My daughter came home from being trown out by her soon to be ex husband. she doesnt do drugs or anything like that. she has two part time jobs. While I respect my sil wanting to be in charge. zBut i am supposed to leave work to take my daughter to work. I am suposed to pay for her dental and cell and all of that. my sil makes 3 times what i do and who knows how much more than my daughter. She just has to have everything her way.. She even says that soon she will retire and it will be ok because her brother and I can move in with her to help her pay her bills. I am not going to do that. She is just so demanding. She thinks that she runs the family when in fact we try to avoid her as much as possible. she is 60 never been married and has no children but she does have four dogs that have the run of the house. my daughter cleans up the pee and poop every day and the house just stinks. Bujt, she expects my daughter to pay for all the take out. they dont cook . my SIL ismybos
2007-09-28 09:50:32 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is so sad how you don't see that your daughter at least has a home to stay at.. Dang if it were me i would tell my sister how much i loved her for being so wonderful and taking on my daughter seeing how I had not let her into my house for not a good enough reason. If it were my daughter she could sleep in the kitchen if that was what it took for me to help her out. No matter what be grateful that she is in a good place and if she does not want to smell the poops all she has to do is clean it up or move out. She is lucky for the helping hand being given so don't bite the hand that helps out.
2007-09-28 10:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, your SIL is letting your daughter live with her, and all she has to do is pay for the food and clean up after the dogs? Sounds like a heck of a deal to me. If your daughter doesn't like it, she can deal with the situation herself.
You should really tell your SIL that you and your husband have no intention of moving in with her, so that she can make her plans accordingly. It's really not fair to let her think that you will.
2007-09-28 10:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by Diane H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so here is the deal. This is the kind of woman that you don't want to ask for favors. I think your daughter, since she is grown, needs to pay for any of her own expenses. Either she can afford to or can't, that's life.
Your daughter can offer to pay something for staying there, she should. Nothing is free. If she paying her an amount they agreed upon, she can't be made to feel guilty or feel obligated to pay for take out etc..,
Lastly, your daughter should move out as soon as she possibly can.
Lastly, next time your SIL talks about retiring and you moving in, let her know as nicely as possible that you won't be doing that. She may be planning her entire retirement around that fact.
2007-09-28 10:14:08 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The obvious answer is tell your daughter to engage a lawyer, throw the soon to be ex's butt out and continue to live in her own home and don't settle for any kind of a shoddy settlement in the divorce. With 2 part time jobs she should be able to handle things after an equitable divorce settlement. And you ,your husband and the SIL should all emotionally support your daughter.
2007-09-28 10:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by Becky B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you taking your daughter to work and paying her bills? She's an adult and needs to not have mommy pay for everything. As for your sister in law, you said she has to have everything her way.. That's because it's her house. It may not sound right, but that's just the way it is. Your daughter needs to become independent and get her own place. If she's willing to pay for the take out, then let her. That's her choice. Maybe it's a way of her paying back her aunt for letting her stay there. Encourage your daughter to get her own place and stop paying her bills.
2007-09-28 11:05:27 · answer #5 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you have to deal with? I don't understand what you are saying.
If she is letting your daughter live there then your daughter should do what has to be done for that exchange. I don't think paying for food and picking up dog poop is all that bad considering she has a roof over her head. And it might actually help your daughter to get motivated and get out of there quickly, since it isn't her aunt's responsibility to take care of her anyway.
It sounds to me like you have some jealousy issues with your husband's sister.
2007-09-28 09:59:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your daughter ought to learn to cook, and start cooking for herself... it's a lot cheaper.
as far as her dental bills, your daughter is obviously an adult, and is responsible for her own bills. not you, not her aunt...
if the aunt was kind enough to let your daughter stay there, and if your daughter can stand the smell, then i guess everyone needs to shut up, ignore the aunt, and go about their business. auntie will never change, so don't hope she will.
letting others affect our mood and emotions is unhealthy.
2007-09-28 09:59:30 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So your sister is wrong for expecting your grown daughter to at least try to support herself?
Remember- YOU aren't the one allowing your daughter to stay under your roof.
You and your daughter both should be kissing the ground your sister walks on. She obviously DOES run the show.
2007-09-28 09:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋