Last night our friends invited us to a birthday party for their seven year old son, that was being held at a pizza/video arcade. He brought a girl his age along with him, whose parents my wife and I have never met.
While playing pool, I had noticed that someone had left a trinket girls ring on the table, and they never came back to claim it. Since I did not know the girl, or her parents, who was with us, I called the father aside, handed him the ring, and told him why I thought it would be best that the gift come from either his son or he and his wife. Without hesitation he said, "No that's O.K., you give it to her." and called her over, against my pleas. He then told the girl I had a present for her, and, even though I felt extremely uneasy about it, I handed her the ring.
We got into a big argument afterwards. They think we overreacted, we feel you can never be to careful when it comes to children. Parents, I would really like your opinion about this issue.
2007-10-05 06:34:07 · 11 answers · asked by rhino 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To clarify some things that my orignal post. First off, the ring was a cheap trinket someone had won out of a claw machine and left on the table. (Similar to what you would win out of a gumball machine). It was not a valuable keepsake. That is why I did not turn it in. I thought it would be a nice, "thank you for coming to my party" token from either our friends' son, or the couple themselves. I had no idea he would put me on the spot like he did, and would have just thrown it in the trash had I suspected he would have. Thirdly, how could I have said no when the girl was promised a surprise by the ones who had invited her? How do I explain to a six year old I don't know that I don't feel right about giving her something that was supposed to come from someone else?
2007-10-05 14:13:40 · update #1
A couple more details. The girl was not the daughter of my friend. Like I said in the orignial question, she was a friend of his son, and neither my wife nor myself have ever met either of her parents. Secondly, we did not fight in front of the kids. The argument ensued when we had gotten home, and his son had been sent to bed.
As far as turning the ring in, again, let me say it was a cheap token claw machine item, that not even a Dollar Store would have bothered to have for sale. Had it any value, I would have turned it in at the front desk.
My point is that I was trying to be tactful, and, at the same time, allow my friend's son to do something nice for his guest. Parents always tell their kids not to take gifts from strangers. Not only did I not want it to appear to be strange to her parents when she brought the ring home, but I also did not want her to feel funny about accepting a gift from a stranger, even if her friend's daddy said it was O.K.
2007-10-06 06:59:20 · update #2
Very childish behavior for an adult parent, to state the least.
He should have taken it and just given it to her himself. Very stupid behavior and certainly, not worth an argument. That said, I wouldn't allow a stranger to "force" me to do anything. Good grief!
Grace
2007-10-05 06:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by bunnyONE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tend to agree with you. In a better world it would seem like a rather benign thing to do, but not in this day and age.
It can be rather dangerous to teach a child that age that it is OK to accept a gift from a total, (or even a somewhat of a ) stranger, & I think it was quite wreckless of your male friend to do that. In addition I think it was also inconsiderate that he just blundered ahead when you offered an objection.
Does he have so little respect for you that he won't even listen to what you have to say, so that he can stop & think before he goes ahead & does something like that?
On the other hand, what was done was done. For whatever harm to the child that may come from this, the seed(s) have already been planted. So once it was already established that this thoughtless man fails to acknowledge his carelessness, then I don't see what good it would do to continue in a heated arguement over it.
Perhaps, instead of arguing (potentially in front of the kids) about it. Wouldn't it have been better to express your thoughts on it, & allow the man to mull it over in his mind?
Just a thought, but I do agree that he was wrong to do that.
2007-10-05 06:58:04 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I understand what happened. You found a random ring and then wanted to give it to the girl for a gift? Why didn't you bring a gift? Or why didn't the people who invited you bring a gift? I would have turned the ring in. Some other girl may have lost it and was looking for it.
2007-10-05 06:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by patience 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This isn't very clear and I am not sure I understand the issue.
Bottom line, don't let anyone bully you into anything you feel is inappropriate. I would have clarified the situation with the girl and let my friend know that I didn't appreciate being put in that position.
It doesn't matter if your friends thinks you over reacted or not, it is your feeling and that is all that matters. He doesn't have to agree.
2007-10-05 07:18:32 · answer #4 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to be cautious, but you asked the girls father and he had no problem with you giving his daughter a small trinket. You did it in view of other people including her parents. It is not as if he asked you to go to the bathroom with her. I do think you are over reacting at this point. I try to teach my daughter to be wary of strangers, not terrified to the point of not talking to friends of my friends.
2007-10-05 06:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by shellybellycocoapuff 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand this story.
Someone left something behind, and you wanted it given to this girl?
I also don't understand WHY you thought other people should give it to her.
Nor do I understand why you were uneasy.
Overreacted to what? In what way?
Be careful about what? YOU'RE the one who wanted it given to her, even though it belonged to someone else.
Your story and your questions make no sense.
The proper thing to do would be to give it to staff, in case the true owners came back for it.
2007-10-05 09:59:01 · answer #6 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your overreacting. If the father said it was ok for you to give it to her than leave it at that. The seven year old probobly didn't think anything about it. You will probobly not see or have any relations with them any way.
2007-10-05 07:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by liliana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That ring was not yours or anyone elses to give. It belonged to someone else who lost it or forgot it. You should of turned it into the owner, or employee at the business.
2007-10-05 07:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by Kathy W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you turn it into the facility in case someone came back for it? It was not yours to give away.
2007-10-05 06:38:46 · answer #9 · answered by jen 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
u r a very senstive and caring person but not all ppl r like that so plz take it easy on urself
2007-10-07 07:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋