Why Do People Tend To Segrate Themselves When Making Friends?

Question

I live in the north east of the united states and I live in an area that is culturally diversed. I often take my son to storytime and crafts at library and other places, where they have these events, so he can have social skills. I noticed that when I take him places, other parents of the same kind of culture/race/ethnicity or what have you, tend to migrate together, even when I try to befriend them. This is for all cultures/ethnicity not a specific kind of culture/ethnicity. I don't mind befriending my own kind but it seems harder to befriend other ethnicities, while I try to make an effort. I am not prejudice nor racist or dress weird and nor have B.O.
People subconsciously do this and do not realize. I am in an interracial marriage and our kid is mixed. So I don't see the problem here.
This happens alot and it is very annoying. I don't need responses where I'm befriending the wrong kinds of people and it's a numbers game, I already know that.
How would you handle this?

Answer 1

I know what you mean. It's kind of hard, but I have found that I have to speak first rather than waiting for everybody else. It just might be a habit for other people to migrate to similar looking or similar ethnicity because I guess they feel they have more to talk about. :/

People like me and you are ahead of the times, just waiting for everybody else to catch up.

Answer 2

People tend to form groups that are familiar and easy. Whether it be cliques in school or breed groups(we are all humans there are no races only evolved breed types). The only way to breech these groups is to find ways to disrupt the natural dislike of the unfamiliar most people have. Some can weave through society with ease, most just cant. As the parent of a mixed-breed(i know it sounds odd when speaking of a child) child you must simply work to ease these barriers aside, but be aware your child will have problems with fitting in throughout life. Also your comment about dressing weird IS prejudiced. After all even misfits gather together and often accept each other more readily than "norms". Beyond my observers advice I suggest you find a book or website about sociology.

Answer 3

I suppose you could just use the adage about "birds of a feather." It's unfortunate that some people don't feel comfortable crossing an unfamilar "barrier." I live in a mostly Latino area, and some of the women look at me like a crazy person when I even say hello to them. I'm getting to know a few of them around my son's kindergarten class, but it's very slow going.

I don't know how to approach it other than being my regular outgoing self. Good luck!

Answer 4

People tend to gravitate toward like types. It is comfortable and non-threatening. This is regardless of race but race certainly feels more comfortable with their own. Much as we would like to promote diversity, people are still going to want to be with more of their same. We just moved into a very high end community yet at the community parties we see that like types don't extend themselves outside of their comfort zone no matter how you approach them and try to interact. In our last home in Maryland, we were hearing that in the schools the kids were actually segregating themselves according to their background and race. Like everything else in life, all people tend to move along with those they feel more readily able to have similarities. And some peoples don't want to move outside of their circle. It's not something you can force just for political correctness or making yourself feel good. If your child is mixed, you will have to find ways to make sure he or she understands both their backgrounds but don't count on the outside world helping you along with that. It's obviously not going to be easy but explaining to your child the realities as they are ready will be helpful.

Answer 5

I would be insistent. People do this naturally, as you say, bit we subconciously gravitate to the things we know, like race. Neverthless, if you are friendly and persistent in chatting with others, they will eventually open up. It will take some work on your part, but once they open up it's likely they'll start returning the effort.

Answer 6

Well, I actually tend to socialize with mostyl everyone, but especially the white folks who aren't of hispanics descent, as me. I jus tend to have more in common with them, sinceI grew up here and not in Latine America.

Answer 7

Humans are pack animals. We have always gathered together in packs of our "own kind" for safety.