Americans, if you get invited to a party with friends and family who are not originally American would you?

Question

Get offended or have a bad time if much of the evening transcurred in another language than English?The party is in USA. We are having a Christmas gathering with our family, part living in USA (all USA citizens in case you were wondering) and part coming from our old country. We would mostly be speaking our language. We want to invite a dear friend but are worried he might not have a good time because he might not understand all that we are saying. Some people would speak to him in English too but you can say 70% of the evening will happen in another language. Should we rather not invite him?

Ther would be just one more English only speaker, my husband. The rest except my mom are bilingual, so I can't imagine NOBODY would speak to him at all.

Answer 1

Invite him. Although another language will be spoken, he might have a wonderful time. It reminds me of my cousins' mother-in-law that was visiting here in the U.S. She did not speak a word of English, and only her daughter could translate. But, we had a wonderful visit, laughing as we found ways to communicate through hand gestures and a few translated phrases. We actually spent a good deal of time pointing to different objects and saying the name for it in our respective languages, and laughing the whole time. Some things, like kindness and basic communication, can transcend language.

Answer 2

INVITE HIM

A "dear friend" would have an idea that the people would be speaking more than one language. He will understand the situation and can decide if he wants to come and for how long he will stay. Your family could help him by keeping the language barrier in mind during the event and have someone there that can talk to him and/or translate some of the conversation for him to keep him involved.

Answer 3

if I was invited to a party where I had people talking to me in another language I didn't understand, I would be confused. Not offended though... I would probably be afraid to offend the other person by continually saying, "I don't understand what you're talking about".

Ask your friend their opinion. Explain that you are afraid he may feel accidentally excluded, because he's not adept at speaking your family's foreign tongue.

Maybe you could have the party with your family and then do something individually with your friend the next day? Or are you that eager for your friend to meet your family?

Answer 4

I go to plenty of parties where people speak different, languages; Persian, Cambodian, Spanish but I always have a good time because there are always some people that speak English besides nobody can listen to everything that is being said at the same time even in ones own language.

Answer 5

Last Thanksgiving, our home was filled with people speaking several different languages. The complement of people were American citizens, a naturalized citizen from Mexico (step-daughter-in-law), a French-born seeking citizenship (daughter-in-law), as well as students from Belize, El Salvador, Nigeria and France. My uncle, a full-blood Choctaw, had a great time teaching the lovely young girl from Belize a few Choctaw words. We all had a great time.
So invite your friend, he may enjoy picking up a few phrases in your family's native language.

Answer 6

If he's a good friend, he'll want to be there and you guys, at least some, will either speak in English or translate. My in-laws, especially my mother-in-law, speak Spanish most of the time with my husband even when I'm present. I don't understand it enough to have a decent conversation. Often they will stop and speak in English or my father-in-law will translate. Even my mil, who is still kind of shy about her English even though it's very good, will speak in English. We manage because we're family and "dear friends" are like family.

Answer 7

I would still invite them. Just let them know that a lot of the conversation at the party will be in another language. That way your friend can make their own decision whether or not to come. Just don't take it personally if they decide not to. A lot of people would feel uncomfortable in that situation.

Answer 8

You should make sure there are enough people willing to translate that he won't feel left out, and sensitive to the fact that he needs translation, or can't join in.

Otherwise, give him an excuse ready made to get out of it so he doesn't have to offend you. On the other hand, if he's mostly going to be hanging out with those who will be speaking his language, you should let him make up his own mind. You might explain the situation, though.

Speaking in front of someone in a language you know they don't know is pretty rude, when you do know their language.

On the other hand, my brother in law knows we (except my sister, his wife) don't know Spanish, and we make do. We aren't going to cut him out of family gatherings just because we can't communicate as well as we would like.

Answer 9

It depends on the friend. You have to gauge how he would do. Does he know any of your language? Would someone make an effort to speak in English with him. I wouldn't worry so much about him feeling offended as about him feeling left out.

Answer 10

I don't think it will be a big deal. If most of the people are family who haven't gotten together in a while, your guest will most likely assume that the majority of conversation will revolve around family situations - regardless of what language it is in. I have been to family events where I had no idea what people were talking about - I knew the language, but I didn't know the extended family well enough to follow all the stories....