I am 22 yr old male. I moved out of home for reasons of not feeling connected at home anymore and wanting to branch out into the world. My folks are still married and I am an only child. They guilt tripped me for a long time and said things like if you move out you won't get your BA degree. This I tried to tell them but it was not an option. I moved out with my GF which they don't know very well, I told them I was going to find a roomate and they are preterved over this. They don't include her in things but her family includes me in everything. I really love her and she loves me back but our actual relationship is a bit premature. Everything is good except for my parents contact with her and back. Should I try and push the relationship or just watch them both suffer.
Also my Dad is unemployed and my Mom doesn't make much money so I was paying. When I left his words were "looks like you made your escape kid." They rarely call, though I am in school and are angry what to do??
2007-09-28 17:49:58 · 11 answers · asked by Beano4aReason 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe your parents arent including her because they are self concious about their situation, remember parents are just people with the same insecurities as the rest of us. I went through a period where i was unemployed and I found myself drawing back from people (even family) simply because i was embarassed and was afraid that my situation would embarass those i cared about. Talk to them about it when your girlfriend is not present.
2007-09-28 18:06:04 · answer #1 · answered by Bishop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes courage to make a big change in your life. Breaking away from your parents is one of the most important big changes. It sounds to me as though your parents aren't supportive of you at all, and your gf's parents are. I'm sorry that your parents are such a disappointment, but please count your blessings and let your gf and her parents know how glad you are to have them in your life.
It is no surprise your parents aren't interested in your gf since they're hardly even interested in you except to cut you down and make you feel insecure. I know it hurts, but it might be best to keep MORE space between yourself and your parents for a while. This will allow everyone to get a little more perspective on the situation and decide whether or not there are problems that are even worth working out or if you should just cut your losses!
It's sad when the parents are more immature than their children. It will drive them crazy when they realize that they can't control you any more. Hopefully, if you can hang tough for a while, then with some luck maybe they will grow up.
2007-09-29 00:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by Julie L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good thing to branch out on your own. You're 22 and old enough to be out of the house. I think sometimes it's a little harder for parents with only one child to let go. Understand that what your parents are going through is obviously hard for them. That being said, they are adults and can take care of themselves. Reassure them that you are staying in school (and DO it! It's a valid concern) and be firm but not pushy about your relationship with your girlfriend. Protect her from your parents if they make comments and such. Let them know that you wont accept it. Let them know that for now, you come as a package. I think what your father said is really, really sad. :(
I think you should call a little more often. Don't let them think that their worst nightmare (you alienating them) is coming true. These are your parents. They have loved you and supported you. Give back a little of what they gave to you. It's not the most perfect way to leave the house but it's what you have to work with. Talk to them. Let them express how they feel and let them know how you feel. Try to treat them as you want to be treated, with love and respect. Hopefully it wont take them too long to come around. Good luck and hang in there! :)
2007-09-29 01:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a grown man. It was time for you to move out and live your life. I think they had become too dependent on you and didnt want you to leave. Dont try to push the relationship that will make it worse. I would try talkin to my parents and tell them how you feel. They do not have to shower her with love but just respect her and make her feel welcome. Every family is different so try not to compare you and your gf families. That will make it seem worse. Good Luck
2007-09-29 00:56:09 · answer #4 · answered by Keisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to reach out to your parents. Open the lines of communication, but don't sacrifice what you love in life for their selfishness. They want to keep you at home to provide them another outlet for their negativity. Don't let them do that, but you are still their son and they are still your parents. Don't force a relationship between them and your girlfriend, or they will end up spoiling that, too. Tell them that you would love for them to spend time with her, that she makes you happy, but that you don't think they will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. If you can somehow heal the relationship between you and your parents, then maybe someday you can introduce your girlfriend to them, but for now, you don't want to give them the opportunity to drive a wedge between you and your girlfriend. Tell your girlfriend the truth about your parents. That you would love for her to have a relationship with them, but you refuse to allow them to treat her the way that they do. And until they can respect her the way she deserves to be respected, you will minimize contact between her and them.
2007-09-29 00:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by lordmisrule2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard for some parents to let go. I live on a limited income and still help my children out. I may live on peanut butter, eggs, and cereals, but I have my self esteem. My children are set and do not NEED my help but if there are problems, I help them. So, do not concentrate on your parents but your life. You deserve to be happy as they do.
2007-09-29 01:01:47 · answer #6 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL I THINK U NEED 2 FIND A WAY 2 GET EVERYONE 2GETHER AND TALK ABOUT IT. TELL EACH SIDE THAT U CANT DEAL WITH THEM IF THEY DONT WANT TO DO WHATS RIGHT. LET UR PARENTS KNOW THEY NEED TO BE HAPPY THAT U R HAPPY. AND LET YOUR DAD KNOW U WERE GONNA HAVE 2 MOVE OUT SOMETIME. U R GROWN SO U AHVE TO TAKE UR RESPONSIBILITIES!
2007-09-29 00:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by Jasmin H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure they know you love them, help them out when you can and be certain to refrain from arguments about you living on your own. Make it short and respectful "It is time for me to be on my own." And change the subject.
If they continue to avoid or ignore your girlfriend, I would let them know that if she is not made welcome, you don't feel it is right to attend on your own.
Best of luck! This is a tough situation.
2007-09-29 00:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about giving it more time, and not adding more salt to the wounds. Time will heal these types of relationship problems.
2007-09-29 00:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Bambi C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let time pass by think about important things and live your life.
2007-09-29 00:57:22 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋