Why is that people make the same mistake over and over again?

Question

My one and only friend has given me chance after chance but every time she's gives me another chance I do something else to hurt her. I tell her that I've changed that I'm going to do right this time but I usually resort to my old ways. What the heck is that? And then she kicks me to the curb and I sit back having this pity party because I'm so lost when she's out of my life but I have no one to be mad at but myself. I'm just so confused as to why I can't get my act together. I really do appreciate our friendship because if I didn't I wouldn't be so darn depressed when she kicks me to the curb. And making friends doesn't seem very possible. I've been here at my school for about 2 months and have yet to make a new friend. I'm so lonely, I don't know know what keeps me going on cuz right now I have no reason to go on. What am I to do?

Answer 1

if she is truely your friend you will stop hurting her and yourself....true friendship is so very hard to find...and if you value hers you will take control and put your mind to it......

Answer 2

You don't say what it is you keep doing that hurts your friend. I hope you don't mean it literally that she "kicks you to the curb." If she's getting physically abusive, I can't see that it's much of a friendship.

I think this may be what shrinks call codependency. You do something that hurts her, then she does something to get back at you. Then you are all apologetic, instead of being indignant that she hurt you, too. So you two are constantly playing a game of balancing the hurts, one up, then the other up, and both needing to find a better way to be friends. It sounds like you are making up over and over because she's the only friend you have. That's not a good reason, you know.

Isn't there an adult you can talk this over with? Your mom or dad? An aunt or uncle? Maybe a teacher?

Answer 3

The first thing you need to do is stop feeling sorry for yourself. Most people don't care to be around negative attitudes which seems to be making it hard for you to make friends. If you don't like you, who will?

Now about your friendship. People who generally make the same mistake over and over again are trying to do things the same way and expecting to get different results. If you want different results, try a different method. If talking about your friend behind her back pushes her away, stop being messy. If being inconsiderate of her feelings makes her not want to be bothered with you, try showing some consideration for how she feels. If flirting with her boyfriend makes her want to choke you, don't even talk to the boy. Whatever mistakes you are making, take inventory of them so that you can work on improving those things about yourself.

You have to like, love, and respect yourself before you can expect to get any of those things from anybody else.

Answer 4

Every body makes mistakes, and usually the same one over and over. People are prone to the same weaknesses and that rarely changes. A good friend will stick with you regardless of how many dumb mistakes you make. My friend and I are going through the same thing right now. I got mad and walked away, but I love her, so I called her and apologized to her. It wont be long before I mess up. It is just how friendships work

Answer 5

Stop making excuses for you own behaviour, you either do the same things over and over because you like the attention you get when your friend kicks you to the curb or you just don't really care. either way, you know the answer but its easier to feel sorry for yourself then to do the right thing.

Answer 6

Strange how you seem to remember the value of your friendship only after you lose it,again,and again.You should have placed value of your friendship in the foremost part of your mind and ever time you thought about reverting to your old ways this alarm should have gone off to stop you,trouble is you DID NOT LEARN from your mistakes. When one learns from their mistakes it is burned into the mind,heart and soul, so that the mistake will NOT be repeated again.

Answer 7

Well, what you need to do is dont give up , go to your friend and tell him or her how you feel , and if that don't work, show him or her that you have change rather than saying it in words and don't worry the moment you get things to together, you'll have him or her and more friends, just be yourself and continue to try to be a better person.

Answer 8

You are not making the same mistake again and again each mistake is different the result is the only thing that remains the same..

Maybe you need to go and see the school psychologist and learn why you push people away rather than getting to know them..

Answer 9

This is how I get by:

I am what i do. I do what will make you proud of myself.

It is OK to be alone. In many ways we will always be alone. Some gaps are never bridged. Treat yourself well. Respect yourself. Treat others like you treat yourself.

If you are unhappy, look to children. They will show you how to have a light heart, to love, and be giving.

I wish you the best.

Answer 10

to answer ur first question, Some people dont learn.
are you a selfish person?
some people only think about themselves and end up hurting others, always think about the outcome of things before you do them and think of how much it would hurt you or them. I hope you learn to do the right thing!

Answer 11

Well next time you have a friend. Be a "Friend".

Before you do something, stop and think:
1. is this something that will hurt my friend?
2. is this something that I would not like if it was done to me?