Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy says, "Hey, Jasper, there's the Officer's Club. Let's you and me stop in."
"But we're privates," protests Jasper.
"We're sergeants now," says Leroy, pulling him inside. "Now, Jasper, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drink."
"But we's privates," says Jasper.
"You blind?" asks Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We're sergeants now."
So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy. "Your cute," she says, "and I'd like to screw you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Leroy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Jasper, go look in the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."
So Jasper goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Leroy the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Leroy is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Jasper," he says, "why'd you give me the okay?"
"Well, Leroy, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhea affects only the privates. " He points to his stripes. . . . "But we're sergeants now."
2007-09-28 21:58:02 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Ha! ha! ha! very good for a saturday morning...
2007-09-28 22:01:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Heehee, silly Jasper! Have a star
2007-09-28 23:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by Purdycat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get " In Country " Flying Fish Records Then play: " Friendly FAC and Green Beret ". Now THAT is funny! ( sung to the tune " Wreck of the ol 97 " ) Friendly FAC, friendly FAC, this is Green Beret We see you flying high above, out of danger's way. If you can spare a moment to help your fellow man, I wish you'd try to find me, and tell me where I am. Green Beret, oh, Green Beret, this is your friendly FAC You see me flying overhead while you're still in the sack. But still I'll try to find you, and set you people straight But hurry, 'cause it's steak night, and I don't want to be late. Friendly FAC, friendly FAC, this is Green Beret We appreciate your helping send us on our way; But I really wish you'd think of danger on the ground Tromping through the jungle, while you just FAC around. Green Beret, oh, Green Beret, this is your friendly FAC If you no longer need me, I'm gonna head on back; I'll settle for a souvenir, whatever you can bag An AK-47 or a bloodstained VC flag. Friendly FAC, oh friendly FAC, we've just come under fire! And if you cannot help us, we'll join the angel's choir. Automatic weapons, we're really getting hit So hurry with the fighters, 'cause we are in deep ****! Green Beret, you were cut out, I read you "numbah ten," The C Team's telling dirty jokes, so please transmit again; You've got Charlie cornered? Please don't let him get away I've sent a call for fighters, but it may take all day. Friendly FAC, oh friendly FAC, please get your finger out, We've tangled with a regiment, of that there is no no doubt; If you can get us out of Charlie's fearful deadly grip We'll give you FACs a grateful square in our comic strip. Green Beret, oh, Green Beret, this is your friendly FAC Let me take some photographs, in case you don't get back. Turn this way a little. Hold it. That's the style. You're on Candid Camera, so let me see you smile. Green Beret! Hey, Green Beret! They're shooting at this FAC! I hear the bullets whistling by, I hear the rifles' crack. I'm missing my siesta; I need a taste of rum, If you no longer need me, I think I'll head for home. Oh, thank God! Our fighters now are circling overhead Charlie's going to wish that he had stayed at home in bed. He's going to meet his maker in the Land that is to be We're going to blow his body up and set his spirit free. Friendly FAC and fighters, I hope you see our smoke; That first strike came too close to us, it really was no joke! Green Beret, we're holding high. The FAC, he got it wrong He thought that you were marking the position of the Cong. Fighters, this is friendly FAC, please hold it high and dry, We can get this straightened out, if we all really try. It really doesn't matter if I mark the friend or foe 'Cause you can't hit a cows rear end, no matter where you go. Fighters, you're cleared in again, just do the best you can The situation's all fouled up, beyond the help of man. Just bomb the general area, and when the smoke clears out, Well, we'll just count the bodies, and let God sort 'em out. Now most of us are safe at home, we beat the dreaded Cong, We simply let it all hang out, to help the war along. Friendly FAC and fighters will always save the day, Killing off the Charlies, to the last damned Green Beret. Note: FAC is Forward Air Controller, the airborne observer who controls supporting fire for a unit in the field. Recorded on In Country
2016-05-21 03:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HaHaHa brilliant! 10/10 star!
2007-09-29 03:54:41 · answer #4 · answered by Deedee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What goes around comes around. Very good
2007-09-29 02:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty Katty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
2007-09-28 23:21:26 · answer #6 · answered by cats 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Great
just spluttered my coffee on the floor!
2007-09-28 22:30:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Awwwwww sh*t hun, just wet myself laughing at that one, pmsl
Have a star
xxxxxxxxxxxx
2007-09-29 02:43:30 · answer #8 · answered by tastybits 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's why they're in the Army.
2007-09-28 22:43:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i haved stared this one and if i could star it again i would its that funny
2007-10-03 01:22:32 · answer #10 · answered by janine b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋