Jehovah Witness' only please.... Engagement and living together.?

Question

Boyfriend and I were living together (he was raised as a JW, fell away, and we both declared to be non-religious when we got together.. Alot has changed in 2 years. We have been studying, and he's getting back into the faith, and I am learning, and am very intersted, and can see this for myself. We are very serious about this, and about getting married).Well, ever since we started going to studies, and meetings, we've felt guitly about "fornication", which we are guilty of. We PLAN on getting married, but for my wedding day, we'd both like to be married in the fall but need time to save up for the wedding that we both want. Is it "okay" to be engaged, and have a year, or 6-9 mo (as long as it's in a cooler month, not summer) engagment, getting married in early spring or late fall? Is that okay? OR is it better to just go on ahead and do it, and not have a wedding that I can remember, which is very important to me, and him. I hve been thru a some bad relationships and I am

I really feel blessed to have found this man I want to spend the rest of my life with, he's great with my kids, and really inspires me to be a better person...... and I want to be able to fully celebrate my wedding day, and not be rushed....

Answer 1

Any Christian church is going to tell you the same thing that the JWs will tell you. It is not considered proper to live together without the benefit of marriage and is considered to be fornication. You really have three options, as I see it.

1. Get married right away
2. Get married right away but then have a re-commitment ceremony on your first anniversary, and go all out for that one.
3. Live separately until you are able to get married.

EDITS: Hey! I just went back and read Unsilenced Lamb's and Carol D's response and had to click "show" to do so because they received too many thumbs down. Yet, they upheld the same Biblical principles here that the JWs did. This goes to show that it is not the message but the messanger that is all important to those here. Just thumb someone down because of who they are, even if they agree with you. Actually, the same thing happened to me today on another question. One of the top JW troll here down thumbed me and then turned around and stated the exact same thing I did right after me! Go figure! Apparently, there is more interest in slamming others than in being in agreement on Biblical principles. How much you want to bet they report me now for this too and invent some "violation" to do so??

Jason: yes, the truth is beautiful, when it is the true Gospel and not "another gospel" from an organization preaching "another Jesus" (2 Corinthians 11: 3, 4). The websites shared by unsilenced lamb are not "apostate" sites. They are true gospel sites. Who is attacking who? What they offer is the truth that sets us free, as Jesus said we ought to have. That can never hurt someone's realtionship with the Creator, only give a correct perspective from Scripture on that relationship.

Paul S: The mission of Christians is not to break your faith but to bring it more in line with the gospel according to Scripture. The ones who are blinded by Satan are those who the APostle Paul says preach a different gospel and a different Christ. Both of which the WT does and both of which the APostle says in verse 3 of 2 Cor. 11: 3, 4 are what actually comes under the deception of Satan. Excuse us Christians from trying to save people from falling into the trap of a false gospel. BTW, I have NEVER blocked a JW. It is, in fact, a fallacy to believe that Christians hate JWs as many of us, myself included, have family members who are in the org. Unfortunately, they are instructed by the society to not show the same love in return. Everything about the WT is one-sided double standard. The blind leading the blind as Jesus Himself said. Only the real truth of God's word sets one free, not some man-made organization. BTW, there is no such thing as an "evil slave class". Jesus parable wasn't discussing classes at all. Not a "faithful and discreet slave class" either, no matter how the WT wants to pervert the parable. FYI: we ARE liberated and the book we read is the BIBLE and not the perverted rendition that WT puts out (NWT).

Answer 2

If you want the wedding of your dreams and wait, then you cannot live together. You can wait for 6-9 months if you wish and save up. Nothing wrong with that.

If you cannot live apart, then applying what you've learned from studying with the Jehovah's Witnesses, it might be a good idea to have a judge marry you and your BF.

Remember, let's do all in God's glory!

Answer 3

In 1996 when my girlfriend and I started studying we were living together in a really nice Condo in Costa Mesa Calif.. When we learned that it was wrong to live together and have sex relations before marriage we decided that I would move in with a relative. My girlfriend instead moved back into her parents house. We knew we were doing what was right in Jehovah God's eyes.
We were married on May 1 1996 and we have been married now for 11 years, and we just had a baby boy on May 2 2007 the day after our 11 year wedding anniversary.
Jehovah has really blessed us.

You could always decide to have a Judge marry you and then have a big wedding later.
At least you will be married and you won't have to be apart. Alot of friends have done this.

I'm happy that you are studying and you two plan to get married. The truth is so beautiful !!!
Never let anyone tell you other wise.
I have noticed that the people that regulary attack us are trying to mislead you to Apostate web sites and believe me, they have nothing to offer you !!!
They can not give us life or do anyhting for us but try to hurt our relationship with our Father Jehovah.
Know that you have true Brothers and Sisters in the faith that are here to support you and help you.

It was nice talking to you and tell your soon to be husband we said hello.

Love and greetings from Brother and Sister Weeks, Lakewood Cong. California.

Answer 4

I am not a witness, but many in my family are, and if you are studying, then you should already know the answer to this....whatever you decide on the wedding, living together without the committment of marriage is NOT RIGHT, and it is made even worse by the fact that you are setting a bad example for your children.

JW is an ALL or NOTHING religion. You can't do it like you can some religions, in which you personally get to pick and chose which things you'd like to believe in.

You already know the answer to this.

Answer 5

Congratulations!!!,
you are on your way to being found acceptable
in Jehovah's eye's;
u r on your way to being a member of a worldwide family;
and your getting married!!!
Congratulations all the way around!! ;~)

My brothers & sisters already gave you trustworthy & beautiful Scriptual advice.

So, I'd like to share my personal exp., w/ u.
I came into the truth, when I was w/ a man for 9 yrs.
I would not marry him,
for I was leaning on my understanding of marriage.
+ I wanted an easy "out" in case we didn't work out.
(yeah, I know 9 yrs, I know, I know.)
As I learned more of what is & isn't acceptable to Jehovah
my conscience 'really' began to 'dig into me.'
So much so I stopped being intimate w/ him.
And when we did, I would be upset w/ myself,
for not sticking to my integrity*.
We got married, w/ in the yr., of my coming into the truth.
I didn't have an elaborate wedding,
nor a wedding celebration of any kind.
{ we have 3 kids, & not alot of $$}
I do not regret getting married,
in the fashion that I did get married....
bc, what I did, was Pleasing in Jehovah's eyes.
Period.
I say get the union legal.
Have ur wedding @ a later date.
You could always have a small ceremony,
have ppl in the family help w/ the expense
of cake, drinks & decorations.
You can find a really,
nice pretty dress @ Macy's or a similiar store.
A simple but nice ring can be found for under $500.00
I don't know what kind of budget u r working w/.
{ I didn't get my expensive wedding ring,
until more recently, I always had a diamond,
but not expensive; and I have no regrets}
It's up to the 2 of you.
And Jehovah.
What r ur priorities?
What is fesible?

I really like the answers u've received from our bro's & sis's.

{*knowing the difference,
between acceptable behavior & not acceptable behavior}

Answer 6

Hi there, I guess you know deep down what you have to do, but need reassurance? Remember that Jehovah doesn't just want to point the finger, He wants you to make the right choice and at the same time He will help you all the way. I have had exactly the same experience myself! I'll make it easy for you, you have 3 choices:

1) Get your marriage certificate. This can be done literally in two weeks! A marriage office may seem plain and boring, but it gets the job done. You can just as easily renew your marriage vows, or have a ceremony when you can afford a big one.

2) Live separately until you've saved up enough (who knows how long that would take, could be 6 months, could be 12). This would be problematic if there is nowhere to go; would you be able to afford it? More importantly, do you both feel you will have enough self control for this? Be realistic.

3) "Forget living morally clean until you are married". To me, this isn't an option and it wouldn't be pleasing to God or the elders. Not that it's unforgivable, but would you really be doing your best? Would you be able to live for that 6+ months without your conscience and "new" relationship with God being troubled?


Obviously it is up to you both. Personally, my fiancée and myself chose option 1. We'd been together through thick and thin for 3 years already (and still growing stronger) so choosing to get married wasn't a hard choice. Being obedient to God is more important than having a "big day". If you love each other that much, it won't matter what your wedding day is like. You will still be able to have "your day" when you are married. Always remember, it's the commitment and how you treat each other that counts, not the marriage day. Think of how much happier you will be once you've done things the right way. Not only will it be less stressful, it won't dig into your wallet. Like I said though, you can easily have the celebration where you can dress up at a later date (maybe even your 1st years anniversary!)

If you chose option 1, remember to stay celibate for the weeks leading to your marriage (not long). Ideally, it would be better to live apart, but with some people this isn't really a reasonable option.

Always remember to do your study together. This is important not only for your relationship with God, but it also builds up the relationship with each other. There are 3 to a marriage, yourself, your husband, and God.

Me and my wife read the Greek scriptures together before settling down, it is really encouraging and we both look forward to it every night.

You can't beat the blessings you'll recieve from Jehovah for the obedience of both of you!




By the way, while I'm here, do yourself a favor and block these users, or don't waste your time reading their twisted answers:

exJW#144,001
Suzanne
Christian Soldier
unsilenced lamb
Used to be... PediC
Wondering Faith
curly sue
Nina

Here's a non exhaustive list of apostates and Jehovah's Witness opposers. Their only mission in life is to break the faith of Jehovahs Witnesses. They think that because they've read two books by the king apostate himself (Ray Franz), that they are liberated and know everything! However, their minds have been blinded by Satan. Of course they won't admit it, but they are wolves in sheep’s clothing (no offence you guys LOL).

If they get offended by this edit, ask them why they seem to block every Jehovahs Witness?




Sorry Carol, here you go; shortone, avoid this person too:

Carol D

In case any of the apostates didn't notice, shortone asked for ONLY JW's to answer, not any of the "evil slave" class...




Apostates got thumbs down on here because they are badmouthing Jehovahs Witnesses, when the question was asking ONLY for Jehovahs Witnesses to answer. They may have given correct info on the fornication issue, but at the same time they go against the questioners wishes and disrespect the religion she's interested in.

Answer 7

There have been cases where a Witness has become cold and drifted away from the Organization. During that time that individual may have engaged In all kinds of unclean behavior.. it all depends on time away from the Organization. Then again Is that individual " still" recognized as a JW in the Community?.. that would come into play when he/she wants to regain a Relationship with Jehovah.
Unlike what some may believe, the Elders are NOT out to disfellowship persons who show remorse and a repentant attitude. Its those who show a rebellious nature towards Biblical counsel that get them into trouble. Elders are admonished to " Shepherd the Flock of God ... in their Care".. The Flock does not belong to the Elders, but to God.

Answer 8

1

Answer 9

You got some really great answers to your question. It is important to please Jehovah first and formost.

As far as your wedding goes, I can understand your desire to have a beautiful wedding. However, you can have a wonderful, beautiful wedding without all of the expense. The end results really are the same...
Notice the subheading "Joy That Lasts Beyond the Wedding Day" in the link to the following article:
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20061015/article_01.htm

Trust me, you will remember your wedding day whether it is simple or lavish. The nice thing about the simple wedding is it is less stressful, and you will not have a huge bill to remind you of your wedding day later!! :0)

If you put Jehovah first in your lives and follow his laws, he will bless you and you really won't regret it.
Wishing you much success in your future live together!

Answer 10

It is commendable that your consciences are bothering you.
To progress spiritually,you both need to do what is right in Jehovah's eyes.That means not living together and not fornicating.
No one expects you to rush into marriage.That could be a big mistake.
Continue with your studies,continue with your meeting attendance and pray to Jehovah and trust in him to sort things out.
I was in a similar situation.However we were both from the world.We were living together,I started studying and then he started studying.My conscience started bothering me.I knew whilst we were living together I couldn't go witnessing and wouldn't make as much spiritual progress.Being afraid of losing him,I opted for marriage rather than living apart.I progressed to baptism.He however eventually stopped studying and regressed back into the world.He ended up commiting adultery.We divorced. Had I listened to my spiritual mum(study conductor) and opted for living apart until we both baptised I would have been spared the heartbreak of divorce.
I love Jehovah and have no regrets for becoming one of His Witnesses though.
Pro.3:5,6:"Trust in Jehovah with all your heart,and do not lean upon your own understanding.In all your ways take notice of him,and he himself will make your paths straight".