me and my man have been together 7months now and im 5months pregnant we live together and i love him alot and i have a daughter that is 2 and he wants to adopt and we are engaged to get married and i wonder if sometimes he just wants to be with me because i cook for him everymeal everyday and if its sex or if its because im 19 and he is 29? but i love him and still want to marry him just wonder is the feeling mutual and even though he says it is i been hurt alot and sometimes wonder!
2007-10-05 08:25:01 · 8 answers · asked by Lala*rogers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
oh and its not the issue of me being dependent on him or the age thing and he asked me to marry him and seems really adament on being with me just i get worried because i have been hurt alot and i dont thing the age is a probablem
2007-10-05 12:13:48 · update #1
I am not trying to be rude................
How would we, on YA, know if this man wants to marry you or not based on what you told us. It sounds to me that you are not mature enough for marriage, because if you were, you wouldn't feel a need to ask such a question on here.
2007-10-05 08:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by CJ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let's take the babies out of the picture: You are only 19 years old and dating a guy for 7 months. That's not a long enough courtship period to know whether you're compatible. Also, and not to be mean, but the fact you got pregnant with your second child at age 19 with a guy you only dated 2 months, does not speak highly of your maturity. Now you're putting yourself in a situation of quickly marrying a "baby daddy" rather than working on your college education and career. You are likely financially dependent on your boyfriend, and would have a tough time leaving him if you wanted to.
Also, I thought the "borderline pedophile" comment above may be right on the money. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy leaves you when you're in your 20s or 30s for a teenager.
2007-10-05 18:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Undoubtedly a man wants to be with a woman because of sex. You are 19, pregnant with your 2nd child 2 months after you met him and he is 29.... You are so young that a man that much older than you sounds like a borderline pedophile to me. It also sounds like you're not sure of yourself let alone your relaitonship. At 19 anything can seem like love. Don't confuse security for the lil' ones with love. Give it time. Meanwhile get yourself in a position (school?) where you can take care of yourself and your two babes if you need to.
I'd be really careful and ready to run on a moment's notice. Don't let him manipulate you, and don't force him to get married. If you are engaged, you two should be setting a date, making plans and singing "Goin' to the chappel and we're gonna get married...".
2007-10-05 17:08:56 · answer #3 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but in reading your question, you sound way to immature to even consider getting married. The fact that you've been pregnant for nearly your entire relationship does not bode well either. It sounds like you are just needing a baby daddy to take care of you and your kids. I predict this relationship to end in divorce in the near future should you two actually marry. What you really need to do (and should have done before having kids) is find find comfort and be happy with yourself before you can truly find that with someone else.
2007-10-05 15:44:55 · answer #4 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, of course you should discuss your doubts with him, only he will be able to tell you what's going on, but to be honest, he would go to great length living with you, as it sounds providing for you and your daughter, who isn't even his and wanting to marry you just for sex and a good meal every day. If he was just with you for the reasons you mentioned, he wouldn't live with you, just visit you to get his meals and the sex and leave again. Probably he wouldn't even be with you any more since you're pregnant but rather look for a more convenient lover; and he definitely wouldn't want to adopt your daughter.. You should feel lucky to have a guy like him, he sounds really genuine..
2007-10-05 17:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not to be rude, but it sounds to me like you are 5 months pregant, 19, and not so sure about YOURSELF not so much your relationship. If he wants to be with you, its because he LOVES you!! You will soon have a wonderful beautiful family! Dont worry so much, its not good for the baby or you! In the end, its sounds like to me, that you have a wonderful older man that is willing to make and have a family with you....good luck babe!
2007-10-05 15:36:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jill Michelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only person you can discuss getting married with is him. We would have no idea what his intentions are. However, if you aren't making active plans to get engaged or married honestly honey I wouldn't expect he's gung-ho about it.
Be careful and be sure you have a way to support your kids yourself if you have to.
2007-10-05 15:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by Meredith 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would like to tell you to love this man who wants to adopt your daughter and have a family with you... dont question it
i think from what you have said.... he has proved his love
2007-10-05 16:01:50 · answer #8 · answered by sport 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋