My parents refuse to speak to my sister. There was a disagreement back in June over my two neices and nephew visiting over the summer. My parents only wanted my two neices to come (they are older) and my nephew to only come if my sister came along with him (he wasn't on his best behavior when he visited last April). Well, my sister and her husband decided that if my nephew couldn't come my neices couldn't come either because my nephew would feel rejected. My parents felt totally disrespected (they were paying for all the travel expenses). It has been almost five months, I have tried to open the lines of communications, but nothing is working. My sister has tried (she just is agreeing to disagree) to reach out with no success. I am at my wits end. I see points from both sides, but my parents are being the immature party in this matter.
Please Help! Should I call Dr. Phil? I am about to!!!!!
2007-10-05 16:50:06 · 21 answers · asked by Little Lyn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have tried everything, I have tried talking to my parents, but they just get irate and try to shove their thoughts down my throat. I wouldn't really call Dr. Phil, but I would like him to say some stuff to my parents let me tell you. I say my parents are being immature about this because my dad will ***** to my Aunt asking her who is right and wrong. What difference does it make? I don't see what stake my parents have in it really other than they are missing out on spending time with their grandchildren. I refuse to alienate my sister and her family. The only ones suffering is my parents. The don't realize that the kids have all they need, two loving parents. Grandparents are just bonuses. They can do with or without them.
2007-10-05 17:06:14 · update #1
Well my first reaction is that your parents have serious issues to deal with . Just because they are paying for everything does not mean they OWN the people they are paying the way for. I go with not letting the nephew feel rejected. Your parents need to grow up and realize their money does not in any way buy respect or acceptance. But it might buy them a nice respectable tombstone. (internal personal up-tightness related)
2007-10-05 16:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by legal aide 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the great scheme of things, five months isn't that much... People will probably come together, once all the dust has settled.
Dr. Phil is certainly not the answer! Do you really want to present your whole family as a dysfunctional family, over one major disagreement?
If you feel it would help, get a family councilor that DOESN'T have a TV show — and who'll have more time to spend with you than Dr. Phil and his team. That way you won't have to solve your problems in front of the entire world (possibly making things worse, as I'm not sure your family want to be on TV?).
2007-10-05 16:58:48 · answer #2 · answered by Twisted Intellect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well 1st of all when your nephew got into trouble last year was it stated right then and there he would not be allowed to come back the following summer? If not then has any one seen any changes in him? If so then he needed to go, He should been punshied when it happen not a year later,that gave him a whole year to grow, he should of been able to with the understanding that if it happens again then he would no longer be able to go any more and his summer would be cutt short, But I would have to say your mom and dad are right to be upset and the aunt for not taking their side they are the parents, And when it comes right down to it, If you have done everythng and they wont talk to each other over his they need to get some help, they need to relize how they are acting and get help, and if you are talking to them both maybe you can get them to agree on a meeting with you on both sides, if they dont call DR, Phil the man, Good Luck getting him to call you back i have tried almost 3 months later nothing,
2007-10-05 17:00:40 · answer #3 · answered by lynnrr38 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the kids miss out too. im a grandma and if i couldnt see any of my grandkids i would die. i love them all. your parents really need to get over this.i have had some of my grand kids act up to. but i still take them . i guess for the little time i get to see them i can put up with the mischeif. or miss behaving. your parents should take control when hes there show who is the boss when the kids are in there presence. maybe you should call dr, phil for some advice. the only thing how would your parents feel if you do that.tell your parents the kids grow up to fast wasting time being upset at them isnt gonna make it better. it will only bring alot of heartache andregrets when it is to late to change it. so do it now before it is to late. good luck
2007-10-05 17:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by Fran J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issues are certainly serious ones in your Family right now, but rather than rush off & call "Dr Phil" for solutions, I would try to be more patient to see if just "time" will help. Sooner or later, if your Family members really love one another, they'll come around to find a way to resolve this issue. Should you choose to call "Dr Phil" for help, keep in mind if you get air-time on TV- the whole world (more or less) is going to be in your business & know about your problems to include the studio-audience who will be watching your Family's drama unfold up there on stage. Do you truly want to air (so-to-speak) your dirty laundry that way?
2007-10-05 17:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to open communication fast. Request from your sister to write an elaborate apology. The first actions you take, go to your sister house and have your nieces and nephew to pack their clothes immediately, and then stop at the store to buy some flowers.
Afterward go directly to your parents home and drop the kids off at the front porch, and wait in the car until someone answers the door, and then drive off. The kids can stay the weekend and hopefully this remedy the relationship. I will keep this situation in my prayers, and let me what happens. God bless
2007-10-05 17:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let your family know how much stress this is placing on your shoulders. They need to know that you are feeling this way and if they still have no concerns about it then maybe they won't even agree to go. They can't be forced on. It is best to speak to them first and if they feel that is the step they need to take then go for it. If you still can't get them to understand you can write Dr. Phil and get some help that way.
2007-10-05 16:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by sissyfyia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they need a professional intermediary to resolve their differences.
Being able to see both sides is being objective, however you state your parents are being the immature party in this problem, which is a subjective statement.
You might suggest a family counselor or Dr. Phil.
2007-10-05 16:56:35 · answer #8 · answered by dd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your nephew? Let me tell you something, my house my rules. And if a child can't behave then go home. There are rules all kids should follow and if they can't why should any besides their parents have to put up with them. I would call nanny 911 and dr phil lol
2007-10-05 16:53:38 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like everyone is being childish.but you can get just as good advise on here from ppl then u can from doctor phill.i think that if u could then trick them somehow into meeting.either that or u need to first talk to ur parents and let them know that they are all there grandkids and they shouldnt be choosing favorates.just cause he wasnt that great last time doesnt mean he would be like that this time.tell them that they need to stop being childish.and get them to call ur sister and have her bring all of them out there...i think ur sister is in the right with this.they need to learn how to love all of there family,not hate one for being a kid.tell them exactly what ppl on here think u should say/do.good luck and hope it all works out for ya
2007-10-05 16:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by babygirl_12589 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋