i think my mum is having an affair?

Question

my mum has been havng phone calls and texts off this person and i don't know how to talk to her about it as it could ruin my parents realtionship, and we don't have a good mother daughter relationship as it is. its killing me inside, is it wrong if i see a counsiller?

Answer 1

PLEASE go see a counsler for suggestions and to see how to improve your relationship with your Mother. Later on, see if your Mother will join you in some counseling sessions. Don't be so hard on yourself. If your Mom is having an affair, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! This may have been going on for years and maybe you Dad isn't faithful either. On the otherhand, maybe there isn't an affair and you are just reading into things. It really isn't your business to be snooping, wouldn't you be mad if she did this to you? This is what she'd say if you confront her I think. She may get very angry. Your parents are both adults and I'm sure that if they aren't getting along, they are aware of it. It's up to you Mom to say something to your Dad if she is cheating. What exactly do the texts say or are the phone calls about? Do you even know? They may be nothing. I'd worry more right now about you and your Mom's relationship. You only have one and you sound young and that you REALLY need her in your life right now! You are so absolutely right about seeing a counsler though! If you can't afford one on your own, see a school counsler (if your are school age), see if there is a family member who'd pay for one and just tell them you are having 'school problems' like maybe an Aunt or Grandma. Try a hotline for troubled teens and see if they know of a counsler or support group. It is so great to see you realize you need counseling, now if only your Mom would do this too, right? Good luck and don't be so rough on yourself! Take time to do things you enjoy and hang out with those who don't stress you out like friends and even pets!

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with seeing a counselor, if it affects you in a serious way. It's a very tough situation for you. You don't know whether to confront your mom or to tell your dad. It's best you take advice from a counselor. There are some questions you have to ask yourself:

Are mom and dad having problems in the relationship right now?

Is the person who sends mom something a friend or a lot more than that?

Can i be able to talk to mom about it, ask her questions and clear this up with out dad knowing?

Keep asking yourself questions and look at the situation. You shouldn't beat yourself up over this, it's between your parents and i know you care, but sweetheart, don't harm yourself no matter what the outcome and don't think it's your fault. Check things out with a counselor and see what you can do. Good luck.

Answer 3

"A whisper in the ear can be heard a mile'. She will make a mistake and you or your father will find out in time. It may be sooner or later but she will slip and the whole family will know. Don't hate as that will damage you. Don't say a word to you Dad yet until you have proof. Above all, Forgive and try to forget by placing other thoughts in your mind. Don't talk about it as it will replace your mind with the hate.

However wrong she might be. See a Family Therapist, a good one.
I'm sorry your relationship is bad with your mother but have faith in God and yourself for doing the best thing possible. Your mother is feeling her conscience and this will haunt her the rest of her life. You see she is also being punished.

In the meantime build up support for you dad by building him up a lot, you will see him build up confidence to handle any thing that comes his way.

If that doesn't work write again in your question and tell us how it's going.and a few more details.

God be with you and your dad!

Answer 4

If you are under 18, there is very little that you will be able to do. Noone can keep up a lie forever though, so if your mom is cheating, it will be discovered eventually. I feel sad for you and your situation, but you can make it through. I think you have the right idea about seeing a counsellor. Either that, or someone you really trust. The counsellor is better because they will listen to you without any preconceived notions.

Answer 5

NO, It IS RIGHT to see a counsilor. I would even suggest and reccomend that you DO SEE ONE. There are many out there who are good. I would suggest that you find one that YOU are comfortable talking with.
I myself WOULD speak to my mom at some point. I as a kid was in the same situation. My mom was screwing around on my dad. My brother and I (I was 15 borther 16) confronted this guy one afternoon when this guy came by the house. He didn't expect us to be there, WE chaced this guy and he did nothing but ran. He NEVER came back by the hosue and my mother eventually broke off the relationship. My mom and dad are still married. Mom is now in nursing home and will die there as she can never come home, But they are still together as my dad goes to see her several times a week.

Answer 6

hi - i'm sorry approximately your concern. even though it fairly is all somewhat imprecise, to be truthful. Mum is a grown up lady. you may desire to appreciate her privateness, relatively. i'm no longer able to have faith that your nan sat your mum and you little ones down at the same time, and tackled her approximately her cheating, in the previous. it fairly is extraordinarily undesirable behaviour out of your nan. even in the adventure that your mum and step-dad did get divorced, you may see him. he's no longer getting a divorce from you! So do no longer concern approximately that. I easily might attempt and end searching for issues, if I have been you. end protecting on at your mum, end observing her, end listening to human beings's gossip approximately her. And maximum relatively do no longer say something to your doorstep-dad. He ought to get very indignant with you; he may even understand what she is like (allegedly) and that they could have reached an wisdom between them. At 14, you may desire to be out and approximately along with your stable friends and having a effective, relaxing life. you ought to additionally be working perplexing at school, and filling your spare time with pastimes, activities, friends - something, different than this obsessing approximately mum. attempt to understand that she is a man or woman, packed with failings and weaknesses. She isn't suitable and he or she never HAS been. The 'data' you have is extraordinarily undesirable, and a few of it stretches decrease back years. a great form of the information must be incorrect. it fairly is all some distance too dodgy to be nerve-racking you like this. enable her be. If she IS a cheating spouse, she'll get her comeuppance ultimately, yet no longer from you, it fairly is too interfering and too painful for you. Get busy along with your individual life; it relatively is going to be plenty extra relaxing than attempting to be your mom's reformatory warder! each and all the suitable to you.

Answer 7

yeah you should probably see a counselor and if you do talk to you mother just let me tell you that sometimes people won't listen to good advice even when they know better.
i've seen people do stupid things and regret them later but you know you have to fight for what you have. if you think this is a phase you mom is going through then remind her of the big picture. see if your parents can go to counseling also. maybe she just needs attention from you dad.

I hope that your parents can work this out. God bless you.

Answer 8

No way, sounds like you need to talk to someone. I dont know if your dad is the right choice or if your counselor is. Whatver it is, dont keep it inside if it hurts that bad. And dont talk to friends at school, they always let things slip. Counselars usually know what to say diplomatically, but they cant really resolve much. Ultimately i think its up to your mom to decide what shes going to do. Maybe if you told her what you thought she would cut it out, sounds pretty humiliating to be discovered by your daughter.

Answer 9

No it is not wrong, but try not to concern yourself with it. I found out my mom was having an internet affair and once she found out I knew about it she decided to tell my father as well. I believe you should talk to her about it only if you have "SOLID" proof. Phone calls and texting isn't solid and try not to snoop. Sins always rears it's ugly head eventually so if she is having an affair you will find out and then you can discuss it. I would advise talking to your friends and getting it off your chest. Otherwise don't worry about it.

Answer 10

Given the fact that you don't know, it could be assumption and even if you did ...what is your place in your parent's marital business? What is your relationship to your mother and father - are you their daughter and they are your parents? I don't see anything about marital business in a parent/daughter relationship. The relationship between them is their marriage which you don't belong over-stepping your boundaries into. They are tenders to their marriage..not U.