My daughter is 3 and she is being bullied by a 3 year old a few months younger than her. i cant really keep them apart since we are neighbors and his older siblings go to school with my older daughter. I have told this child to quit calling my daughter stupid, and ugly. He continues and this morning he told her he was gonna beat her @ss!!! His mother just calls him stupid when he calls my child stupid. His brothers and sisters are also bullies and I believe he is trying to "prove himself" to his older siblings. How do i teach MY child to stand up for herself without sending her the wrong message? She is by far bigger than this boy and could easily hurt him if she wanted to. As it is though my 5 year old is always standing up for my 3 year old and i dont want her to become dependant one her older sister to fight her battles. Should i put her in a martial arts class?
2007-10-05 05:07:43 · 15 answers · asked by osborn_tr 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I HAVE spoken to his mother and she has heard it for herself. She gets onto him and it doesnt seem to do any good. Mostly she laughs it off. I have gotten onto this child myself and he ignores me. My husband and i have one car which he takes to work. I ride with this neighbor to take the older kids to school which is why i cant keep them apart. There isnt a bus that runs in our area. I have told this child he isnt allowed to play at our house and I have told him several times not to talk to my daughter that way. All she does is cry about it. She does not defend herself and so I do it and her older sister does too. i believe the only way he will stop is if she tells him to quit and asserts herself. Nothing else has seemed to work. Btw I live in military housing so we arent really free to move.
2007-10-05 05:56:08 · update #1
He could be doing so because he has a crush on her, little babys, and kinds these days will do and act that way hun.
But Im sorry about the problem, move it isnt as easy to say that as it sounds, but if you have the money than its not that hard..
does that sound rude?
2007-10-05 05:13:59 · answer #1 · answered by TTC #1 hoping for 2009 baby! 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
What? I was with you until you mentioned the martial arts class and now I'm wondering who is suppose to be going to that.... your 3yo??
Even if you're neighbors, why can't you keep them from playing with one another? Obviously this boy is a 'bad seed' (poor thing has learned bad behaviour from his parents and siblings), and you should distance your children from this family as much as possible. Oh, just read the add on info and see you're carpooling with this family. Yikes. Sure there is no else to carpool with? Can you afford a second car?
Teach her to leave, not to push or yell or anything else in retaliation. That's what I still try to do when I run across adults who are like this.
2007-10-05 22:02:29 · answer #2 · answered by MaPetiteHippopotame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it with people are here being so mean & giving the rudest answers they can think of to someone asking an honest question because they need help????? It has to be extremely traumatic on them to have lost BOTH of their parents! Im sure that's where his behavior is coming from. He's scared he's going to loose you too! And the way he's treating his brother I'm sure is also a result of loosing his parents! You didn't say how long ago they lost their parents? Have you tried to put him in counseling? I would do ccounseling& just a lot of reassurance that you are not going to leave. Lots of praise for his good behavior towards brother & let him know that bad behavior towards brother has consequences. Have you tried time outs with him? Try explaining to him that even though he's hurting & upset that he CAN NOT treat hs brother like that. You & your fiance are wonderful for taking the boys! Keep your head up! And be consistent with disciplining. It will get easier! Good Luck!
2016-05-17 04:26:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take another look at this...she is 3 YEARS OLD!!! She is at the age that she should not have to defend herself!! Her five year old sister shouldn't have to stick up for her either. When she gets older (8, 10, and older) that would be differant but at this age she should still be under the protection of her mom!
You shouldn't count on your daughters to stick up for themselves or eachother you want them to know if something is happening that is not o.k. mom has their back and will help them out. It is your position as the parent to see that she is protected at 3 years old. I don't really care if this is a neighbor boy, it is possible to not let them be together and there are ways to make that happen. Your child is more important than anything and her emotional well being is also.
Some may say that it is harmless child "play". I don't see it this way. I have seen first hand in other kids the harm of being picked on and being called names. It does hurt them emotionally and mentally...they start feeling bad about themselves and then acting as such.
My oldest is 7 and she is to the age that I give her the opportunity to stick up for herself but if she is unable to then that is where I step in. My son is almost 6, when someone says mean things instead of laying them out (which is a bad habit to grow in a child) he knows to come get mom or dad and let them step in and take care of it. My three year old? Not an option... if you decide to be mean to her you will have to go through her daddy and me. It is our job as parents to protect and teach them until they are of the appropriate age to start doing this for themselves.
2007-10-05 05:52:04 · answer #4 · answered by jhg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A 3 year old should not have to stick up for theirselves. Your the mother, you need to tell the mother of this little boy that he is longer allowed to play with your child unless he learns to be nice. Just because you are neighbors does not mean the kids have to play together.
2007-10-05 05:45:59 · answer #5 · answered by TD R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your neighbor obviously has no clue on appropriate parenting .As uncomfortable as it may be, you must approach her on this and let her know her son's behavior is inappropriate. Say something like, "I really would like our kids to be friends but I cannot allow my daughter to be around your son if he continues this aggressive behavior." You can certainly tell your daughter to defend herself but, come on now, she is 3! Three year-olds shouldn't have to worry about getting into fights. I think the best tactic is avoidance. That in itself will be a strong message.
2007-10-05 05:23:24 · answer #6 · answered by OP-lo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neighbor or not it is your choice who you let play with your daughter. I would just tell him if you cannot be nice you are not allowed to play over here, if the mom gets mad too bad. 3 is a bit young to expect them to be able to fight their own battles when it comes to mean kids.
2007-10-05 05:40:16 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't recommend teaching a baby to fight. That's not the message you want to send. Tell the mother to keep her kids away from yours if she can't keep them from being bullies. You most certainly CAN keep the kids apart, even if they go to school together. If the bullying continues at school, go to the principal. Personally, if any child threatened MY baby by saying he was going to "beat his/her a$$," I would have to really restrain myself from telling the little bully that if he so much as looked at her the wrong way, I'd slap him silly. But that obviously isn't the right way to handle it. And it sounds like these kids are the result of bad parenting if the mom calls her baby stupid, which, when you think about it, is really sad. Just tell the mom to keep her kids away from yours, and if the incidents continue, you will involve the police. It may sound extreme, but your kids don't have to deal with bullying, especially in the form of physical threats. Since the mother isn't doing her job, she is partially responsible. You can always file a report so the police are aware of the threats in case anything actually happens. How sad that people such as your neighbor can't even control their toddlers. It makes me really scared to think about what these kids will be doing in 10 years.
2007-10-05 05:28:07 · answer #8 · answered by SoBox 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
This is exactly the same situation that happened to Little Bill - its a new show on the noggin channel by Bill Cosby. Little Bills dad told him to say "SO" and just repeat and repeat that, since I think Little Bill was being called a Poopyhead - and little bills dad told him , he wasnt a poopyhead, so SO WHAT, if they called him that.
I did a quick search and see its on Nick Jr too, its the "meanest thing to say" episode. I liked the message since you're standing up for yourself, your not retailiating, and it brings a little humor to it.
2007-10-05 05:14:45 · answer #9 · answered by lillilou 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are going to have to show your daughter how to stand up for herself- she is going to mimick your reactions and proactive attributes....Secondly they shouldn't be playing with each other, you can keep them apart by setting a standard of what type of environment you want your child to be exposed to. You don't want her to pick up their habits..martial arts teaches discipline...however you are your childs advocate
2007-10-05 05:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋