I hooked up with a girl from an internet dating site. When we met I saw that she's missing a finger. She never told me about it before we met. She never mentioned it on our date, but it's all I could think about. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with loosing a finger, but why didn't she talk about it? You'd think she should explain something like that! She's really nice and she's cute and I think she'd make a great wife some day, but I'm a little spooked about the finger thing. Should I ask her out again? I feel weird about asking, but maybe I should just call her and explain why I couldn't stop staring at her hand?
2007-10-05 04:09:00 · 30 answers · asked by I Luv NY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh, yea. I should have said this before. I was up late last night because I couldn't stop thinking how weird it was. Then I realized that it was her left ring finger! That's probably a really bad omen...
2007-10-05 04:19:59 · update #1
Okay. You guys are probably right. It's silly for me to fret so much over a missing digit. There is one thing that I haven't figured out yet. Can I still hold her hand? If so, should I thread my fingers through her fingers or just go palm-to-palm? Do you think her missing finger would hurt if I were to give her hand a squeeze?
2007-10-05 04:38:23 · update #2
Zig, your answer has me really freaked out. What if it's a genetic defect? I don't want my kids turning out like The Simpsons.
2007-10-05 05:16:05 · update #3
Was your online relationship straight email or did you im with her?
If you were IMing with her, did you notice anything about her typing skills? Maybe a suttle mistroking or something like that?
I agree with you, it is somewhat odd that she never brought this up. If I were you, I would start pressing her to reveal how she lost it. Maybe the reason why she didn't fully disclose is not because she's insecure about it but maybe she was performing some kind of questionable or illegal activity when she lost it.
Every person is a mystery.
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Dude, I just checked back with you and read your additional details. If indeed it is her ring finger then if I were you I would get away from her ASAP! Does she have your address and telephone number? Hopefully you were smart and did not pass that out to someone you met on the internet.
There's a high probability that she's part of a feminist cult called Order of Venus, or something like that. I've heard that in this cult, to be initiated into the higher circles you must cut off your ring finger. Members of this cult are VERY anti man and do internet recruiting to find their victims.
This was on the drudgereport a few weeks ago!
2007-10-05 05:13:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
What does her not having a finger have to do with how you may or may not feel about her? You're a shallow person to think that you're feelings should be determined by how many fingers she has. Listen, she more than likely didn't bring it up because she's gotten use to it not being there so it doesn't cross her mind. She may also have thought if I tell him I'm missing a finger I may scare him away or he may make a big deal about it. You need to get over yourself and your perfect body and accept others for how they are. A finger doesn't define a person, it just defines you.
2007-10-05 04:41:36 · answer #2 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually, there are a lot of people who are missing fingers, but you can actually know them for years and not notice. When my Dad lost his right pinkie in an accident, lots of people who he didn't even realize were missing digits came up to him and told him how they lost their fingers. I realized that a teacher at my high school whom I had known for years was missing a finger (and he was a music teacher, and played the piano quite well!).For a lot of people who are missing fingers, it really isn't a big deal to them, and they think that most people don't notice because they often don't. She probably lost it in some childhood accident and she's use to it. I'd say, yes, if she's nice definitely ask her out again. You'll get used to it, just like I got used to my Dad's missing finger, and, really, how much time do you really spend looking at a girl's hands?
2007-10-05 04:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by Cybele 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said that she iz cute and nice..so y does a finger make a difference after all ur dating her not the finger...there mayb a hurtful story behind her misssing finger and she may not wanna bring baq painful memories so y would u want her 2 if u lyk her...let tyme go by i bet the more trust she has 4 u will make her tell u...also a missing finger izn't lyk a missing leg it's a small issue dont get spooked cuz atleast shes cute...and yea u should most def ask her out again
2007-10-05 04:17:58 · answer #4 · answered by Shakez 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Only if you can get passed your obsession with her missing finger, this is just a quirk for you, we all have at sometime or another been distracted by good or bad attributes of other people and you just need to focus you mind and not concentrate on something so meaningless.
Maybe she didn't mention it because her finger or lack there of because it has nothing to do with who she really is as a person.
If you really feel the need to know, approach the subject with caution and ask if she minds if you ask about whatcould be a very personal or painful memory.
2007-10-05 04:19:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mr.G's wife 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So you met her online. It would be interesting to see how she types. I mean if I was misisng my ring finger I don't know how I would do it.
Also just to clarify it's the whole finger right? There's not a stub or half a finger the whole thing? Did she see you staring at her hand all night? That would have ended the date for me. I had a friend who had a glass eye and he always complained about people staring at him. He was like why do people always want to look at my eye when they talk to me? One time he got so mad at a co-worker that he just took it out and put it in their hand and told them to get a good look.
I do think that she didn't mention it b/c of a tramatic experience that caused the missing digit. If you like her I wouldn't press the issue, let her explain it when she's comfortable with it.
2007-10-05 08:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by UFLouie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the matter with you? She's missing a finger; so what? I'm sure she didn't eject it just to spook you one day when you finally came into her life and you two met. She probably didn't mention it because you don't know her well enough for that to be any of your business yet, but go ahead and ask her about it before your staring messes everything up and you make a fool of yourself. Good luck.
2007-10-05 04:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by Captain S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In the vast universe of "things that could be wrong with a potential lover," a universe that includes locales such as the planet of STDs and the Obsessive-Compulsive nebula, missing a finger is so small it doesn't even register as blip in an asteroid field. Get some perspective.
If you demand physical perfection, then I hope you are rich enough to date a supermodel.
2007-10-05 04:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she lost the finger ripping off some insensitive guy's head off after a date where all he did was stare at her hand. Now a sensitive guy would not let this bother him and someday she might share her personal stories with him.
2007-10-05 04:17:01 · answer #9 · answered by Augie 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well, shes missing a finger.
ask about it if it doesnt make her feel too uncomfortable.
but if you really like her.. you shouldnt have to worry about her missing something as simple as a finger.
Ask her out again!
2007-10-05 04:18:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋