My son gets mad too easy...What should I do?

Question

when my son (9yrs.) is told "no" or asked to do something, like bursh his teeth, take his shoes to his room, do his homework etc., he explodes. He'll start crying, if he has something in his hand he'll throw it, or he'll push something onto the floor. I have tried a reward system and have taken privledges away, but he continues to act like that. I am at a loss on what else I could do. Please I need some advice!

Answer 1

Look for sources of aggression, i.e. bullying.

Answer 2

Try giving him a choice with the request. Such as "It's time to start getting ready for bed. Are you going to brush your teeth before or after you put your homework away?

It give the child some measure of control while letting you remain in control. Removing a privilege or taking a time out may also help. Be sure to tell them why they are there and be firm about him staying where he is asked, without engaging him in anyway.

I would also talk to the school see if there is an underlying problem, and to the school counselor. They may be anger management issues that he has not yet mastered. After all most kids don't like their chores.

Also give LOTS of praise for the positive behavior and when you correct inappropriate behavior, don't let them suck you into the power struggle. It's OK to let kids get the last word in sometimes, because if they keep you engaged they have the power in the situation and while it may be negative attention it's still attention and they are not having to do what you asked.

Answer 3

he's 3 and don't prefer to proportion you. communicate on your boyfriend and get him to spend some time interior the floor fiddling with your little guy and bond with him so as that he would not sense ignored. whilst your boyfriend brings you flora, ask him to convey your little boy something too, his widespread candy or some ice cream. in case your boyfriend would not decide for this then perchance you may pass on without this boyfriend, i'm assuming he's not your son's father. once you're a single mom then it takes somebody stunning to deserve the full kit, that being you and your son. If he his the father, then he needs to bond along with his son greater. desire this enables.

Answer 4

Ask him what's making him so mad. Explain to him that it's important not to explode as you describe. There's something going on in his life that's got him all bent out of shape. It could be something at school or some problem with his friends. Talk with him about why he gets so mad when you ask him to do things.

One helplful hint: Try asking him to help you do something rather than telling him to do something. A shared activity can provide the perfect atmosphere for talking. And always thank him when he helps you or when he does something you've asked him to do. Always thank him. People, even kids, like to be thanked. It makes them feel like what they've done is useful and important.

Answer 5

Children, like many adults do not use their words when they are angry. Look deeper into his life. He does have a life outside your home. There maybe problems with kids at school, teachers, bullys, or even abuse going on that you are unaware of.
A boy i knew years ago was being molested and acted out in similar ways.
I have no idea if this is even possible to be happening to your child right now, but it is something to look at.

Answer 6

BlueMonkey - your son doesn't know how to "handle" his emotions (a common problem for people of all ages). He doesn't understand how his emotions work and so he doesn't know how to handle his frustration (like when you say "no") or anger. He feels BAD and doesn't know how to feel GOOD and he just 'ACTS OUT' his bad feelings..

Do not punish him, but teach him how to process and move through his emotions. One way to help him process his emotions is by teaching him EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Emotional Tapping. In EFT you apply gentle acupressure tapping to specific body points to help release emotions. EFT is easy to learn (you can learn the basics in 15-30 minutes and teach them easily to your son). You can use EFT anytime, anywhere for any emotional or physical issue. One basic round of EFT takes about one minute to complete.

Please download the FREE EFT Instructional Manual from the EFT website (www.emofree.com). Also, please watch the FREE Introductory video.

One more thing, there is an EFT book specifically for children called Goodbye Ouchies and Grouchies, Hello Happy Feelings (EFT for Kids of All Ages) by Lynne Namka, Ed.D. which might be easier for your child to read/use.

I learned EFT last year and use it everyday. My husband and three children (ages 21, 19 and 15) also use it everyday. EFT is a wonderful tool that anyone can use to help them process their emotions and help them feel good. EFT looks funny but it REALLY works, and it works FAST and PAINLESSLY.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Just stand your ground and let him have his tantrum. If you don't react, then he's not getting the attention he's looking for, and he'll get over it when it realizes it's just a waste of energy.

Answer 8

Spank his rosy, chubby bottom.