I recently got engaged and we finally set a date of may 3rd , My finace had to go out to a family affair out of state and I am setting up arrangments for our wedding while he is gone reception hall , church ...etc.
When I get a phone call last night he is telling me that his, mothers god son, is also engaged and they have the exact same wedding date as I chose.
well now his Mother wants me to move MY wedding date with her REAL son , so it will accomidate her ( GOD SON) wedding date .
My fiance and I have a special thing with the number 3 ... now if I move the date earlier to a weekend the wedding will be moved up two months ... and that doesn't give me time to plan for my wedding ... if I move the wedding forward it would be 3 months from the original date set making it 9 months till we could get married ....
the god sons wedding is in Chicago where my fiance family is , our wedding is to be out of state...
what the hell do i do about this ?
2007-09-28 10:35:49 · 19 answers · asked by la de da 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
what about the 21st for a date ---- 2+1 == 3 , if you look at numerology
or 12th any numbers that add together to make 3 ;
or maybe even 9 ( 3x3 )
then do all your table arrangements etc in 3's ; even just 3 flowers in your bouquet .
BUT yes NOT good that you have been asked to change
your date
2007-09-28 13:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a very sticky situation! I would say if you have already started planning, ordered items, contracted vendors,etc. Then you should not change your wedding date. However, if you have not started the planning process and the number three is a special number to you (it was to me too!), then consider moving it to another weekend. That way you will both win. You will have a happy MIL and get to be married on a date that is special to you.
Do not rule out a Sunday wedding either. They are becoming increasingly popular, as are Thursday and Friday for wedding ceremonies. Maybe your date can just have the number three in it or start with the number three instead.
Hopefully, you will be able to find a nice compromise here where everyone will be happy. Waiting 9 months to plan a wedding is not that long. It will give you longer to plan!
2007-09-28 18:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by Wedding Planner 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can still have plenty of time to plan the wedding, even if you only have 9 months to plan. I planned my whole wedding on my own, while working 60+ hours a week at my job, in 7 weeks. If you are set on the date, talk to your fiance' and his mother both. See if there is any way you could compromise. Would you have to move the date up, or could you even wait a little longer, give yourself a little more time?
2007-09-28 20:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by ~Katie~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends how far you are in your wedding plans and when the other couple set the date. If they set it a couple of weeks or months before you did, and you are still able to switch the date without too much hussle, just do it for family peace's sake. It wouldn't be nice to have your wedding with you fiance's family either not attending or looking all sourish. If you set the date first and absolutely can't change the date any more, stick to it. You could probably try to contact the other couple ASAP and try to find a compromise.. Good Luck
2007-09-28 17:55:30 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie P 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had to move my wedding from a Saturday to a Sunday to accomodate my MIL. I was so upset and angry because her family were going away the week I found the date. She never commuunicated anything until it was after the fact. I had to deal with guests not coming because of a Sunday night affair, but it was fine. I had to plan the affair in 4 mths as oppose to 5 mths. Pick the month with the best weather, or time of year that you'd like an go with it. I would go with March... a March wedding is nice because that's when spring is in the air, the cherry blossoms start budding, but August is prime for sun an lots of flowers. Try to see the positive and then you won't be so upst. That's what i did. Sunday wedding we saved money:) And my favorite time of year is the fall.
2007-09-28 18:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by Lyla 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you can't go backwards, that's for certain! By now yuo've probably realized that it only makes good sense to confirm major dates with your parents AND the groom's parents before you go making concrete plans. This is just good manners! You two set a date and he left you to plan. That's reasonable BUT - the lunkhead should have made "the big phone call" to his mom as soon as you set the date out of sheer pride and excitement. Then she would have had the opportunity to check the calendar out. By remaining distant and not involving your new mother-in-law from from the get-go, you caused your own problems and she is now letting you know that she expects communication from now on!! You have two choices. You can act like a prima donna and insist on May 3rd but that would be like drawing a line in the sand. Ouch. OR - you can take the high road and work with your fiance, your family and his family and set a date that works for EVERYONE. The wedding isn't until next spring so you haven't got your invitations printed yet. Any reservations can be changed. You absolutely CAN plan a wedding for March 2008 and even if you wait until August, you will be shocked at how fast 9 months fly by! (Ask anyone who's had a pregnancy!!) Aalso if you wait until august, you'll be able to attend the Godson's wedding, check out the boo-boos made, and be sure to have only perfection at your own event. come on! Use this to your advantage! The value of having a happy mother-in-law can not be over-estimated and your groom will love you even more.
2007-09-28 18:18:52 · answer #6 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
It is your wedding, so i say that it is you who should determine when and where you want to get married. I would think that she would also consider the feelings of her actual son as well, while i think it is important to also be there for a god-child, she should consider that her actions could be the beginnings of some ill will at a future date. One question, did you have your wedding date set before the god-son had his set? If so, then you have an even stronger case to present to his mother about not changing your wedding date. Hope it works out OK.
2007-09-28 17:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by dukefritz79 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you want people to come to your wedding, you'll move your date to the later date. People will always pick a local wedding over an out of state wedding. Of course, if you do change the date, it might set a bad precedent for your MIL butting into your lives.
2007-09-28 21:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
even if you move it back a couple of months, you should still have plenty of time to plan. My guy and I are planning everything in about 4 months, and it's a pretty big wedding. The next couple of months are going to be busy, but you can do it. Unfortunately, there's no way you could have known that the godson had picked the same date. Sure, it's an inconvenience, but at least you still have several months to plan.
It will all work out. Good luck.
2007-09-28 17:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by SE 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you just got engaged and don't have any commitments on paper (the invites printed or a hall reserved) then it's no big deal to move it. 3 extra months to plan, 9 months to be engaged isn't that long when you think of all you will have to do. I would talk to your husband to be about it. Maybe he wants to go to the wedding in Chicago. You can't make everyone happy all the time but if this is a major issue for his family then it's not that big adeal to change it.
2007-09-28 18:08:52 · answer #10 · answered by az 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋