I am so excited I will be a MOM! However, I feel my family will not be so excited for me. My mother mentioned to me how she felt about her other grandchild. She told me since she only sees her once a month she does not feel close to her at all. She knows I have been going to a fertility clinic and that I am living overseas. It really hurt me. Also, my other family members almost did not include us in her surprise birthday party until the very end. They never told us how it turned out. Nothing! They make comments about our living here being a 'vacation'. They have never called once since I have moved here 6 months ago. However, my mother and one brother has written me a few times. My husband has mentioned to me they seem very selfish and want me to do for them only. He told me I need to move on since they will never be 'happy' for me. I feel very sad that I can't share my life ups and downs with my family.
2007-10-05 05:56:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, and even if they do not share your happiness, you are happy right ? You cant live for your family, you have to live for yourself. Congragulations !
2007-10-05 06:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by sprng4ward 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Valpal I think that you should share this important into. How they handle it or their amount of excitement although would be nice in the long run as long as you and your husband are happy about it is all that really matters. Doesn't sound like you and your clan are that close and you are aware of it. So if they don't show any emotions as most people would then to hell with them. If they are there for you when you can do something for them and at no other time I would have to agree with your man and advice you to move on. Life is short and hopefully before it is too late they will see this also and want to include you in all family events and want to be involved in your special moments also. Congrats and best luck.
2007-10-05 06:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can share with your family as much as you want to. The only thing you can't control is their reaction.
Personally, I would expect that there would be a great deal of joy at the news, but if they choose to be less than enthusiastic, then that's their problem. Isn't it?
You didn't supply all the details, but it sounds to me like you & your husband are living a "dream life" somewhere in a tropical paradise or something similar. Instead of being happy for you, your family DOES seem to be thinking only about themselves, & only about how THEY are affected by you living so far away.
If it's at all possible, I suggest that you & your mom each get webcams, & learn how to use them. If she can't enjoy personal visits, then maybe she would be a little happier if she had access to her grandchildren through virtual ones.
To summarise, it sounds like you come from a controlling family. You want to control your families reaction to your new life abroad, & your family wants to guilt you into comming home to them.
Someone has to break the chain here. Either you become more accepting of the idea that your family isn't on board with you living away from them, or they learn to accept that you choose to live in a place where you can find as much happiness as possible.
It would be even better if it were both ways, but not likely. ;-)
2007-10-05 06:19:13 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is very wise. You are wishing for something that cannot be. Your family seems very self focused. It really doesnt matter how you tell them so dont worry about it. But DO concentrate on your relationship with your husband. He is your priority and soon your child( children) will be. That is where you are in life now so I do hope you are able to break away from your former family. Stop thinking about how hurt you are/were and put that energy where it belongs or you will lose your husband.
2007-10-05 06:39:07 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congradulations!!!!! By all means tell you family as soon as possible, I am sure they will be happy for you. Maybe this will be the turning point in your relationship with them. Babies always have a way of bring people together. Even if you do live overseas, still include them in your everyday life, by sending videos and pictures, telephone calls, you dont have to be excluded fromeach others lives. Good LUck!!!!
2007-10-05 07:00:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should tell your family you are pregnant. And, it is very sad that your family is so judgmental of you. Try to include your mother even though you are overseas. Send her videos of the baby. Invite her to visit you after the baby comes. If she visits, take pictures and videos of her with her grandchild so that she can take them home and show them to her friends. Try to think of it that your mother wants to feel close to her grandchild, and feels a loss not to be part of the grandchild's everyday life; therefore, think of ways to help make grandma feel close and needed by her new grandchild.
2007-10-05 06:03:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
one thing u need to get straight u will never make ur parents happy is just a fact and they get over it (eventually).. now u must focus on being a mom,who cares what they think as long as you and ur husband are their for each other and for your child thats what matters ( by the way congrats!!!). But in other way you should let them know so they wont feel all butt hurt and all then rub it on ur face. Your parents had a job when you lived under their roof that was to feed,cloth you, give you a roof, and love. Now their job is done....now is ur turn but with your own rules!
sorry if i sound rough..?
Best Wishes....
Diana
2007-10-05 06:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by lovegemini89 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all congrats!! It's great that you are going to become a mother. About your family you should tell them and let them know the great news and make sure they know how happy you are abou the news. If they take it bad that will be their loss you and your husband are a family now. They will come along in the longrun. Take care and Congrats again!!!
2007-10-05 06:06:07 · answer #8 · answered by bnm0044 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its unfortunately that your mother isn't more suportive and said those things. But if it makes you and your husband happy thats what matters! it's your life and your child. If you want to attempt to make your mother happier about it, tell her your having a baby and when it's born, send lots of pictures, make home videos and mail them to her. That might make her feel more involved. Fly home once or twice a year if you can afford to do so. Make an effort and if that fails with your mother then your husband isright and you should move on!
2007-10-05 06:03:01 · answer #9 · answered by lindsay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and inform them about your blessing anyway; how they respond is up to them. We all have myopic family members for one reason or another (in fact, I think that's the case to teach us something significant). This is still terrific news nonetheless. Congratulations on the pending birth, and God bless. Families wake up to certain realities slowly at times, but they usually get around to it just the same...but a blessing's a blessing at all times.
2007-10-05 06:08:15 · answer #10 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on soon becoming a mom. Tell them now and then they will decide how to take the news. If you do not tell them until later on you will feel guilt. It is time for you to make yourself your child and your husband happy.
2007-10-05 06:02:02 · answer #11 · answered by boucho 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋