I'm getting married early next year and we do not plan on having any children at our wedding with the exception of our 4 year old flowergirl. I'm not being mean about it or anything, I just don't want to have any babies crying during the ceremony or any children talking too loud. Plus, we have to pay full price at the reception for children. I've very tactfully spread that word that it's an adults only wedding, and truthfully I've had a few people really put off with me about it, even though we're providing child care during the events.
I was wondering how other people felt about this. Would you be offended if you got an invitation with just you and your spouse's name on it and not your children's? Has anyone had any bad experiences with children at their own wedding? For example, when you played back the wedding video and it picked up every bit of that fussy baby in the 10th row?
By the way, I do love children...just not at weddings or funerals!
2007-10-05 09:16:55 · 52 answers · asked by Road Again 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Would I be offended???
Absolutely NOT! When did kids become entitled to all the rights and privileges of adulthood.
I am a mother of 2, and there is NO WAY I would be offended at an adult-only wedding.
The only time I'd be offended is if there were some kids, but not others (and I don't mean children in the wedding party),
You are going ABOVE and BEYOND by offering childcare. GOOD FOR YOU. I've never had that offered when I've been invited to no-kids weddings.
My wedding invitations said "Adult-only reception to follow" to make it clear. It was a formal sit down table service reception. Not kid friendly. Some people have more kid friendly receptions - good for them. Let them. That's their deal.
And unless it is family, I don't bring my kids, even if they are invited as well. They don't NEED to go.
It's YOUR day and unless you are prepared/able to accommodate for children by offering kid friendly meals, activities, etc., I think it is BEST to NOT include them. You are CLEARLY looking out for your guest's AND yours best interests.
People need to get over the fact that they think that their children are little angles and should be allowed to come and do whatever adults to.
Whatever Hippy-dippy notions people have about a "beautiful moment" that "kids should be able to witness" - let them renew THEIR vows and let their kids WATCH THAT if it is THAT important to them.
My children are the MOST IMPORTANT thing in my life, but they ARE NOT the ONLY thing in my life. I often welcome a chance to be a grown up and not mommy.
Otherwise, stay out of other people's plans. These are the same people that take their kids to restaurants that aren't kid friendly.
GOOD FOR YOU!
2007-10-05 09:59:57 · answer #1 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 10⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's horrible to have children at a wedding, but it depends on the bride and groom and what they want. I had my 3 year old daughter there and one other child that was about a year old. Now my daughter was the flower girl, but she didn't sit still through the whole ceremony. In our video your can hear her little heals running around the floor and she even runs up and between my husband and I and grabbed on my dress. But to me it was very cute to an extent. It got annoying, but it was my daughter and she was life of the ceremony. She kept everyone happy and laughing. Now if you pay full price for the food and have kids there see if the parents can take the left overs from their children home so the food is not a waste. If you don't want kids there then I don't think anyone should be offened by that. More and more people are not allowing children under the age of 16 at their weddings anymore. I can remember most wedding my parents were invited to did not include me and my little sisters cause people didn't want children running around there. And some have open bars and that is why they want adults only as well. It is totaly up to the bride and groom and you should do what is right for you and your soon to be husband/wife. It's putting the wedding together and paying for most of it I'm sure you guys decide and don't let other people bring you down cause they don't like your decision. Do what's right for the bride and groom only. It's your big day so you should do whatever you want to make it as special as you can. Good Luck and I hope you have a wonderful wedding!
2007-10-05 09:27:24 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't have any children of my own so I can't say if this would/would not offend me. Personally, I had about 15 kids under the age of 10 at my wedding and they were awesome. They loved the band and the food and pretty much had a fabulous time. I wouldn't have thought of not inviting any of them. I really feel they added so much to my wedding...it was a family affair, not just an adult affair. They were all very well behaved as well (and this was a black-tie event) no screams during the ceremony or tantrums during the reception either. Honestly though, I would respect the bride and grooms wishes to have an adults only wedding, in the end you are the ones paying for it!
2007-10-05 10:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With or without children. That's the question. Honey, it's your choice, and yes, some parents are going to be upset and may not come to the wedding if you don't invite their offspring. Those are the ones that children will be "show" not you and your groom.
I seen pouting, crying, screaming, and even a full blown-down on the aisle fits at weddings. But I have also seen well behaved little angels that wanted to share the big day with their aunt & uncles. Sorry, to say this, but I think the criers and screamers out number the well behaved children. That's a long time for children to be quiet and still.
You are providing babysitting for your events is more than generous, and if I was invited, I would love the opportunity to enjoy your cermoney without "Momma" being said everytime I turned around. So, hopefully the ones invite will understand this is your most important day, and that you just want everything to be perfect, and the chances of something going wrong with children pushes the odds against you.
God bless you.....
2007-10-05 09:56:52 · answer #4 · answered by totallylost 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it's absolutely appropriate. Some weddings are extra formal than others and kids might be most likely beside the point. Children hardly ever experience those parties, and plenty of a marriage ceremony with kids in attendance is stuffed with tantrums and kids who require being the centre of awareness whilst it is anyone else's day to be the centre of awareness. And every now and then, they are a distraction, an overly loud and disturbing one. I strongly pick attending grownup-handiest receptions. Let's additionally don't forget the top fee of a marriage ceremony and what sort of the complete fee raises whilst kids are invited. Having a big household with a big quantity of small children is much more motive not to have kids on the marriage ceremony, they might take over the day and the fee might be astronomical. There isn't any motive mother and father are not able to get a sitter for someday, it will have to be understood that you're going to need to every so often whilst you opt for to have kids.
2016-09-05 18:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did the EXACT same thing at my wedding. We had a 3 year old as our flower girl and no other children.
Our theme was a Party - not a religious ceremony - It was a celebration of two becoming one As Adults. It was an amazing party and very inappropriate for children, a lot of drinking and dancing and many chances for little ones to get hurt.
There was only one parent (not their spouse) who felt offended but we explained that it was not an appropriate venue for children. It was an evening event and not fair to everyone else.
Sometimes Adults need time with other Adults and a wedding is a great place to do this.
I didn't even see our flower girl after she walked down the aisle. She had a personal babysitter and her own side room where she spent the night (and slept!)
I say it's your wedding and your money - you do what you want and not what other people want. If you spent all your time making everyone else happy, it wouldn't be YOUR wedding.
Best of luck!
2007-10-05 13:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
To each their own. Who cares? If I couldn't bring my kid, I wouldn't. If I could, I would. It all depends on the type of wedding. If your guests can't seem to get that through their head, then maybe they should stay at home with their kids.
I have been to a few weddings that didn't seem appropriate for children, but most weddings are appropriate for children because they're all about celebrating with the entire family, which for most people, includes kids.
We're having kids at our wedding (around 15 of them) and it's going to be great. We look forward to it, so there is no problem.
If kids are expected, the bride and groom, just like any decent host, will accomodate with a kids table and food, so I have never had a bad experience with kids at a wedding. Kids who can't behave in public shouldn't be invited to anything and luckily I don't know any of these kids. And by the way, our friends and family have enough sense to remove their crying baby from the room if necessary.
2007-10-05 10:05:02 · answer #7 · answered by Peace 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are going above and beyond by offering childcare-it's a way to appease everybody so that the adults can come, but the kids will be taken care of. What is your age cutoff? I know that some people say under 18, no-go. However people who are in that 12-17 range are too old for babysitting, so keep that in mind. Other people will say 16, still others will say 13.
Personally, I would have 13 and up. At that age, they can sit still for a good amount of time, they can look put-together, and they are learning ettiquite for the formal situations like that. I don't plan on having any kids of my own, but if I did I would NOT be offended.
2007-10-05 12:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by Trista 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with you on this sorry to those who cant see it but Children do not belong at weddings. We are also not having any children at the wedding but ring bear and flower girl. Every one who has children understands.
You are not having picnic, a family BBQ, there will be no bouncer or area for them to run around in. Your are having a very special once in a life time, quite, joyful, formal wedding. Most children do not understand what no means let alone to stay still and quite.
I have an aunt who is taking two weeks vacation to come out an visit before the wedding and after. she lives in OK and I live in CA she has almost one year old so I will be hiring a babysitter for her but that is it. If any one else brings little Susy they will have to pay the babysitter $50 a head for there kids to stay or they can take them home.
I have seen children at a wedding, they run around, try to hide under the bride dress when be chased by ther parents (seen it at every wedding there has been kids) there cute for a little bit but then, it becomes rude and annoying to not only you but your guest. I have left due to parents not watching there children and letting them run losse. They cry when they don't get there way. The only good children I have ever seen is infants the sleep most of the time.
I agree. If your guest really want to come finding a babysitter, is no problems or questions asked.(most parents enjoy taking the night off to be part of a special event) Those who have the nerve to say something are rude and should of never been invited to join you on such a special day.
Good luck and best wishes to you on your special day.
I was reading some of the answers you were given and I have to say I am impressed by those who say if my child cant come I wont. It is your own fault your children are not invited.
We are not haveing children and it is not the kids fault, there not welcomed it is there parents fault. If more parents gave there children disapline and thought them respect and to mind ( like my parents did) Children wouldnt be the issue. Parents I am sorry I have seen your kids run loose in stores, in a restraunt, or even worse visiting at friends and family homes and acting like animals. Why because you let them and never taught them any better. It is completely your fault. For those who do have well behaved children sorry but there are way to many bad parents now days. As the rule goes if you invite one you have to invite them all.
2007-10-05 10:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by typicalcagirl 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think children 5 and older can handle a wedding. But it all depends on the child and how well they can sit still during things like that. I don't have children, but if I did, I might be a little put off. Babies shouldn't be allowed though because, as you pointed out, they cry and make a fuss. But children of an age where they know how to be quiet are ok.
2007-10-05 09:22:07 · answer #10 · answered by camm300 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋