I posted the following question earlier and people made nasty comments. Why the jealousy?

Question

Girls and Guys in their 20s: A Question?
I have friends who are getting married and others that are not even in relationships. I myself have never been in a relationship and I am a single, straight, 28 year old male. I have not even had my first kiss yet, but I digress. The thing I find astounding is the fact that my friends seem to be acting more like aging women than young men. They constantly talk about finding a woman to settle down with and having children. Who the hell wants to rush into that in this day and age? 30 is the new 20! These people obviously didn't get the message. Being single has allowed me to work full time and still live at home with my parents and other adult siblings (24, 26). I go to school for my masters and have some spare time and money on the side as I have no rent to pay etc. What I find even more disturbing are the parents that actually seem to push their children to date, get married and have children. I am fortunate in that mine do not. Anyone have any thoughts regarding my observations?

I keep my opinions to myself (except here) so it's not like I am disrespecting their choices, I just don't understand them. However, I get attacked with nasty comments all the time because of all their jealousy. I have free time to do what I want when I want and I don't have any expenses, clearly that is the source of their jealousy. Funny world we live in.

Answer 1

it's not jealousy

I will admit we were being rather judgmental and I apologize for that.

Answer 2

simply put is this... regardless of what is the new what... age still has alot to do with how healthy children can be born... there is an age range for both men and women at a point where their age can affect the health of the child.. now that's assuming that you want children... also for most people, their late teens and early 20's they've dated, sowed their seed, and what have you... it's more of a rite of passage to true adulthood... marriage, or even a serious relationship.... it's not that you're not an adult when you turn 18 or even 21.. it's just, each has a stage.....

okay as far as any negative thought, it's great that you've sought out a higher education while living at home.. . honestly, it's probably the cheapest way to do it... but you're nearly 30, if you've lived at home and have had all this time, shouldn't you be working on your doctorate? just an observation...

if you're okay living off of your parents, never having a relationship and doing what you like.. then great... if your friends feel like growing up a little, settling down and having a family then great as well.... to each their own...

Answer 3

I advise you and your siblings to never get married and have children. being at the ages of 26-28 and never leaving home, no expenses, and apparently pretty arrogant about it is a bad situation for anyone who gets involved with your family. it's not your fault. your parents are enablers. i don't care how much money you or your parents make or have, THIS IS UNHEALTHY! plain and simple. i wonder if you all ever moved out if your parents could run four households because there is some sort of control issue going on. someone has convinced you that you have a life! but you don't. you all should grow the hell up. i hope i dont appear to be as nasty as the rest of your respondants but you should want to be more independent as a " straight, 28 year old male". FACE IT HONEY, BEING THERE IS A WHOLE OTHER ISSUE HERE. the issue is you cant commit to any wife or child because you can always run home to mommy and daddy and you are not forced to make things work on your own. they managed to have their own home and raise children but come on you are way past college and career stage. 28? come on! and the 24 year old should be on the way out too! YOU ASKED.

Answer 4

I am a mother of 5 grown up boys The oldest is 40 the youngest 30 Only the oldest one is married Just like you live with us for long time They save their money and now they own 2 houses Beleive me no more nasty comments its just the opposite its ;;OH you are rich its not the same thing ;;And those of their ages they got maried But they are all divorced with 2 or 3 kids on their hands paying big pension to their wifes You did some very wise choises do not ever regret it Not even in 10 years from now you will finished first in all aspect of life In the mean time just smile and say to those who are jealous of you I AM enjoying myself dont you I am wishing you the best of luck son

Answer 5

Mmmm...I think you got it made. In fact I do too. Im 25 and I live at home with my parents.

Im successful, I have a excellent career, stability and Im studying to be an Attorney.

I dont pay rent. I save up, invest and of course..dress well and play hard.

Im not ready for a family at this point. Sure I can handle it but I dont feel like I want it right now. Right now is the key word.

However, all this saving up and studying hard is so that I can have a easy life later and provide my kids with an easy life as well. I dont want bust out with 5 kids named Nick, Nicky, Nicolas, Nicole, etc. And have to take a walk down to the welfare office and have to feed them Cup of Noodles. So if I plan correctly, save up and do things when its the right time...I will be better off.

Marriage is not a game. It is final and ya even if you get a divorced ya cant send the kids back where you got them from!

Marriage is not going to run away, we have the rest of our lives to be married.

So, more power to you. Get stable and when your ready...your ready. Thats it.

Answer 6

You have the right idea!!! Don't let anyone discourage you. I love a man that is close with his family. In my own life I have romantic regrets. Don't be pressured. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Worry about yourself and your education. By the time you are ready you will find a woman who is at the level you are. You have the rest of your life to make those kind of decisions. I believe that the reason most marriages fail is because age and maturity. Who can make a life decision at 19? Give yourself a break, your doing the right thing : )

Answer 7

All that stuff about getting married and having kids by a certain age is a picture that society has painted in our minds for years. I dont think its wrong with what your doing. Its actually smart. Most people who rush and leave their parents home without preparing tend to go back and have to start all over again. At least your in school and trying to make it. In the dating game its best to have your own first so therefore if you live with your spouse and something happens at least you dont have to go back to mommy and daddy. at least your not mooching off of them and being lazy. Bills are a trip when your on your own. trust i know.

Answer 8

you are rare and the exception to the rule
you clearly have a life goal and are ambitious
for you the rewards of life will be rich and sweet
you will not struggle as others do
you are not a fool who has a 20/80 mortgage that is resetting right now with credit cards maxed out and is about to lose their house to foreclosure because you started out too early to make a family
no your friends lack ambition, and education and common sense
we live longer now a days
there is no need to start having kids in their 20's
it's down right foolish and really sabotages their and their kids future
so why do it ?
it's like women and tattoos ( tramp stamps ), just because one does so do they all
you can take comfort in knowing that your friends divorce at an 50 o 65 percent divorce rate
in the next 5 years you'll see your friends 1st hand knowing about child support, visitation rights and other legal jargon forced on them.. oh yeah they will also find out about no fault divorce and community property
BTW everyone I know with a Masters or Doctorate married much later in life, to other degreed professionals ( water seeks it's own level ) and enjoys a standard of living with children that others merely dream about,
no it's fair to say you are making all the right choices that only a wise man makes
all other are fools in sheep's' clothing
waiting to be shorn by the wolves of society
you have not succumb to the pressure of getting trapped in a marriage by dream killing women who do not like the competition between a man's ambition and her life goal of trapping a man with a child so early on

Answer 9

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Answer 10

First of all 30 is not the new 20. That's just tabloid hype.
People do what they feel like doing. And progressing the way they wish to progress.
Don't judge others lest ye be judged.

Answer 11

Are you seriously wondering why people think there's somehthing wrong with you, or is this a joke?

Most people think that by 28, you should, at a minimum, be living on your own and had at least one relationship. I don't think it's jealousy you're experiencing; I think it's disbelief.