On the outs with her, have one last weekend in hotel but where and what to do anyone?

Question

Thanks for reading all.
Ok here it goes, I have been seeing someone for 3 months and them themselves have been seperated for just about that same amount of time.

I have been a doormat to be quite honest, extremely
predictable and certainly no longer a challenge to the woman I am with.
I am so concerned with disagreeing with her because I don't want to upset her. I know that makes me a candy a**.
She attempted to break up with me last Sunday however we discussed it and said that she needs her space and time to deal with her sepreation.

Now then....
You know i'm a bit of a candy a** and a bit of a doormat, however looking at me or hearing the tone of my voice you wouldn't think this.
The relationship is to the point where I have to ask when we can hang out. She calls back when she wants as opposed to being on point in the beginning.

How should I change my demeanor and what should I do to right the ship?

Answer 1

The biggest problem here my friend is your timing.

It's not wise for a person to jump from one relationship into the next. I'm sure that you have heard the expression "rebound." There's a reason why it's always used in a negative sense --- because people need time to heal after a breakup, a separation, a divorce, or a death. Relationships that begin during this recovery time are destined for failure. The best thing to do is to back off --- knowing that you may not get back together again. Attempting to hang in there and work things out is only going to push her away. If she actually told you that she needs her space and time to deal with her separation, then I'd say that that's probably an understatement. She desperately needs time and space.

Answer 2

Maybe try to put some distance between the 2 of you. Maybe not call so often. It sounds like she likes the comfort of knowing you will always be there when she is ready. This is not fair to you. When you said you have been a doormat I think you are exactly right.

If she has only been out of her last relationship 3 months she probably isn't sure what she wants. I bet she is trying to play the field a little and using you as her fall back guy.

Let her know you need and expect more. If she cant deliver, move on.

Answer 3

I can relate and I hope what I have to say helps you. If you start out too strict or tight on a person you can always loosen up as times change and situations warrant, but if you start out too loose at first it is impossible to believeably tighten up later on. I did this very thing in a relationship and it cost me dearly; I was overcompensating for having been too rigid in a previous relationship. She f u c k e d me up good; it literally took years to recover. My point is, it may not be possible (or even desirable) to go back around this woman at all....too much damage has already been done, just never approach another woman like that or let her have that much power over you. As for this particular woman, the less said to her the better.

Answer 4

I think you need to first ask yourself if you are really a candy*** or just wanting to please this person and for what reason. Do you feel she is "out of your league" and want to impress her, keep her? The list could go on and on. The bottom line is you need to be yourself. If you call and ask her to hang out and she does not give you a time etc. Make your own plans do not wait for her to call. When she does if you are free fine if not let her know. You do not need to play any games by pretending you are busy or be a hard***. Just be yourself. If she is interested in YOU she will let you know. If not let her go. Better to do it now then to get caught up in a fake relationship

Answer 5

It sounds like a lost cause, a big mistake, so gather your gear and leave .

Answer 6

Leave her alone and make her chase you, stop being such a puss.