What is going on?

Question

Honestly, I don't get it. I'm an attractive female, young, in a successful grad program, sweet, adventurous and fun. To be blatantly honest, I feel like I can reel guys in without too much trouble...but keeping them there is another story. I'm pretty confident so I try to make sure I don't let guys walk all over me. I let them know that I am interested, but not too available either. I'm not clingy at all. I'm pretty easygoing and easy to get along with. But, I can't seem to stay with anyone for more than a couple of months if not weeks! I feel like I've had interests and flings here and there for the last 2 years but can't seem to get into an actual relationship. The last year, I feel as if it ends up being a whole lot of mutual interest b/w me and a guy friend and then I just end up getting hurt without any understanding. I don't get it & am starting to get kinda upset by it. What is going on?!

Answer 1

So what is it you are looking for? Do you want someone to be in a serious long-term relationship with? Do the guys you 'reel in' want the same thing, just not with you? It's not quite clear, but I think maybe you did want more of a serious relationship and they wanted out. Pay attention to the qualities of these guys. How are they alike and how are they different? Are any of their similarities clues to the fact that they don't stick around? Some guys really aren't relationship material. Or maybe there is some common denominator in how you behave with them that is affecting the outcome. Have you tried talking to any of your female friends who know you (I obviously don't) or even to any of these guys to see if they can give you any ideas about this? They might not be able to answer. Sometimes people do not know or cannot put into words how they feel. Or maybe it's just not yet time for you to be in a serious relationship. Are you sure you have time for that while you are in graduate school?