Help with my youngest son -- behavior stuff?

Question

I'm just about at my wit's end with my youngest son. He will soon be 7, & is the most mercurial child I've ever known. He can swing from sweet to vicious in .4 secs. He gets completely unreasonable, stomps around, throws things at times, calls everyone in the house names, screams, you get the picture. I blame some of this on his older brother, who modeled similar behavior to him for most of his impressionable years. He is now going on 12 & getting to where he can be talked to & reasoned with (most of the time). But I can't stand the thought of going through another 4+ years w/ the youngest acting this way. I don't know what to do. Some (like my Dad) say: "Spank them!" -- but if you do that, you risk someone disagreeing with that & calling authorities saying you're abusive. Others say to talk things thru & find ways to help them deal with anger, etc - we try that, but I just don't think it's working. If it is, how do I deal w/his explosions until he matures?

Answer 1

he is soon to be seven he is old enough to understand rules....sit down with him with a big sheet of paper and some colouring pens. Make ten rules that you both agree on, for instance "no running inside", "use kind words", "clean up after yourself", "no violence or hitting", "respect parents and siblings", "Tell us when you feel angry or sad" etc etc...and then put this up on the wall...explain that if he breaches these rules then something of his will be taken away like his favourite toy or 1/2 an hour of tv. If he come to you calmly and tells you he's angry for instance, then praise him by giving him a treat like allowing him extra tv time or ice cream for dessert. Another option is a points system where you give him points for good behaviour and he gets a reward when he hits a certain amount (say 10)

Answer 2

I've seen some crazy responses.

I'm giving advice, feel free to agree or not. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I'm not talking about "psycho-therapy" where you sit on the couch and lament the issues of your life. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is DIFFERENT. It retrains the human to respond to stimuli in a more productive way. CBT does NOT try to understand why the child is acting crazy (sorry, trying to be brief), nor does CBT try to identify what might have gone wrong in the past to cause current issues. CBT literally retrains the child to respond rather than react. I was just as you described your sons. I never really got control, not even as a young adult. I didn't start to have a healthy productive life until CBT. Now, I am very successful at my life. Instead of over-reacting (which is what they're doing), I've learned to recognize my triggers earlier and prevent the catastrophe that once was my life. I've learned to enforce my boundries, not only keeping people at bay and respecting my boundries, but also in not overstepping my boundries. You will not get a "diagnosis" from a CBT. Your kids will not be labelled from a cbt. I think just getting them redirection and retraining is worth looking into. Best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 3

Discipline!
Punishment without spanking. Take away a favourite toy, or TV time. Give them time-outs. Make them go read a book. Let them/him do house chores.
My oldest son acts up every once in a while and what works best is punishment, being sent to his room to sit on his bed or read a book.
What also works is when I threaten to not give him a snack at home or in school....it may sound funny but each day at school the kids get snack time and he doesn't want to be the only one without a snack so he behaves.

If it's really unusual behavior and out of control maybe you should consult your pediatrician.

Hope that helps!

Answer 4

OK my 10 year old did the same thing pull down the pants and spank him u cant get the authorities to care if u just sapnk them and the cry for 10 min now if u spank them still there but is red them u r in the theabusive part of spanking

Answer 5

I went through exactly the same thing with my son. He's ten years old and he exhibited the same behavior: tantrums, moodiness, all around obnoxiousness. I tried everything I could think of (including spanking) but he seemed to just get worse as he got older. Finally, I took him to my doctor (I am bipolar and she prescribes my medication). She said that these symptoms are typical of a bipolar child. Although our kids are too young to diagnose her recommendation was simple; treat the symptoms. That is, if he is exhibiting behavior typical of a bipolar child, try medication for a couple of weeks. There is no commitment beyond that and if he doesn't improve, it will be clear that bipolar is not the problem. I know some people are opposed to medication for children and I used to be one of them but our situation was just unbearable. I was willing to try anything. And it worked. Now he is the same kid I've always loved but minus the behaviors that drove the whole family crazy. Whatever you decide to do, good luck!

Answer 6

I have a son who is the same way, I found it very helpful to have a consouler come to the house and work with us, we do time outs , even if it means pinning them to your body, it is tough but you have to do something, I don't know where you are from, but I live in Michigan and the health dept. provides services for kids like ours, I would start there, cause they give you tons of advice, plus it helps you cause you can vent on them, and they listen, and that helps you to keep your cool while dealing with the kids.. good luck

Answer 7

It appears like your son is calling for interest is a intense way. It follows the time line nicely, his "love monetary corporation account" with you grew to become into finished because of the fact he grew to become into abode all summer season and did super interior the beginning up of faculty. He acted out till he had his adnoids out, to which i'm valuable you performed nurse to some quantity and he have been given his interest and yet another debit in his monetary corporation account. returned to college and his account gets credited each and each time a unfavourable bump into occurs, preferable to misbehavior whilst this is overdrawn. i could propose installation a one on one time throughout the time of the week whilst it fairly is all approximately your son, not because of the fact he behaved yet merely because of the fact he's valuable and enjoyed via you. additionally, a on a regular basis 5 minute high quality time can extremely help taek the sting off throughout the time of the week. ensure you are100% with him whilst those circumstances ensue, it fairly is going to help them be powerful. suited of success with you son & i'm hoping this helps!!

Answer 8

I'm sorry most people who would call spanking kids abuse are being extremely unreasonable. Discipline is defiantly needed here. Although i don't have kids my mother spanked me and no it wasn't abusive but it got her message that throwing a fit was not going to be tolerated and i never did it again. there is a difference between spanking your kids and abusing them most people don't know the difference.

Answer 9

Perhaps you can make a rule that you will not deal with him when he is volatile. If he acts out do not give a reaction. Let him pick a place in your home that is strictly his for when he feels out of control. It will help him recognize and be aware of his behavior and give him a sense of control over his emotions.

Answer 10

He might be acting out because of something bothering him. Get him an appointment with a psychiatrist or counselor and see if they can find out whats going on.