Having children. What do you think an appropriate age would be to determine whether or not you want children..

Question

and Im talking permanent such as having your "tubes tied"... please respond! I am 24......and right now feel that if I ever have a child... I would like to adopt. I am very comfortable in my relationship with my boyfriend of whom I have been with for 4 years. We see ourselves being married within 2 years. This is more of a personal decision.....Do you think I am too young to make such a permanent decision???? Will I change my mind when I am 27 or 32? Please give me your feedback along with any questions/concerns/opinions! I am very excited to see how you respond. Thanks! Sandra

Answer 1

I was 22 when I first tried to get a vasectomy. I couldnt find a doctor to give me one; they said I was too young. Im lucky I didnt end up a father! I decided to try again at age 28 and got a vasectomy. It is the single smartest thing I ever did. Consider that no form of birth control is 100% affective. Consider also that recent studies say having a child will cost you about $250,000 over the years. Consider that this planet needs more humans like a drowning man needs a glass of water. And that, as you said, if you want a kid, you prefer to adopt.

I've read that half of all the pregancies in America are accidents.

People always talk the possibility of wanting kids and not being able to have them. I thought it would be worse to have one you dont want!

Now I am 40 and I've never regretted the vasectomy for a second. Smartest thing I ever did!

Answer 2

Well, that's a hard decision. I think that you should maybe just do something a little bit less permanent until the time comes that you decide to have a baby, or just can't have one. Maybe an IUD would be ideal?
I am 20 years old, have two children, and one on the way. I haven't gotten my tubes tied because I think about how devastating it would be to want another one in ten years and not be able to have one. Adoption is nice, but being able to carry a baby and go through labor, etc. is the one really special thing about being a woman. Some people think so, anyway, but some people despise the idea. It really is a neat experience though, and I know there are hard times during being pregnant and breastfeeding, etc. but after you're pregnant and that baby comes out, it's the most amazing feeling in the whole world. On the other hand, maybe make sure that you're going to be with this man and maybe even get married first and make sure you know about childcare and how your life will be with a child before you have one. I wish I had gotten a chance to plan except I had three beautiful mistakes! Haha hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 3

Well I guess I'll make my imput! I've had my tubes tied! I have also had an IUD! The IUD was very painful FOR ME. As soon as it was put in, I had nothing but severe pain with it everyday for 3 months! Now I have had 2 children and one miscarriage. So by age and how many children I have had, I have not been discouraged to have my tubes tied. I do not want the responsibilites of another child...two is enough for me! Thats my personal view..but you--you have not had any children yet...so I say it is way too early for that decision yet! Have a child and experience motherhood for the first time and see from there....(this does not mean get pregnant now)...when you are ready to have a child ..then go from there..in the mean time try finding a birth control that you feel more secure in..talk to your doctor about your concerns about pregnancy and how you can prevent it...as in..what KIND of birth control pill is best..there are so many how there..and then there are other female forms of birth control...GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

It depends on the maturity of the children and the laws in your state. Some states do not allow children that young to be left alone for any amount of time. I was a latchkey kid from the time I was 7 years old and I was mature enough to handle it. Of course, this was 25 years ago. I don't think I'd leave my son home alone for an hour at that age. It's not about age (aside from the law). Would your children know what to do in an emergency? Would they know how to handle a stranger at the door or on the phone? Would they know how to detect the smell of gas or what to do if the carbon monoxide detector went off? Would the spend the entire time watching TV, eating junk, and not doing their homework? Would they fight with each other? Can they memorize phone numbers and their address? Could they speak clearly to a 911 operator? Are they mature enough to be trained in first aid? Those are the things I can think of.

Answer 5

I do think you are too young right now, you will change so many time during your lifetime. Wait a few more years. And if at 27 or 32 you still do not want to bare children, then do get your tubes tied. It is much safer in the long run than birth control pills. Just give your self a little more time. Personally I think 32 is the better age.

Answer 6

I felt the same way at 24. I did adopt twin boys (with my husband) at 34, and have just had a biological child at 37. So my famous last words of never wanting kids were quickly swallowed. Even now that I will absolutely no ways have more kids, they are a LOT of work at any age, my doctor suggested I wait until 42 to have my tubes tied. She has implanted an IUD and I am good to go for 5 years. Don't make it permanent, you never know how things might change over time.

Answer 7

It's entirely possible you could change your mind. If anyone has the surgery, it should be the boyfriend -- it's easier (he can be out of the hospital the same day), and easier to reverse.

Have you tried the different kinds of birth control out there? There are some really good ones that are almost "forgettable."

I'd say age 35 is a good age to make that sort of decision. But right now, you have at least 15 fertile years left -- who knows what will happen? I know a woman who had her first baby at 39, and there are many, many women who wait until they are in their 40s. I think 24 is too early to shut that particular door.

But, it's really up to you. I think if you have doubts at all, you should wait and see. Tube-tieing is major surgery.

Answer 8

I think that just based on you asking this question it means you shouldn't take that step. Why tie your tubes anyways? You dont need to tie them to adopt, you can still do that and still have the option to have your own. I think it's wonderful that you're wanting to do that, but don't do something permanent until you can know that you will without a doubt not regret it EVER. And keep in mind the possibility that you may not end up with the person you are with now ( death, illness, break-up, etc.) then would you still have the same outlook? I wouldn't advise it, but it's obviously your decision.

Answer 9

I wouldn't make such a permanent dicision now, because you could change your mind. You are at a good age to have kids. I say the younger you are the better because you have a lot more energy. Also, if you know you don't want kids, just use birth control until you are completely sure. Then make your dicision. Anyway. I hope I helped a little bit. Good luck!

Answer 10

Hey. I got married when I was 26. I met my husband when I was 23. Well, I knew from when I was young I wanted two or three kids. Then when I met my husband and we decided to get married, we talked about having kids. We decided to try for our first baby very quickly in our marriage, we got married in August and I was pregnant by December. I had twins. I am pregnant again with twins, so we will have four kids. We are pretty sure we are done, but you never know, there maybe more. I am now 30 and loving my twins and every minute of my life!!!