Will God help me?Or should I depend on my legs ? Or what should I do ?
2007-10-05 05:39:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
So... this Baptist preacher is walking through the woods when he hears something behind him. He looks back and there's a big grizzly bear standing on its hind legs.
The bear roars at him, and he starts running. He's running down the hill, praying that he won't be caught, when he gets knocked down from behind, and the bear is on top of him about to bite him.
He yells out, "Lord! Please make this bear a good Baptist!"
He doesn't hear anything, and he opens his eyes to see the bear with his head bowed, and his eyes closed.
The preacher smiles, and whispers, "Thank you Lord!"
The bear opens its mouth and also says, "Thank you Lord."
The preacher smiles again, and the bear continues, "For this meal you have provided to me, I ask you, Lord to bless this food...."
2007-10-05 05:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I see this question is meant to be mocking but for those that are really interested-
don't run and don't climb trees- a bear can outrun you and many bears will climb right up behind you
do not make eye contact with the bear or make any moves that could be understood as threatening or initmidating, back away making as little noise as possible. If the bear is threatening, lay on the ground in fetal position- basically, play dead- play dead for a while- 20 minutes or so after you think the bear has left because often they watch from a distance and will come back.
God helps us by giving us wisdom and discernment- it is up to us to use it
2007-10-05 05:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Read the nature/hiking guide book for reccomendations
(before a possible encounter with a bear)
2) When encountering a bear, remember and do what
the guidebook said.
AND
3) Pray! - God can help and also impress upon your
heart anything else you can do at the time!
2007-10-05 05:55:15 · answer #3 · answered by Nickel-for-your-thoughts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion you turn it over to God; : If he says run, you run like never before. If he says climb, you climb the highest tree that you can find. If he says hit the dirt, you curl up in the fetal position and wait for God to take it from there ... if you've paid your dues, this could be the point when you get that train ticket punched.
2007-10-05 05:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope God gives your legs the speed to get away?
"Pray to God, but row away from the rocks"
-Old Russian Proverb
2007-10-05 05:43:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
walk with two sticks and continually hit them together
this will warn off the bears and they will run in a different direction
I saw this on the movie Parent Trap and it worked well
2007-10-05 05:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get some kids to make fun of your bald spot; then Joe Hovah will sic the bears on them instead...
Actually, you're supposed to charge the bear, yelling and waving your arms.
2007-10-05 05:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Algie met a bear.
The bear was bulgy.
The bulge was Algie.
2007-10-05 05:55:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God has already helped you.
He gave you legs.
2007-10-05 05:54:13 · answer #9 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Roll up into a ball and play dead.
2007-10-05 05:45:14 · answer #10 · answered by NONAME 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋