So, I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We want to get married, but we don't have a timeline for when.
Anyway, I have an account on a wedding website. I basically go on their and talk to the other brides and even ask basic planning questions. Wedding just interest me...... But trust me, I don't have a dress or venue picked out. Just lots of ideas in my head.
Well, the other night I was at his house. He had to run to the grocery store, so I stayed behind and was on his computer. I signed into my wedding account and started playing around.
Well, I just realized I forgot to delete my history and signout of my account. I'm afraid, I've been caught.
He was acting a bit strange towards me today. Like something was bothering him.......I could be crazy. But, I think he found out about "my little secret hobby"
What do I do?
I don't want him thinking I'm PSYCHO. On the forum, I refer to him as my Fi and we are getting married in two years.
I'm stuck..
2007-09-28 17:01:18 · 17 answers · asked by Je Adore 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I really just go on the forum for fun. Lots of my friends are getting married, so I like to be "in tune" with the stuff they are talking about too.
Like I said, I go on there and talk about general ideas and such......but I haven't planned anything and don't have an expectations either. He has to ask before I have those.
However, from the outside looking in. He could take this the wrong way.
2007-09-28 17:03:02 · update #1
"Just A Girl"---we do want to get married. But, we are "we will cross that bridge, when it comes people"
I just don't want him to think ALL I think about is weddings. We are, about 2 years from even being able to afford a wedding,etc.
So, I feel my premature "hobby" might make me seem like I'm "pushing" for something that we aren' ready (financially) for
2007-09-28 17:08:22 · update #2
I just call him "Fi" to fit in on the forum.
2007-09-28 17:09:41 · update #3
well - i wouldn't say psycho but maybe he feels like you're pushing him...just talk to him about it. maybe he's acting strange because he has a ring to surprise you with and then saw you on there and now is wondering if you know or not. IMO - let him "catch" you on there and laugh it off saying its a fun hobby - what girl doesn't want to daydream.
good luck
2007-09-28 17:07:23 · answer #1 · answered by mender_bender2001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the local laws, she may be able to get away with this because it was in her own home. The boyfriend can use the incident for further custody hearings in divorce court. Just my opinion here, but save yourself and let the ex-wife have him. Now while you are dating this is just a nasty inconvenience, but it will escalate if you two get married or live together. The son will always be #1 -- whether you agree or not -- and therefore boyfriend will always be attached to the ex-wife, no matter how crazy she acts. She will make your life together a F***n Living H**L. Crazy ex-wives tend to act up around dinner time, at holidays, and when you & your man decide to have a romantic evening. If she is pulling this now, what do you think she will do if you and him get together. Don't believe me, do an internet search on cases where ex-wife physically attacked/killed her replacement.
2016-05-21 02:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone in a serious relationship with a SO (regardless of planning to get married to them or not in the future) has though about wedding plans. It's totally normal for you to do this, but unfortunately, many guys don't know that.
If he asks about it or brings it up casually, you can mention that you don't want to get married anytime soon, and think a couple of years would be a good time to even start planning. There's nothing else you can really do, unless you want an awkward conversation haha.
Don't worry about it too much, this probably happens a lot more than you think.
Good luck!
2007-09-30 14:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal to do that. Too bad you've been "hiding" it from your "fi". You don't need to explain yourself. Next time you are on the computer just casually mention that there are a lot of girls like you on the forum. Even if you don't think there are, I am sure there are a ton.
My sister and two of her friends used to go try on wedding dresses for fun. It's a girl thing pure and simple.
Next time he oogles a woman, and thinks he hasn't been caught you can just point out that some things men do, because they are men. And women plan weddings that won't happen (you've probably planned about 30 themes by now), just because they are women.
2007-09-28 17:36:17 · answer #4 · answered by zeebarista 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he's acting strange!
If he read what you've put on the wedding website, he is feeling PRESSURED to propose to you before two years, not only that, but if you started planning who what when and where, he'll feel like he's not in control of the situation!
A wedding is to be planned by BOTH the bride AND the groom. If you've done any planning on those websites, that IMO is bad bad bad. HE should have some input as well, 50/50, which is what relationships are all about.
I think you are nuts. You are jumping the gun and most likely are scaring him off.
You are NOT engaged, even if you talk about marriage, and you do NOT know if you are getting married in two years or not.
Talk to him.
2007-09-29 12:35:22 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he doesnt bring it up, I think you should. Instead of asking him if he discovered whats on the computer, just straight out tell him youve been having fun on this one site where people plan weddings. You like to go on if youre bored at work or just killing time. Just say you have been interested in peoples weddings for a long time, and you like seeing what people are doing, what fashions are popular now. This is the truth, isnt it? Its not so bad.
If he looks alarmed, tell him your visiting the site is not about him. You just enjoy hearing about weddings. And one day you will be happy to plan your own.
2007-09-28 17:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was about to say that you had nothing to worry about until you said that you were referring to him as your fiance on the forum. I understand why you did it, but he may not. He probably thinks it's disrespectful that you're planning a wedding for him without cluing him in (even if you're not). I doubt he looked you up in the forum, but you should bring it up to him. You can joke about it: "Guess what I did? Just for fun I signed up on a wedding forum and have been discussing bridal ideas with brides. Don't worry. I'm not planning your fate just yet. I just thought it would be fun". Don't make a big deal out of it and he probably won't.
2007-09-28 17:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you are interested in weddings and just finding out things for in the future when you are ready to get married. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you. My mother is always looking at bridal magazines and internet sites just because she likes weddings that's all. If he takes it the wrong way, he is over-reacting and being silly for no reason at all. It's not like you're looking at porn or how to make a bomb or something.
2007-09-28 17:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you guys are going to be getting married if it be in 2 years or next month. you as a bride to be should be looking at that kind of stuff. it talks a lot to plan a wedding so the sooner you start the better. if he love you that much he will get it just talk to him if you cant talk to him about that kind of thing then yo should rethink the whole wedding thing.
2007-09-28 17:40:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
why do you have to keep it from him? if you think its just your "hobby" and just wants to acquire information about weddings for future use, then there should be no problem then. why dont you just tell him about it but explain to him clearly that it just interests you and you just want to know about it for "future use"... you stress on the future thing coz he might freak out. you said that marriage has been on your discussion list, so why dont you just discuss it with him openly? you dont have to hide it from him. coz if you do, he might have doubts about you and might think that you are hiding something from him. he might feel cheated... an open communication is the key.
2007-09-28 17:23:56 · answer #10 · answered by brazenlove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋