He tells me she will always come first. He enables her drug use and when he buys me anything he has to spend the same amount of money on her or she will go nuts.
2007-10-05 06:08:05 · 12 answers · asked by V 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Drug user or not she is his daughter. I doubt he encourages her to use drugs. Unless he uses them himself. The girl is 20. He can't control what she does. If you don't want to be with a man that puts his child before others. Perhaps you shouldn't be involved with him. If I were in your shoes I would just leave him. Because I would not ask a man to decide between me and his own child. Nor would I tolerate a guy asking that of me.
2007-10-05 06:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Roberta this is his daughter and has been with him throughout and sounds like she is very much still a daddy's girl. So yes I do believe that she should come first in his life, especially if she has issues like you mentioned. But she should be mature enough at 20 years old to not get jealous because he buys you something special. Fact of life is that this girl was born of his seed and feels responsible. If he were to drop her and let her live without any contact from him you and/or others would cuss the guy then and say how irresponsible he was being. So it sounds as if he is in a kind of no win situation., Hopefully his daughter will clean up her live and then perhaps the three of you will enjoy each others company. Best of luck and maybe you and this fella should have a talk so you can let him know how you've been feeling.
2007-10-05 06:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no matter what he made a choice to have children and its a life long responsibility no matter his age he is always going to do right by his daughter or in this case what he is thinking is right as parents you make mistakes but eventually you learn what you are doing isn't working and you take a different avenue,I do however believe that he probably is thinking that he is helping her or maybe he is trying to make up for something either way if you have already shared how you feel about this then maybe you should move on and leave it before she spins out of control like she will and makes matters worse ,try to find a guy that wants you and him not you ,him and his daughter its an unhealthy relationship and needs to get help or move on take care!
2007-10-05 06:22:35 · answer #3 · answered by mylittlemonkeysmail 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are having yes - I don't suggest it. Don't want to go to jail right. When I was 18 I started dating a 31 year old man and we're still together 1.5 yrs later, so the age difference in plain terms is not weird whatsoever. When I was 16, my head was in SUCH a different place than now (at 20), so if you hope to stay with this girl expect that she's going to start learning some lessons and becoming a different person (probably).
2016-05-17 04:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask him to pick between you and his daughter. Yea, he may be enabling her, but that is his doing. You will never break the bond between them and shouldn't let it bother you. If it does bother you, then you need to find a new man.
I would never date anyone who wanted to come between me and my children. They come first, always have, always will. I also wouldn't put up with drug use and jealousy from them. They need to respect the person I am with as well.
2007-10-05 06:12:34 · answer #5 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's his daughter, your'e his woman...total different ballgame. He feels indebted to her and more and likely feels guilty for what she has become, which he shouldn't...but it does prove that your man has a heart. So many parents might have just washed their hands of a child (adult child) like her. She is only twenty, so she still has chances to get her life straight and he wants to be there in share in that moment if it happens. His devotion is to be commended. Now, for you little lady, you must choose. His daughter is obviously jealous of you . Have you tried to be more in her life or is that something that can't be managed at this time? I feel for you and do understand your dilemma. Been there of sorts myself.
2007-10-05 06:18:17 · answer #6 · answered by zen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to break it to ya, but if a dad and his daughter are close, you're not getting in between that. father daughter relationships can be some of the strongest.
2007-10-05 06:12:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him as you will never have his heart. His daughter is now an adult and if he is enabling her he is part of the problem.
2007-10-05 06:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move on!! Usually kids do come first but, in this case you need to find someone else.
2007-10-05 06:13:11 · answer #9 · answered by jack_black_91 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves his child and doesn't understand that he is encouraging this behaviour in her.
suggest the three of you go to counselling together.
2007-10-05 06:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋