He every one I'm bored out of my ... at the office and in need of a laugh. And since I just spotted another one of these bruce lee vs questions in my favorite category I wanted to ask you to get creative with this. So who would you set Chuck Norris against in an epic battle to the death. Who would win and in what way. Most hilarious answer gets 10 points
2007-10-05 02:27:51 · 20 answers · asked by peter gunn 7 in Sports ➔ Martial Arts
I'm looking for a laugh guys. Get a little more creative than just a name. Describe me the outcome and the killer fight moves
2007-10-05 02:37:29 · update #1
I GUESS I'LL PRETEND I'M FIGHTING CHUCK SINCE I DON'T LIKE HIM MUCH AND HE IS TOO QUIET...PLUS HIS BEARD IS GROSS....LET'S SEE.....
I AM A BLACK HEAVYWEIGHT BOXER TURNED MARTIAL ARTIST. I HAVE BEEN BLACKBALLED BY PROMOTERS BECAUSE I KNOCK MY OPPONENTS OUT IN 10 SECONDS. I WON'T TAKE PAYOFFS AND I AM UNBEATEN...I HAVE A 73 INCH WINGSPAN, AM 6 FOOT TALL AND 190LBS, I THINK GUYS LIKE CHUCK NORRIS ARE COWARDS WHO MAKE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES TEACHING CHILDREN. CHUCK WAS ONLY A WEAK MIDDLEWEIGHT IN HIS DAY WHO WOULD NEVER FIGHT BILL "SUPERFOOT" WALLACE(A TRUE MARTIAL ARTIST) IN ANY BIG MONEY MATCHES. CHUCK USED BRUCE LEE'S FRIENDSHIP AND OPPORTUNITIES. CHUCK'S TV SHOW WAS ONE SAD REPETITION OF THE SAME SPINNING REVERSE HOOK KICK.STUPID PEOPLE BOUGHT INTO HIS TV BS AND ACTUALLY BELIEVE HE COULD TAKE A SERIOUS THREAT LIKE ME. HE IS PART NATIVE WHO WILL NEVER DARE FACE A BLACK MAN LIKE ME IN THE RING. I WOULD MAKE IT LAST FOR 30 SECONDS JUST TO HUMILIATE HIM FOR MAKING FOOLS OUT OF A LOT OF SERIOUS FIGHTERS...DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON JEAN CLOD THE DAME...SILLY LITTLE LIGHTWEIGHTS LOOK BAD IN MOVIES..I WOULD BEAT UP BOTH OF THEM IN THE RING IN UNDER A MINUTE....CHARLES "BLACK LIGHTNING" CARTIER
2007-10-05 09:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by ₦âħí»€G 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Chuck Norris. Duuh
2016-04-07 05:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any battle with Chuck Norris is to the death, the death of Chuck's opponent. So the real question is: Who/What would be able to hold on to life the longest if Chuck Norris sets his sites on it?
Lobo would probably put up the best fight. Lobo is pretty much indestructable, so Chuck would end up breaking Lobo's arms and legs and then bury him in the sun. Chuck wouldn't need oven mits either because he is so tough the burning plasma would do nothing more than a mild tan.
2007-10-05 02:40:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rosie O'Donnell and this is why
1. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
5. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
9. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
10. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING
2007-10-05 10:08:29 · answer #4 · answered by rdrssuk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Chuck Norris vs the cast of High School Musical. First they would swarm Chuck while singing a kid friendly fight song. Chuck would start fighting back with roundhouse kicks and spinning back fists. The survivors would make one final assault, an all or nothing rush at Chuck. With unfettered rage, Chuck would rip their still beating hearts from their chests, watching them drop to the floor and bleed !!!
2007-10-05 03:11:14 · answer #5 · answered by Ray H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I`AM IN WORK TOO ,well i would be working away , chuck norris would come in and ask for my boss ,and say £5.35 an hour to do wot , and than stick the toilet brush with bleach were the sun don`t shine . make my day and show no Mercie its to the death bxxxx. .oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh yes, than hang her on the line making sure the quilt corners and pillows are pointing out , ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh yes,and chuck darling i do love you and we`d walk out heads up shoulders back , in to the sun set xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx oh sxxt here she is .
2007-10-05 02:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Godzilla is the only worthy adversary for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris would have to use his leaping roundhouse kick to end this one. A challenge even for Chuck Norris.
2007-10-05 03:08:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Santa Clause thats for giving Chuck coal in his stocking you bas****. Chuck opens with a side kick to the nose making santa's nose all red. Santa comes back with a purple nurple to the chest but with the blow to the nose he grabs a fistful of chest hair and rips it out. Both beat down so bad Santa says hold it how about a candy cane instead as Chuck eats the candy Santa bashes him in the head with his bag of toys and says Ho Ho Ho dirt bag!!!.
2007-10-05 06:27:02 · answer #8 · answered by shotokantiger71 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grizzly Adams
2007-10-05 09:37:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck vs Hulk Hogan!! 2 super Blondie guys with moustaches fighting!! They would seem like twins!! It would be like watching the Olsen Twins fighting! Lil! Hogan will win because it seems he knows best!!!
2007-10-05 02:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by Lola 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋