hear a damn thing he was saying...a good slap to the head usually brought me back to reality.

I think I wandered in my imagination so much that at times I was on the verge of hallucinating. Maybe that was a good thing.

When I ran away, I was lucky enough to have someone with me. We had no home for several months, so we stayed where we could. Anywhere was better than home.

I wish I couldn't remember. But lately for some reason every tiny thing makes memories rush back, none of them good. It's screwing with my head.

I'd much prefer amnesia of my childhood. Existence would be far easier.

Answer 2

I grew up in a similar environment, add a Catholic school with nuns though. I have realized as I grow up that you have to drift to find the path you were meant for. If you don't drift, things stay the same and for some that isn't meant to be. Some of us don't want the same everyday for our time here. I look forward to drifting, even if return to the past I've learned new things and have grown mentally and spiritually.

Answer 3

I started running away from home at the age of 15, but for different reasons. This may give you some insight into why I conduct myself the way I do. I'm not sure why I'm telling everyone this, because it will reflect poorly on my parents and my religion.
So, my parents were strictly secular with me until I was about 8. Then, when I started asking questions about death, they allowed me to start attending church with my older half-sister. This is where I first learned about Jesus. This lasted about a year, and everything pretty much went back to normal. My dad kept drinking and smoking pot. My mom kept working so much that I never saw her. I relied on my mother's live-in sister, my aunt, for daily needs.
Well, when I was 12, my parents got saved. Suddenly, everything changed. The rules about dating, phone calls, and extracurricular activities became much more stringent and harder to follow, especially for an adolescent. When I was 13, my parents said I could date when I was 15. When I was 14, it changed to 16. I still had my aunt, though, and she helped me through some of it... even though she couldn't change anything.
When I was 14, my aunt moved away because of a job promotion. She had been my primary caregiver from the time I was 2. I was even on her health insurance, not my parents'. My parents had started going to a church that was an hour and a half away... twice a week I was stuck in a car for 3 hours with relative strangers. And they were stuck with a disgruntled teenager who they knew nothing about. Their solution? Take her to church. Force the Word of God down her throat. True, I did believe in Jesus, but I knew they were just trying to anesthetize the real issue: that they knew nothing about their daughter, who was just entering her rebellious stage.
I ran away from them, because that love you talk about was absent. Sure, I loved my parents, but only because they were my parents. Not because I had any respect for the way the were trying to raise me. I "fell away" from the teachings of my church for a while, until I was sure that I was making my own decision, not that of my parents.
I was lucky. I had some friends with amazing parents who took me in. The family I stayed with the longest was that of my high school sweetheart, who were LDS. They were wonderful people, even if I didn't agree with them.
I tell all of you these things to explain why I don't push my religion on others. Sure, I love a good discussion, but only when the other party is consenting. No one likes to feel like a victim, and when they are being attacked with Christianity, that is basically what happened to me.
I think the best way to show my religion is by showing others that love that you talk about, 8-Track. I think you know that by now.

Answer 4

When I drift I trust the wind.

I friend of mine said:

"When we see a bright color we are witnessing our own inherent goodness. When we hear a beautiful sound, we are hearing our own basic goodness. When we step out of the shower, we feel fresh and clean, and when we walk out of a stuffy room, we appreciate the sudden whiff of fresh air. These events may take a fraction of a second, but they are real experiences of goodness. It is not just an arbitrary idea that the world is good, but it is good because we can experience its goodness."

Trust your own goodness. Be guided by it to see the beauty in people like Pat and her friends. There is a beautiful world, hidden to many. Trust the wind when you are adrift. It will blow you somewhere beautiful.

Thank you for sharing so much.

Answer 5

You weren't drifting but simply traveling the path you have set before yourself. I just knew you had been touched by a witch somewhere in your life. When I drift I think of it as more of a course correction of some kind in my path.....

Answer 6

That drifting feeling brings me comfort. I like spinning out of control on one of those round spinny things in a child's playground... especially after a few beers.

What I wouldn't do to learn about spells or tarot. I tell you what... how's about we make a deal... I'll teach you a lil something about how I love... and you tell me a lil something about tarot and spells!

Answer 7

Sometime I think that what we are, each of us, is everything we have ever chosen, noticed, understood, thought, enjoyed. We are, each of us, much bigger then any moment of us.

Sometimes I understand an experience of my life profoundly... and then years later, I understood new things in thinking back of the same experience.

Becoming more aware of oneself, growing, learning - these do not end in life, even if rhythms change, even if one paints one's mind into a corner and closes one's eyes and sings "la! la! la! la!" to drown out hearing. :) Sometime beyond time we are all of what we have been.

Choice exists while life does, at least. :)

Answer 8

To understand, to know, I became a drifter, a cosmicdrifter. To stay with the same thing, the same beliefs is a slow death.

Answer 9

In life, there are questions and part of the process is looking for answers.

Answer 10

I met a devil woman, she took my heart away
She said I had it comin' to me, but I wanted it that way
I think that any love is good lovin'
And so I took what I could get, mmm
Oooh, oooh, she looked at me with big brown eyes
And said

You ain't seen nothin' yet
B-B-B-Baby, you just ain't seen nothin' yet
Here's something that you never gonna forget
B-B-B-Baby, you just ain't seen nothin' yet