I am a 19 year old and I have been going to community college for over a year now. I have told both my parents for the last 6 months of my interest in joining the Marine Corps Reserve. My father has been more than supportive about this plan while my mother is opposite to the idea, wanting me to go away to college and getting a degree in construction management, (which I myself really desire to obtain). I (as well as my recruiter) have talked long and hard to her about the Marine Reserves yet it seems she still does not understand why I would want to do this. Growing impatient with her, I joined without her and my fathers knowing. I finally told my father and my mother a month latter, (three days ago), and now she can barely stand the sight of me. I try to comfort her by saying that I will, no matter what happens, finish college and get my much wanted degree but she still does not understand. My father though does, and believes it is a rather noble thing to do. She seems as if she has done something wrong in raising me, I know this because my father told me after he had a nights long discussion with her about it and she even said to him, “how could I have raised a son that wants to kill people.” I have told her for months and have even told her this last night that I am doing this not because of benefits or “the thrill to kill people” but because of the nobility of the cause and of it being a great way (maybe the best [I don’t know]) in becoming a stronger person. I told her if I wanted benefits I wouldn’t have joined the reserve, (only making $350 a month for school [which really comes down to nothing when talking about most universities]) and I would have joined an NROTC program at a university right away, (which I also plan on doing when I go back to school). Now I am not asking if I have made a bad decision, (because I know it was a right decision) and I am not asking if it was wrong of me to go behind my parents back and join the military (because I know it was a wrong decision) but I am asking what should I do to comfort my mother (a stubborn woman) when she does not understand why I am doing this and help both of us sleep at night. Thank you for your time and answers, I really do appreciate it.
-and the fools say I support our troops but it is not something for my son/daughter.
2007-09-28 20:39:06 · 7 answers · asked by IKE 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
dude, I just spent 4 years on active duty in the Marine Corps, I know what you're going through. My dad was the same way, supportive of my decision. Secondly, this is your life, and you need to do what you need to do. Through my 4 year enlistment in a combat related MOS (military job), I went to Iraq 0 times, didn't kill a single person....in all honesty, your mother is just being ignorant about the mission of the Military.....it's not about killing Iraqi's anymore, trust me. It'd be good to talk to a USMC recruiter, have him come to your home and talk with your mother and father, it's probably the best option considering that there aren't that many tools out there for a civilian looking to join the Military. Also have your mom register www.marinemomsonline.net, it's a website for all those worrying mothers to get together and answer questions about their sons, the military etc....
Watch out for those recruiters though, they can be sneaky lying people....and if you do join, thanks for doing what most will not, and ask the recruiter about an enlistment bonus, usually you can get about $2-4 thousand just for asking about it. Good luck and Semper Fi.
2007-09-28 20:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Bottom line is.. you can't you are an adult, and all you need to do is tell her so, respectfully, that you ARE an adult and capable of making your own decisions about your own life. If she cannot respect that, then you are sorry, but it's how it is.
she will either come around, or she won't. Hopefully it's more a matter of ignorance about what the Marines really are as opposed to philosophical opposition.
One look at you in your Dress uniform should take her breath away though...that uniform is HOT..and I say this as a Naval Officer's wife whose husband looks smokin' in his Mess Dress uniform *drool*
2007-09-29 03:20:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a mom with all 4 of our kids in, I understand how she feels. Only difference is, I supported my kids when they went in.
My advise is not to keep talking to her about it. Just let her know what day you leave and that you would like her to take you to the drop off point that you leave for basic. If she says she can't send you off, tell her you understand.
While at basic, send her as many letters as you are able to get out. I know training leaves very little time, but do what you can. Try not to say anything negative about training (how hard it is, how tired you are, etc).
Eventually, she will come around. Give her time. When she comes to your graduation and sees you in uniform, she will melt. In no time she will be telling everyone how proud she is.
2007-09-29 00:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by Diane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably done a pretty fair job of raising you if, at some point, you can confidently take a course of action that she didn't choose for you. You're becoming what every successful parent seeks to make of their child, an independent human being. She'll come around in time.
2007-09-29 01:26:53 · answer #4 · answered by gunplumber_462 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing she will come around she is your mother after all after she goes to your basic graduation and sees that you really want to do this it may change her mind it may not. But the bottom line is your are 19 times to let go of what your mom or dad want you to do yes there guidance is still important but you have to live your life for you not for anybody else. Let you mom know that that you are your own person.
2007-09-28 20:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by Shinobie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dude... tell her that you arent killing people...but your making the world a better place...... tell her that it takes someone really brave to do just what your doing and that what you are doing is beautiful...... she is probably just worried about your own safety and doest know how to react to it...just dont let the marine life take you away from your mother....... allways be there for her... tell her some one has got to do the job and that it has to be some one dedicated just like yourself to do the job... good luck.....
2007-09-28 20:44:33 · answer #6 · answered by jarrod e 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it was a stupid decision and she's dissapointed in you. she has a lot of fear , will you come home with one let or in a box for her to bury ? none of the kids going think this will happen to them. and these young kids / think it's gonna be like a video game. their well developed thumbs are not going to help them. i'd apologize to her / tell her you love her and you hope to come home with a nice bride(assuming your straight). If you are gay/ just leave that part out / you'll break her heart more.
write when you can to her. reconsider the decision if yiou can / it is the most idiotic thing you could have done. a mother will always love you know matter how stupid you act. this is the beauty of motherhood
2007-09-28 21:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by Mildred S 6 · 0⤊ 5⤋