my 94 year old father had serious head trauma last winter when he slipped on the ice and hit his head on the concrete,he drove around for two months before having this checked out,he fell twice hitting the same spot,in that time he had a brain bleed and his exsisting dementia got worse until he was forced to go to the hospital by my brother.thats not the problem,we recently got a notice from the dmv to renew my dads license,i cant believe what my brother said,oh he could drive,theres nothing wrong with him now,hes been told by two doctors including the neurosergeon,not to drive anymore! this is a recipe for an accident if my father gets behind the wheel! whats your opinion???
2007-09-28 13:15:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
what i cannot understand is my brother is a reputable busy dentist,what possesd him to tell my mother that it was okay for my father to get in the car and drive,he has no common sense,but i his sister who doesnt work and is on ssi has more common sense than he,ll ever have..
2007-09-28 14:34:54 · update #1
My father is 80, will be 81 in November, and he had a stroke that made his alzheimers disease much worse.
The bad thing is that he WAS driving when he really should not have been, but it was because *some* members of the family felt guilty about enforcing what the doctor has said.
He did get into a car accident, and when you hurt someone like that, it feels awful for all involved.
Honestly, he should not drive. This is not because you want to entrap your father, this is because he could KILL SOMEONE.
I think that men in general, like our brothers, do not understand the complexity of health problems. They tend to be in denial about serious issues like this, my brother was..
Take a stand :)
2007-09-28 13:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by Cari N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is such a hard time in a persons life. I went through something similar with my Mom. Driving means independence. And giving up that independence can be hard..Too many times it takes a real scare or a tragic accident to open a persons eyes..In my Mothers case, the last time , after taking her car out, she pulled her car into her garage ,closed and locked the doors as usual and went into the house..several hours later she returned to the garage to find the car still running..she had nearly asphyxiated herself.Thank Heavens she saw for herself that her driving days were over.She actually kept her car and license for several more years, but she never drove again.
I believe you are correct. Your Father shouldn't be driving. Would it be possible to take a letter from your Dad's Dr's to the DMV? He might be upset with you for intervening, but if you can save his, or someone Else's life ,you need to do it.
It's hard on both the parent and child when roles become reversed.
Good Luck
2007-09-28 16:37:09 · answer #2 · answered by r j 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get statements from the two doctors and give them to the DMV along with their notice to renew. The DMV should then call him in for a driving test before they issue another license and at that point they will see that he can no longer drive safely.
2007-09-28 13:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by smo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Driving gives more freedom than alot of people realize.
I think that if you really dont want him to drive somebody, probably you, has to be there and willing at just about ever beck and call of his to drive him were he needs to go.
There is always the chance that he wont want to be driven everywhere, because no one wants to be a burden(this is where the willing part comes in) and/or handled like a child.
Head trauma is serious I have realitives that have totaled cars because of blackouts. There werent hurt but had to get new cars, and if you call it lucky the didnt hit people or cars but a pole and a tree, afterwards they chose not to drive often but they still do it. Its cliche but true that it only takes a couple of second (people have accidents completely sober and in the best conditions) and that cars aren't made like they were and it really only takes about 20mph to do damage either to himself or worse someone else.
It really depends on what your family is willing to do.
2007-09-28 13:36:11 · answer #4 · answered by cj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your dad should not be driving. i work as an er nurse and as such have reported ppl like your dad to the dmv to have their license revoked. i am sorry but it is a public safety issue. it is sad for your dad because it is taking away something he has had for most of his life and a major part of his independence is being taken away. i don't know how to tell you how to help deal with this. but it sounds as though he has advanced dementia, and while i don't know the extent of the "brain bleed", this in my experience is still a stroke. a 94 year old should be re-evaluated by a physician for reflexes, hearing, vision, accommodation and other necessary physiological abilities needed to safely drive. i am sorry to say, i don't think he would pass. I wish you well and good luck with your dad.
2007-09-28 13:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by bella36 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother had no say to the DMV on if your dad can keep his license or not. By law your dad must report all medical problems to the DMV. I agree this would be a recipe for an accident and a lawsuit and or worse.
2007-09-28 13:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by elaine3619 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what your father had was a subdural hematoma, which does cause a person to be temporarily senile, but at 94 i'm thinking that maybe you and your brother can drive him around if you want to prevent another accident. sometimes older people don't like asking for help because they feel that they are a burden . But we are all going to get there and would n't it be nice to have a helping hand. Goodluck , and you're right being worried about your dad.
2007-09-28 13:23:46 · answer #7 · answered by Rossy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi...
I'd start by talking to your Father about your concerns. He might see it your way, but is afraid of being a nuisance to his children.
You may also alert the DMV to any conditions that would prevent his ability to drive.
Failing any of this...
If your father decides to snow bird and spend the winters in the south... tell him about how terrific the climate is in Arizona, because I live in Florida and I'd rather he not hit me while driving.
Warm regards,
Douglas
2007-09-28 13:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by prancinglion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call one of his doctors that stated he shouldn't drive. Tell them what happened and request that they contact the DMV to have the license revoked.
2007-09-28 13:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by wait and see 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he shouldn't drive anymore. Especially if the doctors said not to. We wouldn't want him hurting himself anymore or anyone else.
2007-09-28 13:20:11 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋