I just heard a woman say she wants to try for children AS SOON as she finds "The One." Why would a woman...

Question

...think like this? It sounds terrible, like she doesn't even care about the husband, she just wants a donor.

I wanted to tell her, "Hey, if you are actually lucky enough to find "The One," then take your time and enjoy him!!!

So why are children more important to these women than their life partner? I know a lot of women like this, and it seems backwards to me. I have been married 5 years. My time with my husband is just too important to give up.

This is someone I know pretty well, so no chance I was misreading the situation. Plenty other girls I've known were like this too.

Answer 1

i agree with Lana, when a couple gets married they should get to know each other the first few years together, take vacations, spend time together at dinner, go to movies in the middle of the night, just be with each other ALONE becuase having children right away would just get in the way of their time, seriously, having to deal with crying in the middle of the night, changing diapers, worrying where the child will be when they both have to work and can't look after him or her would just get in the way of their time together, their lives will automatically be about the children and not themselves anymore.

EDIT: i dont know why women obsessed about children more than a husband, its quite annoying now that you said something about it, i'm not even worried about children right now, i'm worried about finding a man to spend the rest of my life with, i want somebody to love and share my life with

Answer 2

Sometimes women have these fantasies about one fine day meeting Mr. Right, or "the one". A lot of women don't want to have children because they don't feel finacially stable, some women are just insecure and don't believe that they could handle having a child without someone being able to help them. And really how many times have you been with someone who you thought was the one? And why would you be in a relationship with someone who you don't think is the one? Idk. Sometimes the grass seems greener. And people are constantly changing, so if you're with "the one" at one point then years later you realize maybe he's not the one, then you will fail at every relationship; cause you will constantly be looking for "the one". Personally I think it's sad that some people only date certain people because of how it will benefit them: ex. i have met people that only date outside their race so that their baby will have "good hair", i know others who are married to people just for the money.

Answer 3

this sounds like a career woman to me, someone who put off husband, home and kids to pursue a career and now she is hearing the clock ticking very loudly.
woman are very out of balance at the moment and to many think they can put things off, and then you get statements like this.
This poor woman will forever be putting things off and then be on a hunting spree to gain them again, she will never be able to just be happy.

edit: some women just have a very strong urge to mother, its not that the man is not important (although this does happen) but that they do not fill fulfilled with out babies.
I have also been married 5 years and we have 2 babies, and as much as I love and live for my children they will grow up and leave, my hubby is with me til death. We have worked very hard to still have our time and keep a good balance so I am not mama day and night but wife also.

Answer 4

No, I don't think she just wants a "donor." She did say she is looking for "the one," meaning I'm sure she wants to find her soul mate who she can love completely and share her life with.

If she's in a hurry to become a mom, there may be many reasons. Maybe she wants to be young parents so they can watch their children and grandchildren grow old. Maybe she wants to be able to run around after them and care for them when she is young and full of energy. Maybe she is worried about her fertility and does not want to risk the chance of waiting until later in life and not being able to conceive. Maybe she just loves the idea of having a family and can't wait to make it happen.

To each their own. Why do you care how she wants to live her life?

Answer 5

If she was just looking for a donor she wouldn't have to hold out for "the one" she could go to a sperm bank.

I think she is being honest that she wants a good man to settle down with and raise children with.

There is nothing wrong with that, maybe the spouse to be wants the same thing?

You sound a bit jealous over her.

Don't judge so much, you will be a happier person.

Answer 6

want to know what i think? some girls feel unloved (guys too probably) and feel that if they have a child, their entire life will be fulfilled... they don't take into the consideration the expense, the sleepless nights, the fact that they are responsible 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for an infant, and will have to care for this little person for at least 18 years.

Answer 7

It sounds like she cant wait to find the perfect man and soon as that happens then come the kids,,,,,right???? and whats wrong with that ??....she did not say soon as i lay eyes on a man that would make a cute baby I am going to rock his world till I get knocked up and then I am going to go after him for 18 years of child support and free babysitting on the weekends..booya!


I think maby you might have read into that a little tooo deap and maby you yourself is just scared about the thought???!?!?!!??

Answer 8

I actually agree I have friends who are my age (22) or younger and they're desperate to meet 'the one' so they can settle down and have children....why? The last thing I want is kids/a husband and if I did happen to meet 'the one' I'd want a few years to get to know that person before kids came along

Answer 9

She said "as soon as she finds The One". "The One" -- get it? She's not looking for just a sperm donor; she wants that extra-special, one-in-a-million, the-only-man-that-would-ever-be-perfect-for-her guy. Of course she's going to care about the husband.

Since she wants children, and apparently wants them a whole lot, obviously the man who's perfect for her will want children too. They're going to be family people, and they're going to enjoy each other while they enjoy each other.

Sounds to me like a woman who knows what she wants.

Answer 10

People put a lot of stock in having kids. For some women, that's the measure of their whole life's worth. For example, my mom never had a job in her life. Her whole life's worth is her four kids, and that's all she has to show.

I'm a single chick of child-bearing years, and I'm not sure I even want kids. But everyone is different.