My daughter is 4 years old and likes to lay on the floor or couch and touch herself all the time? Is too much

Question

Thank you for your answers. I have talked to her about not allowing anyone else to touch her. That her vagina is her private area and only she should touch it. I have also told her she can tell me anything and if anyone else were to touch her that she was to tell me.

I have talked to her about doing it in private. That she shouldn't do it when anyone else is around. She does do it at her daycare during nap time and at home. If I catch her doing it any where else I remind her she should not do that when anyone else can see.

I did talk to her doctor about it today and he said it was normal. He said not to make a big deal about it or she will do it more, but I just wanted to ask the question. I believe we should trust our doctors but also get other opinions.

Answer 1

Children of this age are exploring. It's totally natural. My step-daughter was 5 when I married her father. She used to play with herself all the time. In the bed, in the bath, it didn't matter. She used dolls to play with also. It's human nature and they are just getting aquainted with themselves. Boys are even worse. My son has played with that thang since he was old enough to make it rise. Don't worry.

BTW: now is the time to have the talk with her about "WHO" should be allowed to touch her there, and who shouldn't. Also, you might want to tell her that she can do it all she wants to, but she should do it behind closed doors so that people don't see her.

Answer 2

I have been a child care provider in my home for 20 years plus I have 4 children of my own (now ages 28, 26, 22, and 10). It has been my experience that some children do touch themselves in their private area much more than others. I recently cared for a family with 3 girls. Their mother is a pediatric nurse practitioner. The middle daughter is now in 1st grade, but when she was 4, she also spent a great deal of time touching her private areas. I asked her mother about it and she said the daughter did it at home, too. Together we figured out that she did it most when she was tired and when she was watching TV. To be consistent, what we did was not draw attention to it, but suggest other activities that would keep her hands busy, such as read a book, draw a picture, play with the dress-up clothes and the play dishes, etc. At my house there were other children and I didn't want to embarrass her by saying something about the behavior. At home she had a very bossy, nosy older sister who showed little mercy and compassion for her younger sister, so mom and dad didn't say anything to her when that sister was within hearing, but simply suggested an alternative activity. Just like adults, children do it because it feels good, but for children it is not sexual in pleasure. Distraction works pretty well. It is normal and very common.

Answer 3

It is normal. After working in a day care for years I have become accustomed to it. Naptime is a favorite time for "play". All kids do it. Girls usually do it before boys. Maybe they are smarter and find it first :)
They grow out of it when they find a new part.

Answer 4

As much as you may feel uncomfortable with this, it is totally expected behavior. Just like she learned she had fingers and toes, she is learning that she has other parts of her body as well. She will eventually move on to something else.

Answer 5

the fact that she is in the lounge is more of a concern than touching herself all of the time. its your responsibility to teach her that touching is ok but needs to be done in private, say, at bedtime.

Answer 6

No it's not too much but please make sure she knows she must only do that in her bedroom and not in the livingroom..
and NOBOBY else must never do that to her..She will grow out of it.

and always make sure she has clean hands befor and after.

Answer 7

i dont think so, usually thats when they figure out they have parts and its normal. it differs from child to child, talk to your Ped if youre very concerned, or check this out.....

Answer 8

this is not a problem she's just exploring herself ,please don't make a big deal out of it because if you do she'll do it that much more . she's ok.

Answer 9

At 4 she is old enough to be taught that her hands are dirty and she can "hurt" herself there by playing with it too much. Besides that you should be teaching her that those are her privates and she shouldn't be touching them when other people can see her!