How do you become confident and independent?

Question

I'm shy, insecure, and have trust issues. I want to know how to change this. I'm at a low point in my life, but I've got a good plan for the next year that should pan out if everything goes well. Are there other ways to gain confidence and independence?

Also, about my trust issues. I know why I had them; a weird online relationship for 5 months, and I traveled 32 hours on a bus to go see this person, it was not the person who they told me they were. It was a fat, overweight, hairy, b*tch that didn't even want to stay and chat with me for a little bit, they just told me to go back home and left. I look back on this relationship and see all the things that I should have seen were lies, and now I over analyze everything. How do I stop this and just trust people?

If you know good sites that can help out I'd appreciate that too.

Answer 1

Confidence comes from pushing your boundaries and trying things that are in your 'discomfort zone'. Each and every time you try this and discover that it wasn't so bad, you gain confidence.

However the trick is not to take too big a step at one time. Its a lot like exercise a little bit at a time and then gradually increasing is the best. If you do too much at once, its just going to hurt.

I like Eleanor Roosevelt's quote:

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do it "fake it till you make it" - what I mean by that is you need to really believe in yourself and believe in what you can offer another person. Just because you had a bad experience with one person or even two people does not mean it was YOU. In fact it sounds like the other person had some major issues. Don't be so eager to please everyone - please yourself. Not to the point you hurt anyone else, but a good, strong relationship takes two people coming together and making adjustments - not just you!!
I hope this helped you in some way.
Best wishes!!

Answer 3

I can tell from your info that you are young. You will meet trustworthy people but I would make sure I met them in person. Most of the online things don't work as we have a hard time being honest about ourselves. I have never met anyone on line but I have heard plenty of scary stories. I feel bad for you for that trip but learn from it.

Independence can be gained through wealth! Get a good education.

Answer 4

CHANGE YOUR LIFE CHANGE YOUR THINKING
1ST TO BECOME IS TO BEGIN
YOU MUST MAKE UP YOUR HEART AND MIND THAT YOU ARE ALREADY THE PERSON YOU DESIRE TO BECOME YOU ARE NOT TRYING TO BE SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE NOT ALL READY

AS IN YOUR HEART YE BELIEVE THEN SHALL YE BE

INTENTION OR INTEND TO BECOME
IS FOLLOWED BY ACTION OR BECOMING

ACTION FOLLOWS INTENT

NOW WITH ALL THE METAPHYSICAL STUFF OUT THE WAY


LIKE ALL THINGS IT TAKES DEDICATION AND DISCIPLINE

YOU HAVE DISCIPLINED YOUR SELF OR TAUGHT YOUR SELF THE BELIEVE YOU HAVE ABOUT YOUR SELF

SO BEGIN TRAING YOUR MIND YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS AS TO BEING THE NEW YOU


AFFIRMATIONS

I AM ;IS ;THE ;CREATIVE RECEPIT

WHAT EVER FOLLOWS THE I AM STATEMENT
WITH A DEGREE OF CERTINTY IS THE RESULT

I AM FILL IN THE BLANKS



ALSO POSITIVE ENVIRMONTS POSTIVE READING MATERIAL POSSIBLE NEW FRIENDS
WARDROBE

TREAT YOUR SELF ALWAYS GIVE YOUR SELF A GIFT


THE OTHER PART OF THE QUESTION ILL PASS

A SONG BY FIVE FOR FIGHTING
CALLED THE RIDDLE

THERES A REASON FOR THE WORLD YOU AND I

Answer 5

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

**NEWSFLASH** Every relationship you will ever have in your life will fail. You only get it right once (if you're lucky). Welcome to the club, it's not really that bad, pretty much everyone is a member. Don't act so shocked, I know it's hard to believe even the most famous people with the hottest wives/husbands and the biggest piles of money have made fools of themselves, but it's true!

There is a saying that goes, when you don't have anything to hate you hate yourself. I suggest getting smashed and watching Fight Club 100 times. If you can't figure out where to direct your suppressed rage in a healthy manner, your misery will continue.

Answer 6

Don't be so uptight first of all. Nothings a big deal in life so take it as it comes, relax around girls there just people. Have fun with life it's really as simple as that.