Is this acceptable? I haven't seen anyone semi-steady in years, and should I just ask a girl im friends with to clear her calendar?
Im a 27 year old male btw. I dabble alot in the online dating thing, because I don't like bars.
Im not desperate, it's just I feel im better than that, like more deserving.
If I go alone, is that a sign women really don't like or get me?
2007-10-05 03:33:40 · 15 answers · asked by Pep Lofton 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hopflower,
Good advice, except get my mind off myself?
Im selfish because life is short, im not getting any younger and especially women do worse things when they're single?
Im selfish?
That's farfetched.......
2007-10-05 03:43:44 · update #1
I love McRedneck......
Put yourself in my shoes, ok?
You've been turned down by most if not every woman you've ever pursued. You've been out with women, but it doesn't go past a first date or email tag...
Women say "you're such a great guy", yet you question why they aren't dating you if they feel they have to tell you that...
Every woman you've met mostly had a bf or there was one giving me a chaperone look, making it awkward......
You don't think about it, which I resorted to lots and every single one of your close friends ask you how it's going, how is the online thing treating me, and all that stuff, even at the most inappropriate times....
Am I getting anywhere here, or am I still a selfish jerk like a couple of you proclaim me to be.
Also, here's the kicker.
The invitation said for me and GUEST.
They want me to bring someone!
Im sorry for being defensive, but I have lots to offer, yet my dating life is choppy at best......
2007-10-05 03:48:01 · update #2
Ladies thank you all for your sound advice. I appreciate it greatly.........
2007-10-05 07:47:28 · update #3
The "and guest" on your invitation is due to the triumph of modern marketing over both etiquette and common sense. In an effort to rake in ever more money, The Wedding Industry has spread the incorrect notion that it is "rude" to simply invite the people you know and care about, that it is necessary to allow your single guests to bring a guest of their own.
Acting on this evil myth, wedding hosts must choose between excluding friends and family so as to accommodate these anonymous "and guest" people OR increasing the number of guests. (Wow, why would TWI want you invite more people? Maybe so they can sell you more stuff?) Further, the "scrounge up some kind of date or you'll look ridiculous" implication of "and guest" puts well meaning people like yourself in an unfortunate position.
RSVP that you will coming by yourself; your hosts will be delighted. Ask them to seat you with other singles, if possible. Partner a few dances with the wall flowers. Dancing with a 55 year old widow may not be romantic, but that widow may have a single daughter or niece who is there with a gentleman she doesn't really care for but only dragged along because she felt pressured to bring a date. Be prepared for some discreet exchanges of phone numbers.
(BTW, the correct way to let guest know that they are welcome to bring a date is to ask "Is there someone special you'd me to invite for you?" Then you send that person their very own invitation with their name on it. Sloppy wording like "and family" or "and guest" is often it's own punishment, especially where free champagne is involved.)
2007-10-05 06:00:49 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly fine to go to a wedding without a date. Not having a date doesn't say anything about you except that you don't have a date. People will not judge you negatively because you're not seeing anyone. You're really young, too. 27 does not exactly make you a crusty old bachelor! As long as you have friends at the wedding, I"m sure you'll have a great time. Besides...there may be some attractive single ladies there, too! ;-)
You'll look far more confident going by yourself than if you brought someone just for the sake of bringing a date. (Besides, the bride and groom will appreciate not having to pay for an extra person they probably don't know.)
2007-10-05 04:15:23 · answer #2 · answered by SE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a date. Talk to the other people at your table. Be nice and save the couple money, wedding meals are expensive. Don't just rustle up a date so you're not on your own, then the couple has to pay for a freeloader they don't even know. Think about what this costs them. You only ever bring a date if you are in a relationship. Since you aren't, just go on your own. Who knows, you may meet a single girl there and she might not talk to you if you have a date.
2007-10-05 19:47:15 · answer #3 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
even if your invite does say guest, you're not required to bring one. It's very nice that your friends have thought of you in that way.
you never know...you might meet someone at a wedding if you go solo. Just check out all the single ladies mingling around before the bouquet toss and try and strike up a convo with one of them later.
my parents met each other when they were young, but that was in the 80s. Lately it seems like dating has taken a turn and going in the other direction. (granted I'm fairly young and engaged...but as I've been looking online a lot of the wedding have been first time marriages of couples in their early 30s)
dating and love is different for everyone and comes in at different times.
(online dating is...well bleh, i knew a girl who married 2 people from meeting online, both ending in divorce. if you don't like the bar scene..there are OTHER places to find people as well)
and i'm not ashamded to admit, at one point in time i went dateless to a wedding, and asked the bride and groom who i was really good friends with "hey...umm...i don't want to sit with my parents...can you put me a table with some single people!" Granted, you wont be there with your parents, but it never hurts to ask. I ended up meeting a guy, things didn't work out in the long run after a few months but it made the reception pretty fun.
2007-10-05 04:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A wedding invitation that states "you and Guest" doesn't mean necessarily that they WANT you to bring someone only that you CAN. If you have no one that you want to bring, go solo, you'd be surprised who you might meet up with. The couple may even seat you at a table of other singles so you meet someone.
Women don't mind a single man at a wedding (after all they're there "stag" too. It gives them someone to dance with besides the old lecherous uncle who's always trying to cop a feel!
2007-10-05 04:21:43 · answer #5 · answered by Survivors Ready? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you need to ask if the bride and groom have enough space for you to bring a date. With the costs of everything going up all the time couples sometimes need to cut things to the bone so they can have the wedding that they want. The first and most logical way to cut costs is to limit the number of guests so you need to ask if bringing a date would be OK
So you are a young eligible male going to a wedding reception alone... sounds like a pretty good position to me. No one is going to think anything about you coming without a date in fact you just might come home with the girl of your dreams. OK that's a stretch(although not impossible) but as a single male you should have your pick of the many single women that are sure to be in attendance. Have Fun
2007-10-05 03:41:52 · answer #6 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Just because the invitation says "And Guest", doesn't mean it's mandatory that you bring a date. Going it alone won't kill you. Also, you may get a chance at meeting some new people while you're there. Get off the dating sites and go to the wedding!
2007-10-05 04:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's no big deal to go alone. I never really understood the idea of a date being required for a wedding anyway. You are there to support your marrying friends and celebrate their happiness. And you never know, you might meet some really cool girl who also didn't bring a date. But if not, who cares, have fun!
2007-10-05 03:44:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm a 26 F and I have a wedding to go to Oct. 27th and I'm going dateless. It's perfectly fine. And believe me I understand the wanting to have a date. But I have also heard of people meeting singles at weddings LOL Guess we will find out hu?
2007-10-05 03:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by KayKay 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Ask a good guy friend to go with you. It won't look gay or anything. Most people will just assume that you are friends. Drink and enjoy the reception. And who knows... You may find a girl there!
2007-10-05 03:44:14 · answer #10 · answered by theewokprincess 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋