ok so me and one of my close guy friends had a fight over something really stupid.we had known eachother 5 yrs at the time, he accused me of making fake myspaces of guys to make him jealous.We had a huge argument as went our seperate ways..9 months later i email him and apologize for something i didnt do becuz i really cared for our friendship..hes ignoring the emails..why isnt he accepting the apology?Is is that big of a deal?
2007-10-05 14:09:33 · 11 answers · asked by Answer Me Damnit 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Guys are *******, take it from a guy. I want to say, however, that I think apologizing to him for something you didn't do was a bad idea. You should stand by your principles, and if he can't figure out the truth, it's his trouble and you should be strong and not make amends that are not compromises but plain give-ins to someone who seems like a jerk. Compromise is one thing, but that is not compromise. As a guy, you can expect him to keep not talking to you because he wants to feel in power and just because you "apologized" doesn't mean he's going to start talking because then it means he's not displaying any power and, as awkward as it sounds, doing things on your terms. He will talk eventually, but he wants you to feel that he's in control and will talk to you only when he feels like it. He's hurting you but it's giving him a powerful feeling, which a lot of young guys look to feel since they usually, at their age, don't have any life accomplishments that can speak for themselves.
Just know that it's a rare guy that doesn't do what he does. Young guys, good guys, are like this. It's natural pretty much.
I am really sorry you are getting hurt by this :( I know you think about it a lot and it just feels like the situation is draining you of any comforting feelings and leaving you chillingly empty... But just know that's it's sort of natural. Smile :) It'll be alright.
2007-10-05 14:21:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, none of this is really your fault. It certainly involves you, but you are the object of unrequited love - of which you were unaware, I think.
I think at the time when you considered him just one of your "closest guy FRIENDS", that he may have been in love with you, and he may have been too shy to come out & say so - hoping that you would realize that he was, and return the affection, (which I think is borne out by the fact that he became so incensed when he thought that you were making up MySpace e-mails just to make him jealous, (which - whether made up or not), did make him jealous.
Now 9 months later I think that he is still hurting, embarrased, and angry about being spurned, and he does not want to be your "friend" he wants to be your "Loving Man" your boy friend, the man of your dreams, the love of your life - but just "One of the guys?" - NO THANK YOU !!!!!
I would just write this one off little sister, unfortunately I think the wound is too deep, and too painful, and quite frankly his behavior some 9 months later is something that can't be ignored. I'm not too sure that I'd want him to "come back to the fold" so to speak, and then you find a guy to hook up with - then what? I can see this guy going bullistic again - and I don't think I'd want to be round when he blows, because I'm not to sure of what he might do, (There was a line from LadyHawke that comes to mind, when near the end of the film the Bishop says "If I can not have you - than no man shall" as he attempts to kill the love interest of the movie - played by Michelle Pffifer.
Stop with the e-mails - and just let this go is my advice.
2007-10-05 21:35:24 · answer #2 · answered by jtrall25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First , I can understand and sympathize with your current misery as a result of the situation between you and your friend of 5years; a period of time that is practically a lifetime. I also agree with you that the break up was over a stupid argument. However, you should never apologize when ever you are innocent regardless of the circumstances.While I applaud you for trying to reconcile with your friend after 9 months of silence, it should not have to happen at the expense of your honesty, dignity or respect .Nobody, especially, somebody who calls himself your friend, has a right to ask that of you. He has ignored your emails even when you apologized for something you are not even guilty of because you care. It potentially suggests somebody who is full of himself,or was looking for a way to end the friendship anyway, is not a forgiving sort(maybe a side you did not know about), or is enjoying what he believes is his power over you.Email him one last time. tell him you miss your friendship, that you even took blame for something you did not do as proof, and friends are supposed to make up after misunderstandings. If he still ignors you , then I suggest as painful as it may be for you, just cut him off and move on .With time , he might wake up to the fact that he has allowed his big ego to cost him a good friend; because that , in fact, is what you are. Good luck and please keep us posted.
2007-10-05 21:38:26 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think women tend to blame themselves for things that happen. If he suddenly stopped talking to you over this after five years then I don't really think you were as close as you thought. There was no need to apologize and he should have taken your word for it. This sounds like a friendship that is better off in the past. Let him go. He was part of a different phase of your life.
2007-10-05 21:17:27 · answer #4 · answered by velmicro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would like to know how old r u guys and I really hope you guys are 17 or less. If you guys are adults and this guy is making a big deal of my space, he was never your friend.
2007-10-05 21:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by barbaraso a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is a BIG deal that he accused you of something you did not do "to make him jealous." He sounds like he is jealous, and obviously not because of something you did. And, it sounds like he will continue to accuse you of cheating on him, and punishing you for things you did not do. He sounds like someone who is jealous, controlling, immature, and abusive. Be glad he is not responding to your emails, and if he does, delete them without even reading them. Run as fast as you can away from him. He is a LOSER.
2007-10-05 21:16:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to apologize for something you didn't do? If he is still insistent you did it, then it is time to go your way. Isn't it stupid to appease him?
2007-10-05 21:16:06 · answer #7 · answered by TopDog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have been played by him... probably he has some other reason, why he doesn't want to be ur friend anymore..... e.g he got a new g. friend or u are very ugly or beautiful.
2007-10-05 21:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't bust yourself up about it. He sounds like a fool and a jerk.
2007-10-05 21:15:30 · answer #9 · answered by night_wolf_ice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 MONTHS IS A LONG TIME ANF YOU WERE JUST FRIENDS THEN Y WOULD HE CARE
2007-10-05 21:12:33 · answer #10 · answered by love 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋