I keep calling my fiance stupid?

Question

I have bi polar and i am not on medicine. I am waiting to get in with the doctor right now to get back on meds... which isnt a good enough excuse for how I act at times, at least not to me. My fiance's name is Jeremy. Anyway. We have been together for 3 years.Here is my situation. When I ask him to please not do something he DOESN'T listen and it drives me insane. For example today I didnt know he was going to lock the door to our new house when we were leaving and I left the key in the house. So he tried to break in with his ID and get in there and he was messing up the door because he was using that and a butter knife to try to get in. So he didn't listen. I tried yelling, which he gets mad at me for too but I just feel so frustrated that I feel I have to because he isn't listening! So then I told him he is acting stupid and he got REALLY mad at me, he hates when I say that but I cant help it, I have said it so much that now I say it out of habit. I don't mean to, he just makes me SO

mad!!! i cant handle it

I just wish he would listen sometimes you know? It is my house too, why cant we make decisions together? He just doesnt include me in things, its like he has to do what he is doing and he cant take my thoughts into consideration. When it comes to things like that I mean, he is pretty good at other times when he is not doing something he has his mind totally set on, but i dont know. what do you think? do you think i am wrong for getting mad? he was always being an @ss toward me, but I was too... but i really cant handle anything right now, I cry over the littlest things, I feel violent. I am a big mess

Answer 1

It's easy to loose control in those kinds of situations, as a matter of fact it would be easy for me to loose my temper and I haven't been diagnosed as being bi-polar. Before you get your meds, you need to learn some relaxation techniques, and also come to the realization that you cannot control everyone and every situation. And just because someone doesn't do things the way you want them to does not make them stupid or any less of a person than you are. Honestly, I think you need time to yourself, to breathe, evaluate your personal life, and get some of that extra baggage off of your back because what it sounds like you are doing really is misplacing your anger. I'm sure your man loves you, and you love him, just take my advice and get some "me" time for at least an hour a day.

Answer 2

So I certainly have 2 areas to this. the 1st is this may well be the way he argues. while he feels that he can not win, he would attack you the place he thinks you would be susceptible. sometimes people do this- and it is not approximately love, it is only the way they found out to argue. the different persons on right here may well be good approximately couples and verbal exchange counseling. there is definitely a magnificent thank you to argue in case you prefer to maintain relationships. Attacking the situation and not the guy you have the situation with is critical. i'm hoping you have success convincing him that he could contain you to sessions. Now the 2d area: Has he continually stated this to you? sometimes, habit like this is an illustration of worse issues to return. You stated you like him, and that i'm particular he's familiar with this. i'm not accusing him of something, yet i presumed i might point out this to you as a cautionary observe. I certainly have had acquaintances interior the previous who've been with adult men who appeared stunning interior the beginning up. the adult men earned their love and believe and then slowly they began insulting them. not something enormous in the beginning up, only little feedback like 'you're so dumb' or 'you're so stupid' or 'this is so retarded, you at the instant are not even somebody to chat to approximately something severe or significant.' What the adult men have been doing replaced into attempting out them to be certain what my pal's limits have been. the girls might get mad, and then furnish up speaking to them. while the adult men found out they had long gone too some distance, they had ask for forgiveness profusely and my acquaintances might take them back. yet each and every time they took them back, the verbal abuse might get fairly worse and worse until eventually it replaced into finished blown abuse. In some circumstances while my acquaintances would not circulate away them, the adult men grew to become bodily violent. to not scare you or talk unwell of your fiance, yet I felt you may comprehend what i've got seen- only in case.

Answer 3

I was married to someone who was bipolar and trust me he will never do anything to your satisfaction. You do not know what it is you want or are frustrated about. Break off the engagement for his sake and especially yours. Get into intense therapy and medicine and become stable, otherwise it will fail. Look up the number of bipolar and borderline personality disorder marriages that end in divorce its close to 100%. Get some help and be stable then you two have a future. Good luck!

Answer 4

You might want to stop and think before you speak, so you are not saying things you don't mean to. When he is doing things that make you mad, stop and don't say anything, give yourself time to calm down before you say anything.