How do I tell my mo to butt out?

Question

I have 3 children, my mom has to know every exact detail of their entire life. She comes over everyday, tells me everything I should and shouldn't do, gets mad when it isn't her way, nad just tries to take over. When my children get in trouble at home, they tell me "I'll tell grandmaw"! It makes me so mad. I like having her around but they are my children not hers. What should I do. I don't want to hurt her feelings. She even plans vacatrions for them without asking me first and ends up getting mad because we done had other plans. Please advise.

Answer 1

tell her that you love her being around and the kids adore her,but they are your kids ,will be raised the way you see fit. and if she cant keep her opinions to herself and let you raise your children, then you will have to cut down how much she gets to see them.

Answer 2

First of all take a deep breath. The important thing you need to remember is that you are an adult, those are your children and you are in control of your life.
Second, of all you need to start setting boundaries with your mother. The most obvious being that she doesn't need to be over there every day.
Third, when she begins to give you unsolicited advise or tell you what to do as nicely as possible let her know that you are the parent and you will decide what is best for your children and although you respect her advice, you will ask for it when you need it. She will get mad but she just will have to get glad in the same panties.
Fourth, when she plans something without asking you or consulting you, tell her the kids can't do it or can't go. Explain in future she needs to check with you before making plans. This will make you unpopular with her and your kids but if you are consistent, it will really help.
Fifth, next time your kids tell you they are going to tell your mother remind them you are their mother and they can tell her if they want but it isn't going to change a thing.
If you don't start setting boundaries now, this will only get worse and never end.

Answer 3

You choose a moment when she's not doing any of these things bothering you. A quiet moment and politely, but FIRMLY explain to her that you need your space to raise your own family. That she is undermining you before the children and that isn't healthy for them. If she is this intrusive, her feelings will probably be hurt any way you tell her this, but your children are your first priority and this situation isn't helping them. If possible, consinder moving a distance less reachable for her. Everyday visits are just too much.

You are an adult. Remember that, (and remind her too)

Answer 4

no easy way around this. you'll just have to sit her down and tell her to back off and start limiting her visits. if she still insists on doing this, you may wind up getting in her face which won't be pretty.

Answer 5

just have to tell her upfront theres really way to get aorund this, just TELL HER!! tell her you dont appreciate when shes controlling everything that you should be in charge of, tell her you can handle the kids and their lifestyle on your own becuase they are your kids not hers, she just has to keept it down a bit