Do working moms realize that stay at home moms get it, too?

Question

I understand that some women need to work and some women want to work and that's fine. I don't judge anyone based on their career choices.

I DO get judged, though, for staying home with my kids. There are a lot of working moms who look down their noses at us stay at home moms because we "should be out earning more money so our children can have more."

My husband and I made sacrifices. WE gave up some things that WE enjoy so that we could afford for me to stay home with our children because it is important to us that they have a parent at home. We don't share the same family values as other families, and we get that..

But why can't others get it, too?

Answer 1

Some mothers are very cold and snobby to stay at home moms. I am a stay at home mom. Worry about your kids and their lives (and you and yours).It is a stigma .It's kind of like, damned if you do, damned if you don't.... and remember your kids have the benifit of being closer to you anyways because youa re not working. They can come to you with andything and make it no big deal while these other kids might be scared or just not tell at all because mom wasn't there for me when i was little so why should dhe be there now? could be their attitude.

Keep you chin up!

Answer 2

I understand your choice and I believe family comes first. Material things aren't as important as time spent with your children.

I've been a work at home mom for the past 10 years, before that I worked 50-60 hours a week. I made a decison to stop putting in so many hours at our business and we looked for a place where we could both live and work at home. Working like that is ridiculous and highly overrated. The consumptive American lifestyle is highly overrated. How much "stuff" does a person need?

The people in the house are for more important than the things in the house.

Our business suffered some but we learned to get buy with less and really enjoy and get to know each other. My kids are so easy going, and so am I most of the time. They are good people because they were raised with love and gentle teaching. They always say other kids don't have the same relatioship we do. I am always here. My kids tell me without fail every day how much they love me and how they think I'm the best mom in the world. They are kind and above all generous and loving.

Why have kids and let someone else raise them? Or shuffle them to activities when they'd really just rather be with you. The mom is the heart of the home--don't ever forget that.

Some moms have to work, others choose too, and sometimes it's both. Ignore the people that are unkind to you.

The only downside is that it may be difficult to pick up a career later on, after the kids are gone. There's an interesting book out there called the Feminie Mistake, and you may want to read that. You do need to protect yourself financially in some way. That's a reality you can't ignore, as much as you love your childen.

Answer 3

Hi...

Personally, i think that MOST children who have stay at home mothers are better off -- however, i do believe that children need to learn social skills starting at a young age so a preschool program or a day care situation once or twice a week for a few hours is great.

Hon, having more material objects because the mother earns more is NOT LOVE... maybe it's buying love? Kids these days have too much junk, and not enough time together with parents... not enough direction, either. An x-box isn't a babysitter or role model.

And think about this -- when both parents work, they live in accordance with their incomes. So, the majority really doesn't have more money -- they are spending most of it each month on the extra bills they've managed to acquire because of the extra income... how many women do you know who work, and who save over 1/2 of their incomes (probably none). Most people live beyond their means these days, too.

I stayed at home with my kids for three years -- rest of my life i worked... i kept very busy when i stayed home... my house was clean, i was never behind on laundry, everything was painted, nice gardens and yard... and i had a couple friends who had kids my childrens' ages, so we all did things together.

I never look down my nose at stay at home moms... Perhaps you have people looking down their noses at you out of jealousy? Maybe these people you are speaking of HAVE TO work, and resent you for it?

It's very tiring having to work 40 - 60 hours a week, then coming home and taking care of a home and family.... I remember being exhausted!

Heck, if i had it to do all over again? I'd have married some rich dude and stayed at home! (tee hee)

have a great day!

Answer 4

I'm a single working mom - not by choice. And I admire you for being able to stay at home and raise your kids. I would love to do that too.

Most probably those judging working moms are just jealous (either they made the wrong choice - career above kids and the others, like you said don't have another choice but would prefer to stay at home).

Answer 5

B/c your staying at "home''. A place that everyone looks at to be where you relax. So they in turn, compare that to being lazy. Stay at home moms do have alot to do.
You have a schedule to adhear to, you have play dates that you need to keep up with if you want your children to learn to interact with other children. You have to not only clean and cook dinner, but bathe the children. You still have to run all sorts of errands while having the kids with you at the same time.

It doesnt require the same amount of work as an office would require, but it has it's own little requirments that can stress someone out just the same.

Some people just dont understand b/c they just associate staying at home to be just lounging around lol

Answer 6

That's right Girl, You hold your head up to the working SNOB Moms.You have a job also.I am a working Mom outside of the home and I know that stay at home Moms work their butts off.Your day never ends when ours end at 5.You are the FIRST one to rise and the LAST to Bed I bet! I do not understand some women,We do what we can and have to. But I would like to Thank You also for not looking down your nose at those Type of working Moms.They know they would rather be at home so it maybe jealously!! God Bless You & Yours

Answer 7

I am also a stay at home mom, I've had rude comments from family members, and all kinds of judgement placed upon me. However I know that they are just jealous! Haters is what they are, my kids are clean fed, and they are in the best hands ever MINES! my kids are polite, well behaved, and they appreciate everything I do for them. People tell me all the time that my kids are so HAPPY , and they are always smiling. I wouldn't have it any other way . I might be in jeans and a t shirt everyday, how ever my kids have everything they need and more. Iv'e learned not to let other peoples judgement effect me, you should tell them to look at their own situation before they judge you!

Answer 8

I applaud Stay At Home Moms!!!!! My wife of almost 23 yrs is a stay at home mom. As you we had to sacrafice some of the finer things in life as a one income family. But, the greatest payment is now knowing that my kids (24 and 20 yrs of age) are both GOOD PEOPLE!!! They are not spoiled, they are not needy. They are considerate of others and value the FAMILY VALUES that they have been raised up with. Believe it or not, right now, my family is still in tact and they both still live at home. Not because they are lazy and dont want to move out, they both have good jobs with benefits. Its just that they are comfortable at home, we all respect each other and have a strong family.

I attribute all of this to MOM, the most important factor of anyones life!!!!

Its the greatest sacrafice for a lady to become a mommy!!! In doing so, she parts with her wishes and desires and raises her children the best way she can.

Stay at home moms ROCK!!!!

Answer 9

i don't judge anyone, it's a very personal decision and I applaud you for making sacrifices so your children can have nice things. Some people have to work, I could never afford to stay at home, we would have to move into a studio with one room if I gave up work, much as I would love to be a stay at home mum some people have no choice at all.

Answer 10

There was time in my life when I was a stay at home mom. One day a woman tried to bash me for that. I told her, and right to her face, that since she thinks it's wrong for me to stay home without brining home money, she can pay me for the work I do in my house. And I will only accept cash from her because I saw in the newspaper where her a.s.s got sued for writing hot checks. And I have no problem cutting that article out, framing it and giving it to her. After that, she never ever ran her mouth to me again.