I give my 6 year old £1 pocket money each weekend. She likes to save it at the moment, to buy lego sets.
Her father (who is unintelligent) knows this, but still turns up here and gives her £5 or even £10 'to buy lego', quite regularly.
I have to keep giving it back to him, though he doesn't learn and buys her expensive lego sets on whims.
This is becoming yet another problem.
I think I should take the stuff he buys and put it away for xmas.
2007-10-05 10:56:24 · 17 answers · asked by Acai 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
jovi freak - just because some fathers don't show interest, doesn't mean I should sit back and let my kid's father do what he likes out of gratitude for him showing interest.
2007-10-05 11:08:08 · update #1
larry m - I agree with you actually. Only I'm not with him. He hit the road years ago,and he knows he can't come back. This woman isn't stupid.
2007-10-06 10:30:14 · update #2
Let him know that you certainly would much rather him put the money in a bank account for her for a rainy day and leave her to learn the value of money with you.
Corey-£1 is the symbol of the Pound Sterling, you numpty.
£1 is worth $2 at the mo-we're in the UK.
Show some respect. Do your homework. Don't ask questions like that thinking you're clever. You just make yourself look a tit.
2007-10-05 11:57:16 · answer #1 · answered by Loulla 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that all the lego in Lego land will not buy love or respect.
When i left my ex i saw my kids every weekend and made a point of not spoiling them and now with grandchildren the same rule applies I will not go to the shop and buy them sweets etc.
tell him your daughter will see him as a handout and expect a gift every time, buy her things yes but do not turn up with a present
2007-10-05 18:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to let go of some of the control. She's his daughter too. Let her save the money you give her and let him do what he wants. If it bothers you then perhaps you should talk to him and tell him that you would like to discuss the amount of money he gives her. That you're trying to teach her to budget and save, etc. But he really can do what he wants. As long as he isn't harming her and is being an emotionally available Dad... then you really should just suck it up and know that no everyone parents the same way. And you should just be happy that he's involved and being there for her.
2007-10-05 18:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Her father is visiting her quite regularly and when he does he is gives her some money to save for Lego? What is the problem with that? If he is her father he has as much right to give her money as you do. You give her pocket money, so why shouldn't he? Doesn't matter how much. Why should you give it back to him? Isn't that upsetting her? Why can't he buy her Lego if that is what she likes? I don't get it.
2007-10-05 18:17:29 · answer #4 · answered by marge 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Can't she take the lego sets from her dad & use the money u give her to buy something else? it seems like ur depriving her just to spite ur ex and thats not a good thing!
2007-10-05 19:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by Lola 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think people do not understand if i got this right, u trying to teach ur kid some rules, some life skills, like saving and so on, and yes i agree it is not nice if he comes and just says here u go is 10 £ for u, so all ur work is gone to the wind. but maybe he does not know or understand and giving his money back not enough u need to talk to him.
2007-10-05 18:13:38 · answer #6 · answered by silvi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is most likely doing this because he feels guilty about not spending as much time with her and he thinks he has to buy her love. Sit him down and let him know that buying her all these things is not necessary. Tell him that big toys should be saved for Christmas and birthdays, and that she is learning to save her money for things she really wants.
2007-10-05 18:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a guilt thing.
Whatever the reason for him not seeing her as often as he thinks he should, he makes up time by buying her things.
To be honest with you I think you should be grateful, a lot of dads that move out ( presuming he has? ) Don't hang around and don't want anything to do with the child.
You could save them for Xmas, but this could come back on you when the dad asks daughter where her Lego is.
This could cause more problems between him and you. ( For with-holding gifts he bought her. )
Instead of him buying Lego, because she is saving for it you could ask him to buy more constructive things, such as food, clothes, school equipment such as books, revision resources, a few computer games for spare time only or other toys she make like,
2007-10-05 18:10:29 · answer #8 · answered by SB 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think that alot of this answer depends on how good your relationship is with the father.
If you get on with him ok, maybe explain to him that ur trying to instill a sence of monetary value in his child, and that u dont object to him wanting to give her money, but maybe he can open a bank account, and put the money in there instead?
2007-10-06 16:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait a second, lemme get this straight...your daughter's father gifts her money for Lego things and you don't like it? You return the cash to him? You give them back because he's unitelligent? You call this a problem? This is a joke, right?
2007-10-05 20:25:01 · answer #10 · answered by TryItOnce 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋