Tonight I met this guy named Chris and I invited him to dinner tomorrow so we can get to know each other and hang out. Being that I asked, do I pay? Or do we both share the tab being that we are only aquaintences?
2007-09-28 17:09:49 · 21 answers · asked by :) 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You asked, you pay. If you wish, you can broach the subject of a dutch treat, BEFORE you leave the house
2007-09-28 17:30:53 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The responsibility for payment always rests with the person issuing the invitation, and an invitation to dinner is probably the most formal of invitations, so this is espcially true of a dinner invitation.
If you say to someone "We should geta coffee/lunch sometimes" and they agree, and you say "What about tomorrow", it would most usually mean sharing the bill.
However, in today's world, invitations may be considered more casually, so when the bill comes, your friend may very well offer to pay his own way.
You can accept his offer, or decline it politely, saying "Why don't you get the bill next time".
However, when you invite someone, it's always best to be prepared to pay ... that's the rule. You can break it if both parties agree, but you can't expect someone else to be prepared to do so unless you mutually agree beforehand.
Cheers :-)
2007-09-28 19:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by thing55000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I, a guy, were to ask a woman I just met out to dinner, for whatever reason, you can bet I'd be sure I had money for the both of us, plus a good tip, before I ever asked her. If this is truly an "equal" society where women get all the "privileges" that men supposedly have always had, I don't see why they wouldn't get all the responsibilities men have had for millenia. As "Hey it's Zoey" said, you ask, you pay. And contrary to what Maria says, it is a big deal. If I took a woman out to dinner, I would resist most attempts she made to pay for the dinner. It's not a "male ego" thing. It's a responsibility and sociability thing. God Bless you.
2007-09-28 17:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEING you asked, YOU pay. Doing otherwise is playing on your gender and you should be ashamed of that.
If, as the other lady said, you allow the man to pay, it makes you sound pretty CHEAP, and I don't mean cheap in the money sense.
I cannot fathom some of these answers. If a man asked you to dinner and then during "appetizers or drinks" asked YOU to pay 1/2, what would you do? Be totally pissed off I'd think. If you want to be treated like an equal member of society, you must take on that role. Do not invite, unless you
WANT to pay, not hoping the MAN will take care of the "poor little helpless girl who needs money to buy make-up and panty-hose, etc.
2007-09-28 18:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the one who initiated the invitation shoulders the bill. But nowadays (when times are hard) - it's understandable and only right to share the tab. Before your start the actual dinner, or during appetizers or drinks - you may casually ask him if its okay you both split the tab. If he says yes - then good for you but if ever his facial reaction and body language says he doesn't want to share the bill - then be sure you bring enough cash and just take it as a learning experience. You do not want to jeopardize the new friendship by putting yourself in an awkward situation, right?
2007-09-28 17:43:22 · answer #5 · answered by addicted too 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion, the person who asks should be willing to pay. But you might find that the man will expect to pay for the woman. If he offers, I certainly wouldn't turn him down. When I was in a situation like this before, I received a good piece of advice that we should just discuss it beforehand so there are no surprises or misunderstandings when the check comes.
2007-09-28 18:46:38 · answer #6 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are getting to know someone as a friend, you should each pay your own way.
When we are getting to know a new person, it isn't appropriate to ask them back to your place for dinner. A public place is correct. However, both parities have decided to give the new friendship a try, so both parties should contribute.
If it is a dating thing, that is different. And Guys, sorry if you hate me, but it is usually the guy who pays. A man who allows a woman to pick up the check, when he is interested in her, is saying that she is mediocre, and that he wouldn't go out of his way to try to impress her or win her. It is basic animal instinct. The dominant party tries to impress and win the attention of a mate. Failure to do so means he hasn't met his match and is making due for the moment.
Women, if you accept this, don't complain you are being taken for granted a year from now!
2007-09-28 17:22:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you initiated the dinner plans, I think it's only proper and appropriate for you to pay. If he insists otherwise when the bill comes, then you two can just plan it from there (you, him, going dutch..)
2007-09-29 03:01:39 · answer #8 · answered by milly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask, you pay, but he will probably offer to pay at least his half. You should try to pay, but don't insist if he wants to pay. It's not a big deal. The fact that you're not dating has nothing to do with it. If you asked a female friend out to eat, you should pay for her as well.
2007-09-28 17:12:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Go dutch", meaning split the bill, if possible. Or bring enough money to pay both dinners, just in case. If he wants to be traditional and be a gentleman and he offers to pay, let him! :-)
2007-09-28 17:24:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋