I am an adult learner at a technical school. Recently, I have become disheartened at hearing other adult learners making fun of each other, and one made a comment directed towards me.
First, a hispanic female made a comment, "No offense, but all white people are stupid."
We have a girl in our class from the south, and someone said, "She's been here for years, why does she still sound so retarded?"
And today, a woman said to me, "Why are you so fat? Do you have a drinking problem? Beer makes you fat. You must be an alcoholic." (I was very bothered due to the fact that I have been dieting for 8 months).
Jeez! We're adults! We are all between the ages of 20 and 50, and the ones making all of the comments are in their 30s! What are people's problems? We just started classes not even a month ago, none of us really even know each other, yet we have people with high school mentalities.
How to deal with people like this? It seems a little immature to go tattling, but..........?
2007-09-28 10:51:18 · 16 answers · asked by Barney Blake 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
do not tattle. just do your work and get your degree. those people are stupid and it is not your worry.
2007-09-28 10:54:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, age does not always equate to maturity or empathy for others. Never make a snappy comment back, no matter how tempting. It is, however, certainly acceptable to make your discomfort known with a statement such as:
"I'm sorry, I find your comment/question inappropriate." (Then change the subject - perhaps by asking about a class topic?)
The key is delivery, be calm and ensure your tone of voice is kind, not loud or angry. I would only do this if the statement or comment was addressed to me. For much better replies, please search within the Miss Manners archives. I recall several excellent replies to this type of inappropriate comment.
If this is happening during class time and disturbing your studies, then I do think it would be appropriate to speak with the instructor. You do not need to mention the conversation specifics, simply state that talking during class is distracting from your ability to learn.
2007-09-28 11:21:06 · answer #2 · answered by mystikalyx 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stand up for yourself. The next time some rude person makes a comment let them know exactly how you feel. for instance the comment about your weight. You could say something like this. Excuse me but my weight is none of your concern. If you feel that you need to worry about something then I suggest you worry about your rudeness and lack of class. Then calmly walk away. I hate to tell you this but it doesn't get any better with age. My grandmother is 90 we talk just about everyday. She plays cards and shoots pool at the activity centers in Florida and you should hear how rude some of these people are. I have to laugh. But they actually go and tattle to. Good luck to you. Keep up the hard work on the diet and your studies.
2007-09-28 10:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't let their behavior get to you, I guess some people are just rude and petty like that. I'm somewhat surprised by their behavior according to your description, because I generally assumed adults with working experiences to be socially apt and levelheaded... Maybe they didn't have a decent education growing up, so you can cut them some slack. Were they just having some light-hearted fun before lessons starts? It's best to not take these people too seriously and be civil about it.
2007-09-28 11:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so unbelievable! People were more civil than that at my college and we were all late teens/early twenties. Ugh. Next time someone makes a comment, you could just try clearing your throat and saying something like "Excuse me, but I believe we're all adults here and the whole point of education is to GROW UP, perhaps you could keep your immature opinions to yourselves?" Of course, if they behave like that in class they probably act like that in every aspect of their lives and think everyone cares about their opinions.. NEWSFLASH: NO ONE DOES. I really can not believe the utter audacity and immaturity of those comments!
2007-09-28 10:58:51 · answer #5 · answered by slytherinferret 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say ignore them- they obviously may be adults age wise, but have the maturity level of junior high schoolers. I had a former boss, who when asked something he didn't like, would say in a very haughty tone, "what would ever possess you to say such a thing?" which usually shut up even the biggest jerk. So I guess you could try that if they really make you crazy.
2007-09-28 11:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We're all adults, but not all of us had proper parenting which taught us to consider the feelings of others rather than blurting out the first judgmental, hateful thought we had.
While refuting foolish statements like "all white people are stupid" is tempting, a wiser course of action is to say, "Amazing. I can't believe you said that" and no more.
In fact, that reply would work for every example you gave, and may take you further than replies like, "Oh, remind me, who's the Hispanic Einstein and Hawking?" or "Why do you feel entitled to comment on personal traits of other people?"
2007-09-28 10:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well to susan, i have to ay you are wrong....even at a 4 year college, you deal with immature ppl. i personally thinkthat just b/c you are over 18, doesnt make you an adult.....i am dealing with the same issue as you.....i am surrounded by immature ppl...i feel like im still in jr high...so most of the time i just ignor these ppl.. but i think the next time they do something immature and say commets similar to the ones you stated, i will call them out on it...
good luck to us both....lol
-chai
2007-09-28 13:28:32 · answer #8 · answered by chai 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's simple. They DO NOT do it because they think they are better than others. They feel insecure, so they try to belittle others to make themselves feel better and more important.
They way that you deal with it is you remind yourself that these people's opinions do not matter. They are not your friends, family, teachers, employers, etc. They are insignificant to your existence. Let them say whatever they want to say and ignore them. If they come at you again, don't even respond to them. You are there to get an education, so do it.
They are just like bullies in school. If they do not get a reaction, they will quit.
2007-09-28 11:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by princess_dnb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem in my classes. People thinking they are so much better and smarter than the others in the class. This is online classes. Most likely the ones in my class that are rude don't have as good of a grade as others of us do!
2007-09-28 10:56:48 · answer #10 · answered by slip2eternity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you have some low rent people in your class. Feel free to state to the students that no personal or rude comments about others will be tolerated. If they insist, you have the authority to kick them out.
2007-09-28 11:12:16 · answer #11 · answered by beez 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋