My boyfriend went out to the bars last night after work. I can't get into the late night bars yet because I am only 20. I also work at 8:00 in the morning. I guess he ran into an old friend. He said she just reasently got married. He told me her name and that she would like to meet me sometime. "She wanted to meet the girl that stole his heart." I asked if she was an old **** buddy. He said yes. He said she was my first...I said your first, he said not my first but my first for something. I guess he really got her hot and had her on the edge. If you understand what I'm saying. What would you say and how would you react? I was upset and we got into a fight, not just about that but a few other things.
2007-09-28 09:15:23 · 26 answers · asked by Don't be taken for granted! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have seen a few of his ex-girlfriends before and they really aren't girls I would hangout with. He also has an Ex-Wife. He tells me that he thinks that I am the one, and I guess he tells others that also. Should I start telling him what a wonderful sex life I had in my past too!
2007-09-28 09:30:15 · update #1
two wrongs do not make a right. what you need to do is tell him what he has done in his past is just that his past and you rather not hear about it. but on the other hand you did ask him. you have to give him credit he could of lied to you or not even told you he seen her. he was very honest even though it hurt cuz it would me to. i would be a liar if i said it wouldnt. maybe you should meet her so she can see the woman who has stole his heart and be proud of it.things are tuff and i understand youve been going through alot of tuff times. but in all honesty i think he really loves you. especially if he talks about you when he goes out.but please have him be careful drinking and driving.my daughters fiance drove drunk one night on his way home he got into an accident that killed three young boys and the fourth one is still in the hospital a year later.her fiance, my grandsons dad is serving 51 years in prison because of one night going out. he use to stay at home and drink but not this one night. now i watch everyone around suffer my daughter, the boys and the other family. so be careful please.
2007-09-28 16:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by Fran J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the bum.
First, hanging out in bars is probably not one of the best qualities you should look for in a man.
Second, you have to go to work; what about him? Does he have a job?
Third, if he isn't doing her already, he will be.
Fourth, if you're already living together, move out! Why would the guy ever marry you, if he gets all he wants, plus he can meet women in bars?
Fifth, you probably deserve a lot better than this guy. You are only 20. I know you don't realize it, but you are VERY YOUNG! When you're in your 50s, like I am, you'll realize how young 20 really is.
Sixth, I hope you don't already have any kids with this bum.
Seventh, most guys are bums. I know, I am one.
2007-09-28 09:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by Rick K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you shouldn't feel threatened by this girl. obviously she is in the past and he wants to be with you now. and at least he told you about it?! most guys i know would have omitted that part of the night, ha. maybe shes just is curious and wants to see the girl who actually won him over? girls are crazy you know-me included at times. as long as he didn't do anything wrong and was honest with you then i don't really see a problem. but if you don't want to meet her or think it would be too awkward, then just tell him no way. i don't know what the other part of the fight was about, but i have a feeling you were already upset about something else which made this situation sounds worse than what it really was.
2007-09-28 09:23:33 · answer #3 · answered by Carlisle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend did say something like that too me once and i said okay i will meet her. I never did though and that was like almost a year ago. Odds are it wont happen, but if it does put on your best and look your best.
Anyway I was pissed when he told me that it made me feel like she was sizing me up or something seeing what her competition was. He kept telling me its not like that she is married she has a child and i was like so! You can get divorces on the Internet in a week these days. I was in fact jealous. i realized later that i was overreacting of course and i explained to him why I reacted the way I did. he understood and things were better after that. that's when i told him i would meet her. But look no body I mean no body wants to deal with a guys ex. I dont care who you are you will always feel like they still love that person and they may go back to them.
my boyfriend has a baby by his ex and i swore he still likes her and wants to go back even though she now weighs about 80 pounds more than me and is a lesbian LOL. she just always seems to pop up and always wants something. so I definitely understand where you are coming from.
2007-09-28 09:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be too upset about it. It would be different if he somehow tried to hide it from you and you found out about it later, but it sounds like he's being upfront about it right from the beginning. So what? He ran into someone from his past in a bar that he happened to ****. Most likely that has happened, or will happen, to all of us. She's married, he's with you.. I really wouldn't think much of it at all.
2007-09-28 09:20:28 · answer #5 · answered by vball03umd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key point here is that she's married.
Yeah, the exes are always odd to meet, and it's a little narcissistic of him to say that "girl who stole his heart line" (although, frankly, he's saying that he's smitten with you) but if there was any there there, he wouldn't be comfortable introducing the two of you. He should be a little more open, and perhaps a bit more reassuring that all's well and everything's over and done with.
But, she's MARRIED. and he wants her to meet YOU.
2007-09-28 09:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by sunshinebear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by appreciating the fact that he is being honest about what she is to him. He didn't lie and say "oh, she's just a friend" leaving you to guess.
Do you resent him for being successful with other women?
Are you afraid of something?
Talk to your man about what's bothering you in a way that does not sound like you are accusing him of something. It is unfair for you to get generally upset at him without telling him what the real problem is.
2007-09-28 09:53:49 · answer #7 · answered by j0wner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to tell. He told you about her right and that atleast has to count for something. Just talk to him about it and refrane from being hostile. Go meet her and maybe you can make a new friend out of it. Relationships are a lot of work but can be worthwhile in the end.
2007-09-28 09:19:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An old adage, "Do not ask questions about things you do not want to know". You might also want to be sober when you are discussing important things, at least important to you. Your guy might have been under the influence and said things better left unsaid, even if asked. Bars are not the best places to discuss personal stuff.
2007-09-28 09:19:22 · answer #9 · answered by bigjohn B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me, I'd be PROUD I have his heart. And I'd show it. Who is he going home with?? Thats the question you need to ask. I'm not jealous or mad at any of my man's exs. They're exs for a purpose and him and I couldn't be happier. Be proud of who you are with girl!!!!! You need to learn how to let things go and in time you wil. I used to be like you and all we did was argue, but we're perfect now. We communicate so well that nothing really bothers us. You'll get there!
2007-09-28 09:23:33 · answer #10 · answered by Blondee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋