I am curious? Why would the church use the bible for their reference except in the case of abuse?

Question

Then they send them to worldly counsellors and worldly shelters? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiK0tuxVL7hqRMB1Z2s2YsTd7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20070928193456AASVzLG
I do not understand this. I was abused, I was sent to the YWCA by my pastor.....there I was surrounded by gay people and given all kinds of crazy advice............wouldn't it be better to pray for people and ask God if he joined this marraige together than to just say "Oh if you are abused go to a shelter?" You are sending Christians who want Christian guidance to the world because you don't know what to say to them? You assume all marraiges with a piece of paper are from God and that the scriptures about divorce apply to those people??? How do you know that? who knows the mind of God and who has been his counsellor? Would you have chastized Jesus for picking wheat on Sunday like the Pharisees did? He WAS breaking the LAW you know!!! If you have not lived an abusive situation I suggest silence.

Well I guess the questioner removed the question already. That's too bad she sounded like she was in pain.

Christians should not be sending people to worldly counselors just because they aren't willing to explore what the bible really meant on certain issues. Our "marraige ceremonies" come from Catholicism not from the bible.........What GOD joins together would most likely go through a similar ceremony as a Jewish wedding. Are you familiar with that it's quite involved.

Saying nobody can get delivered from a bad marraige is harming the over all reputation of Christ who came to set the captives free.

This question came about because some abused woman was asking a question and some of the Christians just came down on her she can't get divorced unless there is Adultery Period. look at your BIBLE>.........Adultery is compared to being Worldly! (see the book of James) people who worshipped Idols God called them HARLOTS .......if your spouse will not bow their knee to Jesus how do you know it's not Adultery???

I am sorry about my gay comment okay? I just as a Christian was a little freaked out that there were many openly gay people at the shelter. No offense intended and I do apologize.

Answer 1

I was delivered from an abusive relationship 5 years ago. I'm convinced that it was Yahweh, and no one else that allowed me to escape alive. I moved outta state, but in my new church I did receive some help from people who became my friends. Not necessarily the pastor, but from others. Also, reading the scriptures, God gave me some great words of healing. I did go the the YMCA on my own. In fact, where I come from, I had ran to the YWCA once and they tried their best to help me. They talked with me, gave me an old cell phone that could dial 911, and were taking pictures for another battered woman who was trying to get the courts to believe she was being abused so she could be free. Once I was out, the ladies I met there made me so thankful that I had not spent as long in the abuse as some of them.
Anyways, some people may not know what to say, or know of a Christian councilor that can help. Sending you to the YMCA may have been the best solution they knew of. Would you really rather your pastor had just said, "Let's pray for you now, and they you can go home." ? He knew the situation was wrong and wanted to see you get help. Sorry the YMCA in your area pointed you down a wrong path.
Maybe God is preparing you to be that person people go to for help.

Answer 2

Shalom, friend.

Yeshua (Jesus) was not breaking the Torah (the Law). It was not wrong for Him or the disciples to take some strands of wheat and rub them between their hands for a quick snack as they walked through the field that Shabbat. What He did not do was to wash His hands in the time and manner and to the degree that the religious custom had set. He told the P'rushim (and what He taught was closer to the P'rushim's way of looking at the universe than the Tzaddikim (Sadducees). The difference was that some religious people had started to reduce the King of the Universe to a "follow all these additional rules that man has come up with or you are not holy" perspective. Yeshua did not come to do away with the Torah but to fill it full of meaning-- to show G-d's heart in what is written. Read Matthew 5-7 to see this.

Maybe there weren't experienced and good Christian counselors in the area where the people were sending the girl... or maybe the people sending the girl for counseling did not know that the Word of God is full of power.

There are many religious hypocrites running around today as well as during Yeshua's time. A real believer in Yeshua has learned to walk humbly, do justly, and love mercy-- because we all need it so much.

Shalom to you,

Beseder

Answer 3

The Bible only allows divorce in cases of adultery or fornication. However the Bible DOES allow a temporary separation for other cases such as yours. Typically, with an evil abusive husband such as that, he will eventually commit adultery before long anyway.

This situation has come up several times in my church. It is NEVER easy. Some Pastors are simply too incompetent to handle the situation and is why they recommend they go to a counselor who is trained to handle these situations. Even then as you mentioned, that sometimes results in bad advice.

God is so strict about marriage because He loves children... and wants BOTH the man and women to work it out if at all possible. A child with both parents is MUCH more likely to succeed in life than one from a broken home. I do not advocate staying in an abusive situation at all (call the police!) but separation may be the Christian solution until the man either repents and changes his ways, or leaves on his own during a separation.

The Apostle Paul does seem, as his own opinion, make allowances that may apply to your situation.

1 Cor. 7: 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Again, remember though... God really hates divorce (putting away)... it is VERY hard on the children.

Malachi 2:15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Answer 4

I know that there are very few Christian counselors. But ultimately the church should be your spiritual hospital. Not a place to go dressed up and to appear like you couldn't possibly have any problems, as we're afraid of being condemned or gossiped about. Well some call It "Sharing",same thing ! Not all churches are this way. But all churches should be a place of prayer,worship,fellowship & Healing !
Healing, meaning to meet that certain need or direct them to A Godly counselor If It Is beyond your knowledge.

Answer 5

I have been in a few abusive relationships, and I feel ya. but I can't imagine an abusive marriage. and what's wrong with being around homosexuals, their people too. the pastor can not send you there, he can recommend it, but it is your choice to follow his/her advice on the subject. use some free will for a change christian and get a therapist, and a new pastor. also some good friends who will help you out and not just nod at your every word.

Answer 6

You say "they send them" and "you are sending" and "you assume" as if every Christian in the same situation would have done the same thing.

I don't want to be insensitive....I was raped by my father (among other things) so I know what abuse is like but don't smear everyone with some prejudice JUST because it happened to YOU personally or because a few who don't do the right thing cause pain.

Answer 7

A pastor is a just a person who believes that he is called by God to be a pastor, that does not make him perfect or all of his choices the best. He is only doing the best that he can. His gifts may not be in counseling or in discerning the best place to send a trouble person.

I am real sorry this happened to you. And i pray that you are now getting better care.

Answer 8

well
First off all marriages are before God and supposed to be for life. When you get married, you are asking God to join yourself and your spouse together for life. You can not later come back and ask God if it was his will, as it was YOUR will and he did you the favor. After you are married then divorce is not his will for anyone, but sometimes it is necessary.

I don't understand why a Pastor would send you to the YWCA unless it was to get a room when the Pastor didn't have anywhere to put you.
Certainly the Y isn't going to have too much advice.

Answer 9

Where would you send a battered woman, if not a shelter? Back into the home? In my field of work, there have been women killed if it weren't for those shelters. Christianity doesn't have a good track record in handling abuse, being that some churches encourage submissiveness.

Answer 10

Peace!

There is great justice in all those who want to cause disturbances. I suggest what you said, because anything else is going to land them in a situation they cannot even imagine when it comes knocking!