My year old daughter loves to sit in my lap, but when she does, all she wants to do is scratch my eyes, pull my lips and pinch. I say "no" sternly, like I do when she does something she is not supposed to do. I have tried grabbing her hands and making eye contact and saying no. I have even tried a little smack on the hand (which I hate doing, and will not be doing again). It seems stupid to teach not to hurt by hurting. Any suggestions?
2007-09-28 14:52:10 · 8 answers · asked by s7e28w81 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Really great responses from everyone. I guess there are normal parents on at this time of night!! Thanks
2007-09-28 15:13:52 · update #1
I'm not sure if these suggestions for 'punishments' are necessary - a 1 yo is discovering everything around her - she learns about things not only visually, but by grabbing it and especially putting it in her mouth. She is learning about her own boundaries - where she ends and you begin, what is soft and squishy (your lips) what is sharp and hard (your teeth) etc.
I think to some degree you need to accept that a toddler is constantly learning from her explorations. She is not grabbing you with the intention of hurting you - she has no awareness that she is even capable of hurting you, so telling her "no" or isolating her in her cot won't be productive. Just turn her so she is facing away from you and can look at other things in the room, or distract her with a board book or soft toy.
Also, keep her nails short - they grow so fast and are like little razors!
And PLEASE don't take the advice of the previous post who suggests to pinch or scratch her back - that is the most horrible way to suppress any streak of curiosity and adventure in your child!
2007-09-29 01:10:11 · answer #1 · answered by jess b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
12 months old understand more than you realize.
I have the feeling from my experience in life that your daughter is getting your attention....any kind of attention......even negitive attention.
Try this.....
when she starts this. Stand up and walk to her room. put her in the crib. Make eye contact & tell her that when she scratches your face she will NOT be staying in your lap, but
put in her crib for 5 minutes. She can scream or cry, but you have to be consistant or it won't work. If ten mim is too much for her then shorten it. It is a good idea to set a timer in her room for the time she is isolated from you. Leave the door open to her room, so that she doesn't feel too abondoned. But, if she can deal with it close the door. You don't even need to raise your voice. Just be matter of fact about it.
Another bit of a crazy idea......do the same with her. Don't hurt her, but maybe pinch her face and tell her you will stop when she does. I have a feeling she is spunky enough to take it and needs to be put in the bed.
The buzzer will be the thing that lets her out of the bed and not you. This way she can't push you to let her out. If you have to stand ouside her door and tell her you are waiting for the buzzer to go off.
Never ever budge on this because she will twist you around her little finger. She has a strong will. It just needs to be directed in a positive way. You are actually putting down the foundation for her learning boundries and what is and what isn't acceptable behavior.
I would guess that if you do this a few times she will choose to be not scratching you so that she doesn't have to do time in her room. She is smarter than you think
2007-09-28 22:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
She probably just thinks that's what she supposed to do when she sits on your lap. Try reading a book with her, or holding her hand and clappping or something like that so she can learn something else to do when she is sitting on your lap.
2007-09-28 22:09:31 · answer #3 · answered by hhh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're doing the right thing. They need to learn what hurts you. It may not feel good but its beneficial for both of you because you don't get scratched and she learns to listen and respect your word. you have to start young or she'll be a terrible two. =)
2007-09-28 21:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by Pilgrim 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say to her "No sitting on my knee if you're going to scratch" and put her straight on the floor for a few minutes. Once she is back on your knee dont go on about it but as soon as she does it again put her straight back on the floor. She'll soon associate scratching with no cuddles.
2007-09-28 21:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by kiwichickie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your doing fine by telling her "No" in a stern voice.
That's what 12 month olds do.
Or, next time, maybe try to ignore her.
Then she wont be getting the reaction that she may be looking for.
2007-09-28 21:55:29 · answer #6 · answered by ツ Connors Mommy ツ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you spank, its not about "hurting" its about startling them and letting them know you mean business, and i dont believe spanking your child makes them hit, or confuses them, your the parent they are the child, they know your in charge. so now that thats out of the way, maybe act like shes really hurting you, shes a baby so if you put a pout on your face and say that makes mommy sad or gives mommy whatever your "booboo" word is, maybe shell understand that it hurts you.
2007-09-28 21:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by ♥mama♥ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
express to her that it does hurt you , so she can realize she's hurting mommy and needs to stop
2007-09-28 21:56:10 · answer #8 · answered by HubbyMarines 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋