To those who use "bad words" regularly: Do you think it's OK for children to use this language?

Question

I was having a discussion about children's books and the issue of swear words in them came up. I got thinking about children's books and people who use swear words around children. I'm especially curious to hear from those who regularly use "bad words."

Do you have a problem with children using this language?

Do you try to curb your language in front of children?

At what age do you think it would be OK for your children to use "bad language"?

What's the difference between you saying it and your children (or someone else's children)? It's not like it's drugs or alcohol that can harm those who lack discretion.

Thanks everyone for your great answers. For myself I agree with those who say that it's not appropriate to use in front of children and there's a lot of bratty kids out there. (I don't even have children and was raised never to swear, which I still see no reason for.)

But I was really interested in the thoughts of those who do swear and have children, especially the "I can but you can't." There's been a lot of really interesting answers. Thanks.

Answer 1

I think it's a bad habit for anyone to get into - it really reflects poorly on you... but most adults, at one point or another, do sweare. Most people do when they're extremely angry.
My husband and I cuss more than we should - and we have a 20 month old who's soon to be learning to talk - so we curb it in front of him. We also don't swear in front of older family members or people we don't know... only around our group of same-age friends.
I don't think it's okay for kids to swear, just because they don't understand the use of discrection like adults do. I also don't think that "bad words" have ever actually hurt anyone, and sometimes wonder who established them as bad words in the first place....
I think that if people are selective and discreet about using profanities, including filtering things on T.V. and in movies from their kids, their kids won't learn the words until their older. But they will eventually learn them, as curse words are everywhere and almost unavoidable unless all you do is sit home and watch Dora the Explorer or Blues Clues all day.
In summary, it isn't okay for kids to curse... as I said, only because they don't understand discretion and social situations enough to establish whether or not it's okay, on the same hand as those little white lies adults sometimes tell (if they run late to work, if they miss a meeting... people come up with little reasons why...) YET, we teach our kids not to lie. Why? Because they don't understand how to judge a situation well enough.
All in all, the reality of the world is that sometimes a curse word happens... sometimes a curse word is overheard... all you can do as a parent is try your hardest to filter these things away from your children until they're older.

Answer 2

Unless your child/children live in a cave far from society, they are going to hear the words no matter what we do (or don't do) to prevent it. While I think parenting has taken a wrong turn somewhere along the line, I would hope that parents still do not feel that children should be allowed to use any language they hear and want to use! Even if the parent uses some swear words. It still should be a matter of "Do as I say, not as I do." A parents' job is to raise up well rounded, stable, social children with moral's, ethics, compassion and with a sense of responsibility for their own actions. A parent has the obligation and responsibility to not only correct inappropriate behavior in their child/children, but to tell the child/children why this behavior is not acceptible.

I think too many parents are shirking their responsibilities to their children and to society these days. I see too many children lacking in discipline, rules, and correction that are creating scenes and disturbances in public places and the parents doing little about it. Or parents giving in to the childs' demands until the child gets a little older and thinks we all owe it. It just doesn't work that way.

Answer 3

I do try to curb my language in front of children. I mean...they don't know what it means, so they'll use it freely and accidentally offend people. That's not fair to the general public OR to the kids. I don't think it's ever "okay," for ANYONE to use such language. It's unnecessary and it may give a false impression (i.e. people think you're a bad person because you swear, but you're actually very nice). There are better ways to express emotion. As for the difference between me saying it and a child saying it...the difference is that I know what the words mean and the child most likely doesn't. The consequence for using bad words too much is certain people thinking poorly of you.

Answer 4

I'm one of the "I can but you can't"s Cleoppa.

I do try to curb my language around my son (he's 15 now) He's never tried to swear around me, hasn't asked me (yet) why I can and he can't.

I also talk to him wrt sex, drugs, etc. using correct terminology. When he asked me about something he saw and I knew it was a condom (his father told him it was a lollipop) I "happened to find one" in my room, pulled it out, and I put it over a broomstick to show him how it was used. I told him the reason why I was doing all this was (as I threw the condom on the floor) because someday he would see one of those <-- on the ground and wouldn't touch it now.

I did the same thing with a tampon.

Anyways, he knows mom sometimes loses her temper and swears, but mom is also a straight shooter and will give him an honest answer when he asks for one.

FWIW.

Answer 5

I don't think it's okay to use this language around children and I think parents should try very hard not to. I agree it's not the worst thing they could do however I find it very rude and disrespectful. I think the "right" age this language can be used is when my daughter is old enough to live on her own not under my roof. Even then I would hope I raised her right and she would try to be respectful and not use this type of language in my home or around me.

Answer 6

I curse a lot, and I'm not proud of it. I do definitely curb my language around other peoples kids and in public in general. I would never want to offend anyone. I don't curse at my kids but I do curse in front of my kids. I don't use foul language, I use curse words like ohh sh*t, d**n it, son of a b***h, and the occasional F**K, but I dont use words like d**k, c**t, p***y, sl*t, I dont find the need. And I do not let my kids curse and I did not curse until I was 16. I believe that it looks really trashy and it is definitly something I am working on.

Answer 7

OMG i couldnt help but click on this question! I feel like too many kids are swearing now! I know 2 11 year olds who swear! Im actually 13 and i dont swear. Thats why im always so confuzzled when i hear younger kids swearing. My friend swears too now. I think the age to be OK to swear would be 15 but i dont really know. Also im just throwing this in but my parents ALWAYS swear aroud me! Like we have a video of when i was 5 and my mom was walking to get something from the kitchen and she tripped and yelled s***!!! f***ing desk! Im proud of myself for going throught this but still no swear comes from my mouth :D

Answer 8

I hate to hear kids use swear words. It's bad enough that we use them as adults, and I'm just as bad as anyone, but I try incredibly hard not to curse in front of my step-kids or even in public if I notice children near by. I know that they are subjected to it all the time, thru media and at school, but I do not think it is ok for them to use. My 14 yr old is bad about it when he plays his video games and we always get onto him for it, but how can you blame him when his father does it? I correct my husband all the time about cussing in front of his kids. I want my kids to learn to use constructive words to express their anger or dislike instead of spouting curse words that really make you sound dumb, but chances of that are pretty slim in this society. I would think that swear words would be left out of children's books and TV/Movies, but I guess society is really desensitized to the impact it can have on kids.

Answer 9

I think when used properly, that is in proper context without excessive frequency, anyone can use "bad language."

My girlfriend's daughters have heard us swear, but know that it's the exception and not part of our everyday language. If they were to use the same words at an appropriate time, I probably wouldn't say anything to them about it.

Answer 10

yes i have a problem with children swearing
yes I curb my language in front of children
18 would be an ok time for them to speak however they want, because then it reflects on them, not on thier parents and thier upbringing.
the difference between adults swearing and children swearing is that the child is going to teach those words to other children, while an adult who swears isn't going to persuade anyone else to swear.